


Shoganai

by ni21



Category: One Piece
Genre: Aftercare, Angst, BDSM, Blood and Gore, Eventual Sex, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Masturbation, Past Rape/Non-con, Reflection, Romance, Self-Discovery, Sexual Tension, Stream of Consciousness, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2019-05-03 03:41:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 54,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14560110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ni21/pseuds/ni21
Summary: Shōganai - "it can't be helped." It's often used to describe Japanese culture and values. It is a philosophy: If something is out of your control it's better to quickly accept it and move on.It can't be helped that Robin and Zoro are attracted to one another. It's out of their control, will they be able to accept it? Or will their demons keep them apart?What to expect:POV alternates between Robin and Zoro each chapter as they try to accommodate their feelings and desires for one another and Robin's tragic past.Some chapters focus on interaction with other characters you can find in the tags.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my very first fanfic, I’m glad you decided to give it a try! Now this may be my first, but it is by no means new. I’ve had the first little drabble lying around my hard drive since a time where Robin and Zoro had still been part of the main storyline; For those of you who are up to date with the manga, you know that’s been ages. 
> 
> All that's left to do now is a huge thank you to my beta, if you're into Inuyasha fandom check out her main story “taming the unruly” on AO3 @ AKZJ https://archiveofourown.org/works/9423002/chapters/21331634
> 
> Have fun and please leave a review, all opinions are welcome as long as they're reasonable.
> 
> Disclaimer: I quite obviously don't own anything you know from the original.

**1**

 

She wished she could be as happy as the rest of her friends about how little the group had changed over the past two years. But as she sat there on the Sunny’s grassy deck she couldn’t help but worry. The group hadn’t changed, no, but the individuals had. For most of them these changes weren’t overly dramatic and if they were, then only in appearances, like their shipwright. The one who made her worry was their swordsman. All the guys were strong, the difference lay in the nature of that strength. Luffy undoubtedly was the strongest with his rubber-powers, but if he didn’t put any effort in it he was just dangly rubber. From what she understood about Franky’s body it was a rather fine-tuned construction that had to be switched to “battle mode”, no need to worry about accidents. The swordsman, on the other hand, got his strength purely from muscles and while before he had been a boy of lean muscle, he now was more muscle than man. No problem here either if it wasn’t for his short fuse when it came to Sanji or Nami. Sure, the cook could hold his own in their constant fights, but if their swordsman lost control with Nami he would crush her before even realizing. And as said before, their group had not changed and with that neither had the fights between those three.

She worried over nothing, of course. She knew that the fights between him and the cook were rather sparring sessions than actual fights and that meditation was an essential part in the swordsman's training. Who else should Nami use to vent her anger on? No one else on that ship would stand tall in front of her, even if he would eventually back down. Of course he knew that and didn’t take her fits very serious.

In the beginning Robin had actually thought they had a thing for each other. The constant bickering between the two and his reaction towards the cooks flirtations, it was like one of those love-triangles in the sappy books - she refrained to read those of course. But now she knew it was just how the crew worked. So of course there lay no danger in the swordsman's strength, at least not for the crew, but she liked to keep herself alert. She liked to be prepared, even for the oddest of cases.

Now you may be curious as to how she knew that there was nothing going on between the bulky man who just vanished through the hatch into the crow’s-nest and the still fuming redhead. Well, one could say that it had its perks being the quiet one watching from the sidelines. She knew everything about this crew and its members. Maybe even more than her comrades knew about themselves. She knew exactly, that the cook had no serious interest in Nami, just as he had no serious interest in the various prostitutes from the various harbours. He simply treated every woman with all the chivalry his wobbly body could muster as soon as it set eyes on a pretty female. When she’d first found out about him visiting these particular women she had expected to be disgusted by him, for she knew how it felt being sold and treated like a thing instead of a human with her own free will. But to her surprise she didn’t and to surprise her even more, he had opted to talk to her about it. She never asked him how he knew, but he told her he would always know if his actions caused her or any woman any sort of discomfort. He had asked her for forgiveness and not to look down on him, but that he thought most of those women deserved to be treated like a lady every once in a while and that other than the fair maidens in the cities they would know not to expect any more from him other than whatever they had agreed upon beforehand. After all, he wouldn’t want to break any hearts. He had been unusually serious that night. No wobbly extremities and no heart eyes. Although it had only taken her a reassuring smile, meaning it wouldn’t change anything between them, to bring him back to his old lovestruck self. It was a fond memory and in her lonely and dark nights, when her past caught up to her, she silently wished she would have met just one man like Sanji back in the days when the Devil-Child was handed around from one Pirate to the next.

Zoro was quite different. He seemed to have no interest in the other sex whatsoever, or his own for that matter. It made her really curious, not that she would show it, but she tended to have a special eye on him whenever they left the ship. For the most part he wouldn’t even realize that the women complimenting on his swords or his body or asking about that terrible incident that lost him his left eye were hitting on him. Instead, he would just bore them to death talking about his three blades even though there was one particular sword they would have been actually interested in. Robin blushed lightly at that thought and held her copy of “ _the tale of the beginning: culture in the ancient world_ ” just a tad bit higher. She really needed to stop reading those romance novels. Still, though the innuendo was cheap, it was true. She always wondered if he did it intentionally because he was uncomfortable with the situation or if he was just stupid, which she knew for a fact he wasn’t.

She also knew that despite her flaunting all her goods, whenever a discount was in the air, that Nami never ever let any man come too close to her. She would be flirting and casually touching, but as soon as it was him who did the touching she would start the smacking or fleeing, or crying out for Luffy and the others, whichever suited the situation best. The only exceptions were the part of the crew that entered the grand line with her and Chopper (if you could count him). They could casually touch her, carry her, and hug her without having her flinching away. Robin could only assume that it had to do with her past amongst the Arlong-Pirates; they probably had gone through similar things. She envied her a bit.

It had been almost as long since she herself had gotten away from her version of Arlong, Crocodile, and she knew that the straw-hat crew was her family. They loved her just as fiercely as they loathed anybody who would try to hurt her or any other member; and yet she would still feel the slight discomfort whenever anybody came near her. Guilt tugged on her stomach. They had done so many things for her, risked their lives, even going as far as declaring war on the government for her and yet … It seemed Nami was just not as damaged as she was. She was happy for that because she too, loved every one of them.

She smiled in thanks at Sanji as he brought her Coffee and she continued to smile. She was happy here and in time she too wouldn’t flinch. She was on a good way actually. She wouldn’t awake whenever she fell asleep in the crow’s-nest and Zoro would cover her in that old blanked. Now that should be elaborated, because otherwise this could sound just strange enough to see something that wasn’t there.

Sometimes when the memories became too strong for her to even read, she would climb up to his sanctuary. She couldn’t say what made her do that in the first place. They had never really interacted, much less talked, seeing how neither of them was really talkative. It had just seemed right at the moment. It had been shortly after Water 7 and she knew that at first he was on edge about her presence, but he had never asked her to leave. Later he had told her he had thought it was because she just needed to “not be alone after all that happening” and that he didn’t mind her being there, she was very quiet after all. To her his heavy breathing and the rhythmical clinging of his barbells were soothing and after just pretending to read she would actually be able to do it. Sometimes those sounds would even lull her to sleep and then at some point he would cover her in said blanket. But there were times she wouldn’t fall asleep. Sometimes he then would sit down next to her after his workout and ask about her book.

He couldn’t understand how she could be so enthralled by mere words and most of the time he wasn’t really interested in the topic, but it would start a conversation. The first time it had happened it must have been surprising for both of them, a real conversation and a long one at that and yet they opted to repeat it. It was actually funny to think that the quietest persons on the ship could spend hours talking about nothing. She enjoyed those talks very much and even though his vocabulary was a tad bit limited and his view on the world simple – or rather uncomplicated, she had come to realize that this man was not just mosscovered brawn as a certain chef liked to call him. So no, it wasn’t stupidity that kept him from acting on women’s advances in the pubs. Maybe their swordsman really had no interest in things like that. Just like their captain. Yes, the answer lay probably there; he was so fixated on achieving his dream, that everything else was just unwanted distraction. Quite boring to be honest. What wasn’t boring were the hushed voices of the ships navigator and the ever lying sharp shooter. They had to be up to something so she spawned an eye and an ear on the other side of the lawn deck to see what it was all about. It was just in time to see Nami put her New World Log Pose inside a carved wooden box held by Usopp. Interesting.

“Now, that should keep him out”, said the sniper upon closing the box and coating it completely in green goo, which hardened the moment it had covered all of it. Interesting indeed.

“And you are sure it is foolproof? You know Luffy, he will try to find a way,” the navigator pressed.

To demonstrate he started grabbing the coat, only to have it go gooey again “You see? You can’t rip it and you can’t shatter it on the floor, it will just bounce back, just like him. There is no way he can destroy it!”, he stated proudly.

“I can cut it,” stated Zoro from behind the two, standing there as if he had been a part of the conversation all along. It scared them half to death. And after recovering, Namis fist connected with the green haired head as she screeched about doubling his debt if he even tried.

She laughed silently and dispersed her additional eye and ear. So Nami and Usopp were trying to keep Luffy from picking the most dangerous Island, interesting.


	2. A.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoro engages an enemy on the island Nami and Usopp had desperately tried to avoid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... for some reason I imagine Zoro to have quite the foul mouth on him. If you're not into curse words you might want to skip this chapter... Or Zoro's in general, it can only get worse ;)  
> That being said I thank my beta AKZJ and don't own anything you know of the original. Have fun and please leave a review!

The sweat burned in his eye, the bandana no longer enough to keep it at bay. His boots bit into the ground as his muscles screamed for relief. The fuck was this guy made of? Lats and pecs straining he pushed his enemy away, but the tiny man did not even think of giving him enough time for one of his special attacks. His observation Haki not nearly enough to see through the random movements, he cursed as one of the opposing blades cut deeply into his right leg’s quadriceps. Pain shot through his exhausted body, damn near blinding him for a moment. He grit his teeth, should have used Wado from the start, but who would have thought this little shit would turn out to be such a challenge? Broadening his stance he prepared for the next attack, nothing left than to hope for a chance to counter.

His right leg was being sluggish, more so than his exhaustion or even the wound would allow for. Fucking ankle biter had his blades poisoned. He better finish this off quickly. The impact came sooner than he had hoped, driving him back several feet. Fucker could jump. He pushed him back again, leg giving way under their joined weight. Rat laughed at him “Is my little present bothering you, young man? Don't stress yourself too much, look what it did to your leg, you wouldn't want it to do the same thing to your respiratory system now would you?” Bitch.

 _Breathe. Let him talk._ He closed his eye, forced his frantic heart to calm, last thing he needed to do was spreading the shit quicker than necessary. He tuned out the pain in his muscles, the ache in his joints and the poison’s fire slowly traveling up his leg. Thing was useless now. _Breathe_. Guy laughed again. “Ah, by the way, before you get any bad ideas, if I were you I wouldn't even think about cutting your leg off. Now don't take it personally, it's just, I heard that you are prone to rash decisions. It might be that I mixed in some anticoagulant, by accident, of course.” Fucking cunt!

 _Breathe_. **“When did you become this weak? Should I search for another master?”** He huffed tightening his right hand around Shūsui’s hilt. No, this half pint didn't stand a chance, fought dirty, that's all. _Breathe_. His heartbeat slowed. The enemy's chatter drowned out by Shūsui's stabs at his pride and Kitetsu’s cry for blood. What might have scared his predecessors was a calming song to him. _Breathe_. He felt the upturned soil beneath his knuckles, it's softness under his left knee; the humidity pressing down on his bare back. _Breathe_. He smelled the flowers nearby, soothing the burn in his lungs. _Breathe_. He heard the silence of the nature around them and the screaming of its voice. _Breathe_. He saw his enemy.

Small and wiry, unbelievably quick but sloppy. He smirked, this would be over in seconds; or as soon as he could stand up. One final calculated breath and his left leg pushed him up, not a single muscle protesting against the strain; his body, his fucking rules.

“Oh look at that, you can stand? I really thought you've bled out there,” the little man mused. He scoffed, “you’ll know when I'm done, dipshit.”

Intent, bright as day. He fell to the ground. Fingers tightening, arm flexing he set Kitetsu free. Blood showered him before he even hit the ground. Two halves of a body landed right behind him. _Breathe_. He pushed himself up, no time being weak after allowing the cursed blade such freedom. With a flick of his wrist he rid it from the blood, sheathing it and Shūsui in one smooth motion. With one big hand he wiped the foreign blood off his face, effectively spreading it to his green hair, and surveyed his surroundings. Nothing but grass and soil for miles, no trees, no bushes not even a goddamn rock. Where the fuck had the others run off to?

He scoffed, took Wado between his teeth, making a mental note to renew the tsuka-ito as soon as possible. Bending his working leg he drew the other blades. With a low grunt he propelled himself forward, performing the most sloppy Kokujo: Ō Tatsumaki since mastering the technique. The tornado ripped through the ground, catapulting chunks of the grassy earth into the air, tiny pebbles becoming deadly projectiles. There, that should get their attention. “Let them come to me”, he thought as he forced his unresponsive leg into seiza position. There was no fucking way he’d crawl back to the ship so the shit cook could ladle it over his head for the next five years. He draped his sheathed blades over his lap and closed his eye, might as well get some meditation in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed that one. I know last chapter Robin said Zoro's vocabulary was a bit limited, but I still think he is well versed in anatomy and even medicine, because how else could he have survived this long? What do you think? I try to keep them as much in character as possible, did I succeed?
> 
> Next time the crew will be back on the Sunny and things change. See you soon!


	3. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recap (because, yes, it's been a while):  
> 1\. Robin thought about the changes the crew members went through during the 2 year time skip and pondered the different backgrounds and personalities. Most importantly she elaborated on the deep friendship and understanding growing between her and Zoro. In the end she witnessed that Nami and Usopp tried to keep Luffy from choosing the most dangerous island.
> 
> A. Nami and Usopp did not succeed the crew is on the most dangerous island and Zoro is fighting a small enemy with a huge potential for grating on his nerves and playing dirty. He wins but ends up bleeding out in the middle of nowhere.
> 
> AND NOW: Robin wants to visit the roughed up swordsman in the infirmary and has bad timing doing it, will this change their chemistry?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First I'd like to apologise for the long time it took me to upload this tiny bit of fiction. What happened was life and a great creator's update that crashed my laptop. 
> 
> As always thanks to my beta AKZJ and also a huge thank you to all of you who gave me kudos and or subscribed!
> 
> I’m really glad there are actually people reading and apparently enjoying my story, thank you!
> 
> By the way, if you’re only interested in one side of the story I’m alternating POV every chapter Robin’s being marked by numbers, Zoro’s by letters. They don’t cover the same szenes though.

**2**

He was safe, safe abroad the Sunny, in the infirmary and in Chopper’s experienced hands. He was even awake by now, after 10 hours of comatose sleep he had finally woken up. He was fine.

  
She wasn't, she was nervous. Never in her life had she been this nervous. Why? Because the mood was decidedly strange. Something had changed between them, something small and seemingly insignificant and yet big enough to have her giddy like some little schoolgirl. This was an utterly new emotion for her, one she didn’t understand or knew how to handle so, instead of working it out like an adult, she fled. She left the infirmary and a discombobulated swordsman behind her to hide in her and Nami’s room. Her heart beating frantically as she slid down the wooden door, cheeks tinted pink and her lower belly tingling warmly. How was this happening? After all those years she had thought herself incapable of something like that, had thought that her past encounters had robbed her of the natural drive, the natural interest in carnal desires. She had thought, but as it turned out, all it took was a look at her trusted Nakama in a more serious state of undress than usual. Just one look, it wasn’t even sexual, just his pants cut in exactly the wrong place. How was it possible that it flustered her like this? She had not even seen anything, just a tuft of green hair peeking over the destroyed hem of his pants. This was definitely less exposure than when she had grabbed Franky by his jewels, and yet it had her realise his attractiveness with such ferocity that it had knocked the air right out of her lungs.

Dread crept up her spine as she thought about the incident. This was one of the moments she cursed the fact that she had this much knowledge about her Nakama. In this particular instant the knowledge that Roronoa Zoro was an exceptionally observant man, the knowledge that he had seen how flustered she had been and what it entailed. How could they go back to their silent camaraderie when this stood between them? How would he react to her betrayal? After all, she had crossed a line not to be crossed between Nakama. He probably didn't care about her timing, even though, that was particularly bad seeing how he was on the brink of death only hours before she had turned on her heels with a puberlecent blush on her face. What worried her more was how he would act towards a woman, almost 10 years his senior, that got all hot and bothered by his still more than half covered body? He would not be petty. Of course not. Most probably he would just ignore it, like with all the other women that found him attractive. How would she act though? She was mortified. How could she ever look him in the eye again? Could she just forget about it? About the way her body had suddenly lit up, became alive? It had never occurred before, did she even want to forget about it? If he was the only man to ever entice such a terrifyingly intense reaction, did she want to walk away from it? Or should she rather pursue him, find out what else he could make her feel? He could very well be the only one capable. Maybe she would never be able to let anybody else close enough to achieve the same level of trust she shared with this man? Because, if it was trust and mutual respect, unconditional acceptance that was necessary for her to rise above utter frigidity, she knew she would only ever find it within this very crew and yes, maybe only with him.

She didn't know for how long she had been sitting on the floor wallowing in self pity and deep contemplation until Sanji eloquently yelled for the “shithead crew” to eat dinner, followed by the lightest knock and his highest chirps with which he asked if he should bring her meal to her room. Sanji, always the gentleman, if only he knew how close she had come to seeing his friendly rival’s private parts. Reluctantly she got up, her usual mask of nonchalance in place. None of her nakama was privy to the turbulent thoughts clouding her mind; except, of course, for Sanji who always knew when one of his lovely ladies were hurt in any way, and the swordsman who sat there, dressed in new, intact trousers, with his head so close to his plate she felt the need to warn him about suffocation. His head shot up, his eye finding hers in an instant, cheeks tainted with a rosy hue that looked oddly good with his green hair. She should not have said that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this bit, please let me know.  
> From now on I'll try to upload every other Wednesday, so wish me luck!


	4. B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Robin had realised her attraction towards Zoro after she had seen more than she should have in the infirmary and let me tell you, it f***ed with her mind, things are being difficult between her and our favourite swordsman (mine at least). In this chapter you’ll get to know his feelings on the whole situation, also some bonding with Chopper, I hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone,  
> look at that, I managed to upload on time, who would have guessed.
> 
> As always thanks to AKZJ and also a huge thank you to all of you who gave me kudos  
> Please leave a comment to let me know what you think, Have fun

**B**

 

He closed the door to the infirmary firmly behind him, as Chopper should have done two weeks prior, and took off his pants for his hopefully final exam. “Don't give me that look Zoro, you know this would heal way better if you followed my advice of not training,” the little reindeer reprimanded him in an uncharacteristically stern voice.

He grunted in response, what else was there for him to do? It's not like he could meditate. Not without his thoughts doing whatever the fuck they wanted, which most of the time meant to tell his body to react however the fuck it wanted. Damn woman and her innocent rosy cheeks. What right did she have to look that innocent? It wasn't something their kind could afford, especially not if you were a girl alone under monsters by the age of eight. He shouldn't think like that, it wasn't like she had chosen her past. In fact, he hated that fate had been this hard on her. Hated it with the same passion he hated Nami’s past; no one should have to live through things like that.

“Don't look at me like that, it's your own fault, stupid.” Chopper interrupted his dark thoughts, “if you'd have kept from training with your stupid weights this would be healed by now, but you had to rip your stitches one hour after I let you go, one hour!” The little reindeer shouted. The fuck's going on? Had Chopper been talking this entire time? He had his back turned towards him, organizing some instruments on  his desk, his little form trembled, voice unsteady. Fuck. “Chopper, what is-”, his question died on his tongue as his little Nakama finally turned around, thick tears streaming down his face, bottom lip quivering. “Don't act like you care now stupid. You almost died in that field! You didn't care then! When you knew you were poisoned why would you launch such an attack?”

Oh fuck. He knew that his and Luffy’s fights were always stressful for the boy who had to stitch them back together again and again, but to see him lose it like that? That was new. He just sat there, dumb shit that he was, without a clue on how to calm his friend down. He reached for him but the sudden fury emitting from the small doctor had his hand drop right back on the bed. At a total loss he opted to just let him talk, it seemed to do the trick whenever Nami was upset so it couldn't be too bad of a decision. “You're such an idiot, you should have stopped the bleeding, you know how to do that, you're the one helping me in here all the time, why can't you use that information for yourself?” The boy ranted, jumping to him on the bed mid sentence. “Instead you, idiot, decided to start meditating. Are you insane? The man told you he had applied an anticoagulant to his poison, you stupid, stupid Zoro!” He continued, emphasizing his stupidity by poking his little hoove against his chest. “Do you have any idea how terrified we were when you just keeled over? I've never even heard Robin curse before!” And with that the reindeer's fury vanished; back was the boy who had been scared shitless that his friend might have died. Chopper sank back, crying his eyes out on his lap. He hadn't thought about that back then and he hadn't thought about it since he'd been back on the Sunny. Yes, he was an idiot, he had not meant to put his Nakama through that, so he reached again for the boy. This time crushing him against his chest instead of giving up halfway. He apologised for being reckless, even though he wasn't sure the apology reached the boy over his wailing sobs.

This was a mess and with Robin, too.They should probably talk about this situation. He wasn't good at talking. Sure in the crow's nest they sometimes talked for hours, but he was well aware that she was merely humouring him, using simple words he could understand. It was a far cry from the discussions she would have with Chopper or Brook, or Nami or Sanji for that matter. The shit cook’s insults didn't stem from nothing after all. In comparison he was indeed stupid, and in comparison with Robin he was probably dense as a rock. His awareness of his own shortcomings didn't keep him from enjoying their nightly talks. He was pretty sure if Robin minded she simply would not talk at all, just smile her damn smile and continue reading, or pretend to read as she often did.

Fuck this, why was he even worrying about this shit? It wasn't like he had flashed her or anything, what was her goddamn problem?! She couldn't even look at him anymore, wasn't acting like a grown ass woman either, more like one of the girls at port. And not the easy to ignore lusty bitch type, but the blushing maiden type he had no fucking idea how to deal with. For some reason he always felt bad around them. He had exactly 3 ways of dealing with things: 1. Ignore it, 2. Fight it, 3. Tell it to fuck the hell off. None of those things he could do with those girls, and none of those things he could do with Robin. Robin was Nakama, he could not risk hurting her in any way, she was family after all. To be protected at all costs.

“She must feel terrible!”, Chopper whimpered against his chest, cutting his thoughts short.

“Who?”

The little reindeer desperately wiped at his eyes and nose with his hooves, shaking his head before explaining: “Robin, of course, had she given you any sign that she had been watching, you would not have been so ...so hecking reckless and just waited for us to find you! You wouldn't have been half dead when we found you! She feels guilty!”

He almost smiled about the fact that ‘hecking’ was the worst word the boy could think of, but reality crushed his amusement in the bud. Fucking idiot, that's what he was. Of course she wasn't flustered, or shy or whatever the fuck his brain had fantasised. She felt guilty for not protecting him from his own stupidity, that's why she was acting so strange. Innocent his ass. Maybe she was ashamed because even though she always tried to think of every possible outcome, she had not accounted for his reckless behaviour. She should have seen that coming, really, she prided herself in knowing all of them better than they themselves did.

Fuck. It wasn't like he had anything to offer her. Not trying to sell himself short either, he knew well enough that his physique did draw attention of the opposite gender. Their landtime made that painfully obvious, as well as his social inability to handle that attraction, but Robin was something else entirely. For fuck's sake why was he even thinking about things like that? She was Nakama. Why couldn't the damn woman just have told him the moment she had burst into the infirmary two weeks ago, while he had been struggling to stand upright with one hand against the wall for support and one hand trying to keep his pants from slipping off completely? Just open her damn mouth and tell him sorry for not telling him she had watched instead of running like a little girl. Just tell him instead of planting thoughts in his brain that he wasn't supposed to have! Fuck. Maybe they didn’t have to talk, just sit it out, wait for the next landing, and get all that bullshit out of his system with one of the girls offering themselves. Would be for the best. No need to make a fool out of himself, babbling about moods and possible misunderstandings. Just a simple “don’t feel guilty, I’m alive”, a wave, and then off to the next best tavern to choose some woman with good enough built to withstand his strength. Yeah, that sounded like a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this. Just so you know, my beta cracked up at that last part, saying something along the lines of "what kind of monster is he looking for?". What do you think? Maybe Alvida before the devil fruit? Big Mom? Honestly there are more than enough ladies for him to choose in this world, find out how it went in two weeks!


	5. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened so far:  
> Last time Zoro was brooding on a way to get out of this very awkward chemistry between him and Robin and today we’ll see how his plan went and Robin’s reaction and maybe something you guys have been waiting for!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first:  
> Have you read the latest chapter of the manga? It had me fangirling like crazy, I mean how awesome an entrance was that? Finally they are back! Spoiler alert: I’m so much looking forward to Ronin-Zoro/Geisha Robin fanwork!
> 
> Now on to the main part:  
> As always thanks to AKZJ and also a huge thank you to all of you who gave me kudos and just so you know I’m happy for every review I get, thank you very much!  
> And now without any further ado, on to the good stuff (I hope)

**3**

 

She was always thinking, overthinking even, always analyzing everything she laid her eyes upon, anything happening around her, but right now her mind was completely blank. She did not think of how he was walking contradiction, always asleep yet never missing anything happening in his surroundings; always gruff and harsh, yet caring for the younger members of the crew with a fatherly love that belied his youth; always fearless in battle yet driven by the trepidation of losing all of them; his body hard as steel, yet his touches soft like a butterfly’s wing. She just felt his lips on hers, the warmth of his hand hovering tentatively just inches above her hips. Considering how often in the last weeks she had thought about the possibility of this happening it took her entirely too long to respond, to move her lips against his, to wrap her arms around his strong neck and melt against him in a way she wanted to since the day she had fled the infirmary in abstract innocent fear.

It was over as suddenly as it had started, he pulled back, cheeks clearly pink even with the night's shadow shrouding them in comfortable darkness. His hand, that had been too shy to touch her, found its way behind his head in the same way it always did whenever he was unsure about something and tried to compensate for it with light humour or nonchalance. The “sorry,” he muttered was almost too quiet to pick up for her and yet it resonated loudly in her skull “shouldn't have done that”.

Of course he shouldn’t have, they should not, they were Nakama after all. That was a logical explanation, but the tiny voice in the back of her head screamed at her that she was too old for him. He could have anyone he wanted; why should he settle for an old lady? She smiled at him, since he had the decency not to just up and leave. She owed him at least that, “You're right, Zoro-san, if we let ourselves get distracted we might be crushed by the mast, since we wouldn't hear it break,” she said lightly, imitating her usual morbid sense of humour and hoping that he would buy it, or at least accept it for what it was; her try to find back to normalcy, to go back to how things had been before all this. “Nami would triple our debt for sure,” he laughed, strained, but a laugh nonetheless. She raised a fine brow, “Your debt, after all from the last 10 minutes it's you who is on duty, Zoro-san.” He grunted in response and made for the crow’s nest.

With a hand over her thundering heartbeat she surveyed the few people lingering in the harbour, hoping no one had witnessed their display. It wouldn’t do to have such a thing go public.

 

He had been on his way to town when he had seen her. He came over and told her that she should stop feeling guilty, since she was not responsible for his recklessness on the last island and that he hoped everything could get back to normal. God, he was so innocent! It had made her laugh, she had been so afraid of his observation skills that she had not taken into account how naive he seemed to be when it came to women. Getting comfortable in the lookout for her shift she had watched his retreating form getting lost on the main road to town, thinking whether or not she should let him know that the guilt she still felt about that incident was not the reason for her avoiding him. When he had returned to relief her from her duties around midnight, his gait sluggish and his breath heavy with alcohol she had welcomed him at the railing. Unimpressed by the scowl on his face, that had told her his evening had not proceeded as planned, she had decided to use his inebriated state to get rid of the emotional ballast she had carried about for the last weeks; hoping he would just chalk it up to some conversation he had witnessed in the bar or at the docks the next day. “I didn’t feel guilty, swordsman, I just liked what I saw”, she had said and regretted it the moment the words had left her mouth. The clouds had left his eye, his back straightened, all his senses had seemed to zero in on her in an instant and a moment later his lips had been on hers and all her thoughts had gone silent.

 

The next day everything was almost back to normal, apart from that twinge of regret she felt whenever she laid eyes upon him. The day after that she returned to the crow’s nest where she would read to his grunts and the barbells’ chimes, where she would eventually fall asleep and be covered by the rough old blanket when she awoke. Everything was back to normal except she wanted him. She wanted him in a way many men had wanted her in her past but never had she wanted any man in that way and it confused her beyond belief.

He was a boy, in age and experience, compared to her at least. How could she be interested in him? Oddly enough it was not his body that put the cover models of her guilty pleasures to shame, or his gruff persona that had the tavern girls swooning. She had known strong and gruff in her past and had not appreciated it at all, if anything, it should keep her on edge.

Savoring the soft chocolatey taste of her coffee on her tongue she concluded that it had to be that softness; the gentleness with which he held his swords whenever he wasn't fighting, the diligence with which he kept them in shape, protecting them from the corroding salt all around them like they protected him whenever he was surrounded by enemies. Protection. That was another of his qualities. The fierce aura he exudes, when faced with peril, had lesser men cowering in fear but kept his Nakama calm and confident. He calmed them. Be it fear or excitement he had a way of grounding all of them. Even his fights with their chef or navigator helped them to vent unneeded energy or agitation, calming them in the process. Didn't look like that at first glance. She turned a page of her copy of “Poxy Island: last mystery in the north blue” in an attempt to keep up the appearance of not being lost in thought. Of course the others were aware that she sometimes just sat and thought, but when her thoughts circled about her newly found libido she preferred them not knowing anything about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you liked this, in the beginning I was thinking about ending it with this chapter, or better halfway through that chapter. You know, a kind of bittersweet ending, but as it turns out, I'm a sucker for happy ends.  
> Please let me know what you think about this one. I know, the more romance there is in a One Piece fanfic the more the characters get OOC, but I'm doing my best here!


	6. C

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> LAST TIME Zoro wanted to go to town to blow off some steam, which obviously did not work out as he had hoped, when he returns to relieve Robin of her watchduty one thing comes to another they kiss and worry and try to continue like nothing happens. Robin seems rather successful with that, TODAY we’ll see how Zoro is doing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, thank you for staying with me this far, I really enjoy writing all this and your kudos, subscribtions and bookmarks keep me going. It’s nice to write for someone that is not myself^^  
> As always thanks to AKZJ for betaing this story, please check her “taming the unruly” Inu Yasha fanific if you’re into the fandom.
> 
> WARNING: This fanfic is rated for a reason! This chapter contains not only rough and inappropriate language but also sexual content and violence.

**C**

 

Everything was normal. His heart pumped fast but steady, his breath puffing strong and heavy through his lungs, his muscles warm with exertion, his weights a heavy anchor to his straying mind. No thoughts whatsoever, just the unusually low numbers of a normally inhuman amount of reps: 78, 79, 80, 81, 82 “fufufufufu” Oh for fuck’s sake! 1, 2, 3, 4... A soft shuffling finally had him drop his weights, ripping a startled gasp from her throat. His back was turned to her but that didn't stop his mind from vividly imagining her long, creamy legs rubbing against each other to ease a discomfort she probably did not feel, but that his brain thought would make absolute sense, since she was surely watching every movement of his muscled form instead of reading her book. Fuck this! “Taking a shower”, he ground out before swinging himself through the latch and down the ropes. He ignored the stinging in his thigh as he jumped the last two meters to the deck and stomped towards the bath. Yes, fucking shower was exactly what he needed, a freezing one. “Oy, Zoro, you were supposed to clean the deck yesterday, care to explain why jack shit has been done?!”, their navigator screeched after him from the helm. “No”, he said without even missing a step, thankful for his wide pants.

What was going on in that woman's brain? How could she act as if nothing had happened? Did she think he had been too drunk to remember? Maybe she did not want to embarrass him by bringing it up? Or did she really not care, was it a joke to her? She wasn't cruel though. Ah fuck it. If she could ignore it he sure as hell could as well. He didn't train his mind for nothing after all. He should just train while meditating, not reach the meditative state by training. If he could manage to reach that state before she came up, he could probably ignore her soft laugh or the content sigh after a sip of coffee. He wouldn’t see her long, creamy legs exposed by her way too short skirts or her tits almost falling out of her way too tight tops… Oh for fuck’s sake!

The cold spray of the shower hit him full force, raising every hair on his body to the same attention a certain part of his anatomy stood already, and that wasn't exactly impressed by his attempt to calm it down. God damn it, maybe it wasn't the brain between his ears that needed training. With a sigh he leaned his forehead against the cool tiles. Was there even another option than to ignore it? They were Nakama, they were pirates, there was simply no room for complications in their lives, and exposing weaknesses with relationships wasn’t a good idea either. What the hell had he been thinking, kissing her out in the open like that? What if someone had seen? Damn, maybe he did have one too many. But fuck it, she had kissed him back, had she not? And she had been as sober as could be. Fuck, thinking about the softness of her lips and the startled mewl escaping them wasn’t helping his situation. Not at all. When had been the last time a woman had captivated his mind like this? Never! Well Kuina had a firm hold on him, but it wasn’t like this, it wasn’t sexual. Tashigi? No, back then she had been a nuisance, now after punk hazard there was mutual respect and even though yes, he had noticed that she had become quite attractive and yes, her way with Shigure certainly appealed to him, that was nowhere near to his current situation. All he had ever had before were flings that lasted weeks at the most and more often than not for only a night. This...this infatuation with Robin was uncharacteristic to say the least. Not that his body cared about that. 

With another sigh he looked down on himself. When had been the last time he had even jerked off? This hadn’t been a fucking issue since he had become part of the crew, too much was going on, his goal too close to waste time and effort on anything but training, and now this. His dick, staring him in the eye, weeping tears of mockery at the mere thought of the damn woman! He gripped himself tightly, noticing for the first time, that his hand was way too rough to imitate anything even barely resembling the real deal. The way her skin looked it had to feel like petals, not like sandpaper. Could he even touch her without irritating her skin? Shit, how the fuck could he get rid of his persistent hardon when even now his thoughts were scattered? He had half a mind of going back up to his gym and taking her then and there, consequences be damned. Host her up against the wall, have her endless legs snug around his waist, thrusting himself between them. Her hot, wet cunt welcoming him with delicious tightness and her breathless gasps reassuring him that she wanted it just as much as he did. His right hand gripped the showerwall as his breathing grew more erratic with every stroke along his shaft. His head all the way in his neck, the muscles in his lower abdomen tightening as he almost felt her enormous tits pressing against his pecs. Almost. Almost there. His eyes clenched shut, her nails scratching along his back as she vanished in a sudden explosion that rocked the Sunny enough to throw him off his feet. Fucking shit! Cursing under his breath he scrambled to a standing position, the trampling of feet on deck and the sudden shouting told him that ignoring this situation was not an option. At least his cock shared that opinion. He didn’t bother with drying off, just pulled his pants over his hips and cursed again as he realized that his katana were still up in the crows nest.

Deck was crawling with marines, the fuck had they come from all of a sudden? A prickling sensation on his chest alerted him just in time to see a pale arm forming out of nothingness, his eye followed the pointing digit to see his swords leaning right next to the door to the bathhouse.  _ Fucking love that woman for her foresight. _ He grabbed them, not pondering further about the thought that had just surfaced and threw himself right into chaos. Hell yeah, that was exactly what he had needed. His blades sang with excitement, Kitetsu purring with bloodlust while Shuusui hummed with superiority. Effortlessly they cut through steel and flesh, leaving tendons and bone intact with surgical precision. Nothing a good doctor couldn’t fix but enough to focus his mind and to appease his katana. His muscles flexed, his swords danced, his heartbeat thundered in his ears. His world stopped as a gunshot pierced the silence of his mind. Luffy went down, his rubber arm snapping back to his boneless body on the floor. Keiroseki. Fuck. Sanji was there, good. His haki swept over the ship, Chopper was with Nami, Robin had Franky and Brook was close to Usopp, even better. No devilfruit was alone, no one could be shot down without having someone to keep them safe and he was free. Kitetsu, drunk on the fear of their enemies, pushed him across deck, ridding the grass of those that didn’t belong here. His former care for the marines’ futures gone, Shuusui and Kitetsu no longer differentiating between flesh or bone. Vaguely he noticed that his Nakama had stopped fighting as he followed the last few marines left. Cowards, first shooting a man in the back and then jumping ship like that. With a flick of his wrists he cleaned his blades, Nami stood in front of him and he knew she wanted to reprimand him for skipping on watchduty, but she just stared him. Mouth slightly agape, eyes wide and if he didn’t know any better he’d have said she was afraid of him. “What’s up with you lately?”, she asked quietly instead. What’s up with him? He wanted to discard her question, tell her that nothing was wrong but as he looked across the lawn deck, across blood and guts, separated limbs and heads his answer got caught in his throat. “Fuck”, he said instead, searching for Chopper, this carnage wasn’t something for the boy to see. 

On his left a match flicked to life, and after a long drag from the freshly lit cigarette Sanji enlightened him: “He’s with Luffy in his office. They used the chance when you started your rampage.” Another drag and the chef turned towards the kitchen. “Bet he’s hungry when he comes out of surgery, I’ll prepare something. In the meantime, get your shit together, Marimo, it’s not like you to just go along with your sword’s whims.” Shitcook was right. It wasn’t like him no matter if his captain was hurt, he was supposed to be in control of his blades, not the other way round. He had seriously fucked up. Nami’s sure hand on his shoulder made him turn “You better clean this mess up before Chopper is finished with the surgery,” she said and with a soft squeeze she added, “You know if you want to talk about something, we are all here.” With one last smile she followed Sanji, leaving him alone. Fuck. This crew was amazing. People feared him, called him a monster, and not without any basis as he had to admit looking at the slaughter he had presented, and what did they do? Tell him they were there for him and apparently - seeing how Franky just exited the supply closet - hand him the mop. He scoffed, Nami would get her will after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you think? Poor guy just can't catch a break and what will happen now? How will Robin react? You'll find out in 2 weeks! See you then!


	7. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Zoro had a tough day, I guess, this time we'll see how Robin is doing since both, the kiss and the carnage.  
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay! I was on a short 5 day trip and considered finishing the chapter early but figured what could possibly go wrong? Few things actually: my internet provider messed up and I got a cold from hell. So instead of finishing up the chapter and enjoying the summer I was sipping tea and wearing scarfs at 35°C.  
> Thanks so much for all your comments and kudos, they motivate me a lot! Also thank you AKZJ for betaing and putting up with my cranky self, even though you have a lot on your plate right now! Please check out her fanfic if you’re into Inu Yasha!

She sighed as she wiped the cold sweat from her brow. Another dream. It had not been a nightmare per se, as she had at no point been afraid, it was just that the pictures were so gruesome they were unsettling, even for her. His fights were always of the bloody type but rarely did they entail guts splattered across the ground or severed limbs or heads. In fact, his fights were much cleaner than many of the others. Severing important muscle groups with a clean cut disabled his enemies instantly, but those injuries would also heal easily as opposed to heavy head trauma or crushed bone and nerves sustained through kicks and flying fists let alone the havoc electrocution would wreck upon a human body. She herself was prone to bringing her enemies to the brink of suffocation or dislocating joints and she was not naive enough to believe that none of her victims were suffering permanent damage. There was no other way to describe it, their swordsman had snapped that day, something had preoccupied his mind enough for his cursed blade to gain the upper hand and he knew it. In the two weeks since the incident his weights in the crow's nest had gathered dust, instead of exercising his body with an absurd amount of reps he would just sit cross-legged anywhere on the ship in deep meditation, the cursed blade either held in front of him or laying across his legs. He never reacted to anything but either Nami giving him chores or Sanji calling for meals. During mealtime he was even less vocal than before, if that was possible. Everybody noticed and everybody worried, so much so that their captain wouldn't even attempt to steal his food. She did not worry. She felt guilty. 

In the weeks before the incident she had noticed a change in his demeanor, he was more skittish, his concentration during training would break easily and he was grumpier than usual. She knew why. She knew because their kiss had distracted her just as much as him, although she didn't let it show as much. What she didn't know was why it brought such a change in behaviour. Was it because he regretted kissing her, because he never would have had he not been severely impaired by an unhealthy amount of sake? Was it because he felt guilty for straining their relationship as Nakama? Was it because he had never intended for it to be her but some skimpy fangirl that would usually try to catch his attention whenever he went out? Maybe he just hadn't found one this time and redirected his interests to the next best thing? No, of course not. She knew as much as anyone else on the Sunny that he never showed even the slightest interest in those women. Why had he kissed her? Something like this was completely out of character for him. Was that why he was bothered by it so much? That he himself didn't know what had moved him to such an action, to stray from his set path in such a way? Maybe he just didn't know what to do now? Judging from the way he handled the girls in the taverns and bars this could very well have been his first kiss all together, maybe he just didn't know the protocol? Did she know the protocol? She didn't, because in a way it had been her first kiss. Shaking her head she got up, her erratic heartbeat should have calmed down by now, had it even been like this when she had woken up? Carefully she snuck out of the room, the last thing she wanted to do was to explain her troubles to Nami and was not surprised to see the reason for her sleepless night sitting on the lawndeck’s railing, the cursed blade tightly gripped in his left hand. She took a moment to appreciate his balance, knowing that every wave could toss him overboard or skewer him on his sword before she continued to the kitchen. Glass of water in front of her she knew that yes it had been her first kiss. The first that had not been a means to an end or unwanted attention if one was into euphemism. 

Nice, she had not even thought it possible. It begged for another question though: was she satisfied with just her first kiss? She wasn't if her recent escapades with the showerhead were any indication. She had tried to go back to normal, she really had, however now that she had noticed how attractive their residing swordsman was, reading next to him during his workouts had become exceedingly difficult. 

Black letters spread across paper seemed to pale against the bronzed skin stretching above taunt muscle; the colourful worlds the novelists had painted decades ago, lifeless in comparison to the vales and hills of his body. Her eyes would stop skimming the pages to follow the beads of sweat running, dripping from one ridge to the next. The ancient mysteries of the world would make room for the conundrum of whether or not he would taste the same way he smelled. God, she wanted to taste this delicious body, run her hands all over that chiseled physique and feast on him like he was one of Sanji’s devine meals and finally to know if he would make the very same delectable grunts between her legs as he did beneath his barbells. She shifted her legs to quell the ache between her thighs, much like she would in the crow's nest, trying to regain her focus and hoping that the skirt she had chosen would not betray the wetness of her arousal. Now it didn't matter, she was alone in the kitchen in the dead of night. No one would know if she were to make use of the hand that had subconsciously made its way into her black lace panties while she had been reminiscent of her hours in the crow's nest prior to the fateful incident. In just 4 hours they would be eating and laughing at this table never knowing that she would have been pleasuring herself shamelessly in this very spot mere hours ago. She'd have to be quiet though, because what if Zoro we're to hear her... She retracted her hand and with a shake of her head and got up to wash her hands, this was getting out of hand. It was bad enough that she seemingly couldn't go a day without touching herself lest she lost any and all concentration and sanity, she didn't need to add an exhibitionism kink to that. As she turned off the faucet to dry her hands another possibility came to her. If he had no interest in women because he was only interested in his dream, as was her working theory, did he even masturbate? Assuming, against all odds, that the kiss distracted him because he was unexpectedly, suddenly interested in more than only his dream and that he felt just as wound up about it as she did, did he masturbate to take the edge off? Or was such an act beneath him? Another distraction? No wonder he had lost it that day. She couldn't really picture him venting his frustration in a similar fashion as she had for the past weeks, maybe it had just been too much? Never mind, she conceded with a blush, she could very much picture the man standing under the shower, water caressing his strained muscles as his large hand pumped his even la- no. No. This could not go on like this. Taking a deep breath she left the kitchen. Her bare feet carried her swiftly down the stairs and over their grassy deck. She did not care that she wore only a flimsy nightgown when she stopped in front of him, because if he was interested he would see much more of her very soon and if he wasn't, well then he wasn't and consequently wouldn't care about her state of almost undress. He did not react to her, not even a change in his breathing, but she knew that he was aware of his surroundings at all times. It took her another four to nine deep breaths to finally say what she had come out to say, but when she did her voice was steady and sweet, taking an example of Nami whenever she wrapped some unexpectant merchant around her little finger. “So, Kenshi-san~, do you want to sleep with me?” 

His eye opened, wide, the concentrated frown on his lips dissipated as they parted when his jaw went slack. For a moment he just stared at her, then he swallowed and stared some more. He closed his mouth and opened it only to close it again while the pale moonlight did nothing to hide the tremendous blush spreading over his cheeks and nose. He was adorable, but - knuckles white as her fingers tied with apprehension - she really wished he would start talking already, or acting. He did, both, just as she was about to scold herself for asking her Nakama such a stupid question and just as another wave hit the ship, he opened his mouth to a feral cry, his left hand releasing Kitetsu to clutter onto deck, as his right flailed unceremoniously grabbing at the air for support before falling backwards into the sea. Not quite the reaction she had hoped for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this, again sorry for the delay, since I'm still not fully back to health I won't make any promises on the next chapter but if you're lucky and subscribed you might find it up a bit earlier than my bi weekly schedule.


	8. D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Robin decided after yet another sleepless night that things couldn’t possibly continue the way they were. For his sake, for her sake, for their crews sake. After some naughty thoughts she took matters in her own hand and Zoro went swimming. How does he feel about that? How does he cope with it? The answer is right here, have fun!  
> Also, beware of crass language, this is a Zoro chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, I’m so sorry that it took me so long to update, I’ve been done with this chapter for quite a while but things kept popping up, so….sorry and thank you so much for your continued support!
> 
> Speaking of support, if you are looking for another amazing One piece fic (yes I'm indeed also shamelessly praising my own) with Zoro as a main character check out Rexica's Disinhibition! You won't regret it, there's Ninja, fluff and much badassery for you to enjoy!

Just what the fuck was that woman's game? Blindsiding him like that. Had he been so obvious that she had felt the need to call him out? Before the incident, maybe, but now? He didn't even acknowledge her... Or was that what gave him away? He didn't acknowledge anyone, what the fuck? Maybe that was it, getting a rise out of him for not participating in the crews’ usual shenanigans. Even Luffy had accepted that though, why not her? He shook his head, no use wrecking his brain about it, that woman worked in mysterious ways. To this day he wasn't really sure why she put up with him in the crow's nest, explicitly finding him to spend time in his presence, to talk to him. It had started with nightmares but now  whenever she fell asleep up there she would sleep like a baby. He was strong, he calmed the weaker members of the crew, he knew that, if he didn't infuriate them that was. At least that was how it used to be. Wasn't sure how it was now.

Nami hadn't changed towards him, neither had Chopper...but that was probably because they had shielded him from what had happened. Usopp treaded carefully around him though. Shit, he really had fucked up that day. And not just with the crew; Kitetsu was all teenage brat, openly rebelling against his hold while old man Shuusui watched and mocked him for being just that. Fuck. Wado was the only one still on his side, its weight at his hip a constant reassurance. How could he have let it come this far? In his current state he had a mind of siding with the black blade, he was nothing but an impulsive, insecure brat. How could that woman have such a hold on him? How could she reduce him to a blushing, stammering mess with just a smile? Fuck, he had it bad. How had his former mistrust evolved to… to that? It was true, he really was impulsive but god damn it he seriously needed a plan to get out of this mess. Maybe he should try talking to her again? Bullshit, see how well that had played out...idiot had kissed her. She had returned it though, a teeny tiny voice added in his head. And she liked what she had seen...or was that just to tease him? Fucking shit! But if she really… they, or rather he could get it out of his system? A quick intermezzo (where had that come from?) In the crow's nest or town? Fuck he was getting hard already. She probably wasn't that kind of woman though. Just like Nami, flaunting tits and ass wherever they went and never caring what it did to those around them. Fucking bastard is what he was. He knew full well why they did what they did and why they kept men at arms length. Robin hadn't kept him away though, she had pulled him in. Gods, he was fucked. He put the oiled rag away scrutinising the shiny blade. Good thing he kept his kit well stocked, he wouldn't want another of his blades to rust away, damn saltwater. And damn that woman for making him lose balance in the first place.

Not that kind of woman… was he that kind of man? According to his past experiences, yes he was and yet thinking about it with Robin… he wouldn't be able to do that, not because she was Nakama either, but better not delve into that. Who knew what would be revealed then, probably something that would seriously fuck up life on the Sunny and the dynamic of the crew. Fuck it all, he needed a beer, he decided and put his cleaning utensils away. With all of his rebellious swords secured at his hip he stomped to Nami who was handing out their individual allowances for the evening. Fuck how much he hated it being treated like a kid with pocket money, though he had to admit that it might have happened that he and Luffy had burned all of their money in one night some time before. More than three years ago though, at a time when Arlong still had his clutches deep inside anything she had held even remotely dear. Yes, maybe it had been an asshole move to use all of the money she had needed so much for booze and meat but fuck her, the woman should have just told them about it! He stared at the oddly generous handout. “I don't need that much,” he grunted and handed half of it back. For fuck’s sake he was whipped…So much for hating her managing his money. She gave it back to him, cheeky grin etched into her features. “I think you do, treat yourself to a room or something, you need some serious relaxing.” He stared at her, mouth slightly agape. A blush creeping up his ears as he pondered whether or not the woman he deemed his little sister had just suggested he go fuck someone to cool off. She just stood there grinning, her eyes shining in a way that had him believe she knew more than she let on. It was his cue to leave, he would not stand there and be roped into a discussion about his feelings and to ultimately pay her billions of bery of hush money. No, he would go find a tavern and not search for a woman to fuck, because the last time he had attempted to do so he had ended up comparing each and every woman present with Robin and each and every woman he had found lacking. He wouldn’t go down that road again.

Speaking of road, he had not been aware that the island’s forrest stretched through the town, what an odd way to plan a settlement. When he finally found the elusive tavern - what’s with all the fancy words all of a sudden?- she was there, sitting in the far corner, fancy drink in front of her and ancient book in her hands. For fuck’s sake, why? And how had she arrived before him? She had still been reading on deck when he had left, damn those devil fruit powers. With a low grumbling he sat down at the raunchy bar and ordered a beer, ignoring the woman that somehow had become a friend and was now on the best way to become the bane of his existence altogether. Instead he focused on the stains millions of glasses had etched into the counter, with their contents swapping over it and softening the wooden surface, just like his own beer that lost about a third of its volume as it was smacked down in front of him. It tasted stale and empty, just as expected from this type of place, so what the fuck was she doing here?

He ordered a bottle of sake next, the whole one, seal intact, lest the tenant dare to dilute it as well. It was the good stuff, warm and smooth as it ran down his throat, just what he needed. Staring into the half blind mirror across from him he slowed down, he did have enough money to buy more bottles, but who knew how many this dump had in stock. Why did so many bars have mirrors behind the counter? As he watched the flimsy thing next to him rub up on the next tennant, clearly telling him all he wanted to hear as she quickly relieved him of even his last bery he concluded mirrors weren’t all bad and ordered another bottle. Just as it was sat down in front of him the girl spoke: “You sure can take a lot, big guy.” He scoffed in reply, “Don’t even think about stealing from me, girl.” For a quick moment her eyes widened, but he had to give her credit for hiding it just as quickly as it had come. “Who said I wanted to steal from you, maybe I'm in for something else?”, she pouted. Cute. “That ugly fuck’s beries in your pocket say that.” She grinned at that, reaching behind the counter to grab herself a glass and poured herself some of his sake. “Emphasis on the ‘ugly fuck’, you on the other hand aren’t ugly,” she said emptying the glass in one gulp before she added: “Though I wouldn’t mind the fuck.”

He laughed at that and poured her another glass, amusing little girl. “Unfortunately sake is the only thing you’ll get from me, you should get lost, before your ugly fuck comes to his senses and orders another glass of dishwater.” They clinked glass to bottle and she left surprisingly without trying to steal his pouch. It took just one more swig of his bottle before the seat next to him was occupied again and he didn’t have to look to know who it was, the earthy smell of coffee preceded her. “That one was cute,” she remarked before wrapping her lips around the thick straw of her drink and he watched her cheeks hollow as she sucked the clear liquid into her mouth. Fuck. Instead of clearing the counter and taking her then and there he nodded, “she was,” he answered, eye fixed on the mirror across from him. “I wonder what it takes for you to accept their offers,” she mused, “do you maybe prefer lighter hair? She was quite short do you like them taller?”

He scoffed at her questions. The girl had maybe been 16, if even that. “I prefer them well out of puberty is what I prefer, she was still a child, Robin. And probably like Nami didn’t have a choice in this life.” A soft “Oh” escaped her lips and for a moment she was silent, he chanced a glance towards her, at least she had stopped sucking on that damn straw. Instead her brow was creased in contemplation, probably mulling over her next words. When they came they weren’t what he had expected: “You know that Sanji visits brothels when we land? He says the women deserve to be treated like princesses now and again. Maybe that was what she had been searching in you, you are more attractive than that guy” So she had been eavesdropping, hadn’t she. Curious wench. “Well then she was shit out of luck, I’m not the damn ero cook”, he muttered and downed the rest of his sake. Of course Robin would prefer to be treated like that, deserved it too and he sure as hell wouldn’t be able to give it to her. The sooner he could rid himself from this fucking attachment the better, maybe he should have fucked the girl after all. The slurping with which she sucked the last drops of liquid from the glass pulled him out of his thoughts. “Since when are you drinking cocktails anyway? Pictured you more like the wine type."

She looked up at him, blue eyes wide and shining, cheeks a rosy hue - why was she blushing? - a shy smile on her lips. “Since I'll need a lot more courage than wine can provide me with.” A lot more courage, Hu? Just what the fuck was that woman's game? A grin tugged on his lips as one eyebrow rose in silent inquiry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh, how exciting, I wonder what might happen next. Just kidding, I know exactly what’s going to come because the next chapter is already finished and just needs my amazing beta’s stamp of approval. Check out her story “taming the unruly” if you’re into Inuyasha!


	9. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Zoro got drunk at a bar and Robin approached him with a plan. What plan that is you want to know? Well here it is! This chapter takes place about 15 minutes after the last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, would you look at that, an update and a whole week early to boot!  
> I'd like to thank all of you for your continued support and to answer LuNarayn's question from fanfiction, because maybe that's interesting for all of you. As you might be able to guess from the name it's about whether or not I could add a Luffy/Nami pairing. Unfortunately I can't picture Luffy as anything but asexual and or too immature to have any interest in relationships that exceed friendship. I'm sorry and hope you can enjoy this fic regardless! Since I'm already talking about requests, if there are situations that you want to read between Zoro and Robin or them and the rest of the straw hats, shoot, since this doesn't really follow a narrative apart from their progressing relationship I might be able to squeeze some in… if I like the idea that is^^’

There it was again, that adorable play of pink and green, she would never tire of this. She just wished it wasn't there, not now, in this very instant at least. In this moment she would have preferred the light grey of his eye darkened by the lust that had all but dissipated seconds ago. Now the callused hand that had evoked that delicious tingle between her legs was rubbing the back of his head, instead of her breast, as he stared at everything that wasn't her. “Are you alright?”, She asked him, eyes fixed on his frowning lips as she absent-mindedly pulled her vest back to cover her bare breasts, suddenly self conscious. He grunted in response, still very much interested in the busy streets outside the room's dull window. “Are you a virgin?” She asked with the same directness she was prone to exhibit in all the wrong situations. “No”. He did not look at her, and her insecurities came back to her tenfold. “I'm too old.” As his head snapped back in her direction she realised that the nagging voice of doubt that had nestled in the back of her head for weeks, had spoken aloud.

 

His good eye was wide, eyebrows raised, before he drew them down in a frown. “What the fuck, Robin?” The honesty of his outburst warmed her heart and yet it was not enough to assuage her fears. “Would you prefer me younger?”, she asked, voice as calm as always, expertly hiding how she broke on the inside as in a swirl of petals, a clone appeared. Every bit like her but 10 years her junior, lacking the tiny creases around her eyes, skin a tad more rosy, breasts a fraction firmer. It was the body that had drawn much unwanted attention in the past. If that was how he wanted her, how much different from all the others was he? 

 

Her clone scooted over to him, kneading his strong shoulders with deft fingers, pressing her bust in his back. He was frozen in place, his eye wide as her clone swung one dainty leg over his lap, rubbing her center boldly against his, just like they had wanted her to all those years ago. She winced as she felt his hands on her clones waist. “That's it,” her clone breathed in his adorned ear, “I am her and she is I, whatever you make me feel she feels as well”.

 

With her arms around her knees she watched her young self gyrate on the man she wanted, the man that had become so dear to her that even though she did indeed feel the fabric of his rough trousers at her core and his gentle grip on her hips, she felt betrayed. Her clone smiled an encouraging smile at him while she sat there and fought the wetness of her eyes. Her clone’s hips stopped moving, and the pressure on her own hips told her it was him holding her just hard enough to keep her in place and when he turned to her any surprise or confusion she had enticed by her actions was gone. The look in his eye was stern, the line of his mouth drawn to a frown. “No, Robin.”  In an explosion of rose petals her young clone disappeared, letting his hands almost clap as the resistance between them vanished and her heart leap in relief. 

 

“The fuck is wrong with you woman? Are you a virgin?” He asked, throwing her earlier question right back at her. An uncharacteristic scoff escaped her lips. Virgin, he knew about her past, surly he was not naive enough to think that it had left her virginity intact. He chuckled at her reaction, shaking his head he leaned back against the dark wood of the headboard. He was not flustered anymore instead strangely calm seeing what an utter failure their most recent encounter had turned out to be, much worse than him falling into the sea. He sighed, “Just what's with all that insecurity, Robin? You know, you're the one telling me you're too old for me, how about you act like a grown woman for a change?” For a second she lost control over her face. She had just been scolded like a child by the very man who was the reason for said insecurities. “Do you think I would have followed you here if I didn't want you?” He asked with that direct honesty she treasured in him, “and I mean you Robin, not a clone you altered beyond perfection,” he added almost as in an afterthought, probably not even realizing the compliment hidden in the statement. She didn't know what to say, this had been a bad idea from the start. Just what on earth had possessed her that she'd rent a room in the shady tavern he had chosen for this evening. She had wanted to talk, to tell him that she could not continue like this anymore, that she was dying everyday she saw him, without being able to actually be with him. It wasn't quite like that, of course, that was a passage from “ _ a passionate embrace _ ”, but god was she bad at feelings. He had called her out, of course, laughed at her for the overly flowery language: “from one of your romance books, hu?”  Until that moment she had not realised that he knew about them, but it should not have surprised her, he was perceptive after all.

 

She hugged her knees again. “Then why did you stop?” For the few minutes, after he had laughed at her, while he had devoured her mouth and all but thrown her on the possibly moldy mattress -  _ likely to give them fleas  _ \- and before he had retreated to the far end of the bed she had been in heaven. Now they weren’t even back where they had started, she was on the one side, he on the other, she filled with apprehension, he with worry. The rosy tinge was back as well and the hand behind his head. However he did not turn away from her, he held her gaze when he spoke “I may not be a virgin but it's been a long time. I'm alot stronger now” 

 

“How long?”, She asked, not even sure she wanted to know. He shrugged “don't know, a year? One and a half?”

She raised a brow response. “The ghost girl?” It was no secret after all that he would never have been able to return to Sabaody without the help of their former adversary from thriller bark. He grunted “Yeah, fucking disaster. Didn't find it cute at all that I lost control over my strength in the end.” And almost inaudible he grumbled: “had me wish for rebirth as a flea two weeks straight.”

She laughed at that, surprising the both of them. She would have thought her reaction to be bitter, him having chosen a woman that much younger than her, but his brutal honesty on the matter had her, for some reason, feel much lighter than she had since the situation had started to go askew. It was a genuine laugh, not her usual fufufu but an honest to , all out laugh, she laughed until her belly hurt, all the tension leaving her body as she slowly started to calm down, only to start again when she saw him pouting at her reaction. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I had to picture it,” she tried to appease him before straightening again. She leaned back, propping herself up with her arms. “All this then, because you were afraid to accidentally hurt me? I can deal with a little pain, you know?”

 

“I know you can, but you shouldn't have to.” he answered with a frown. Just how on earth was he this much better at this than she was? She countered it with a smile: ”You don't understand, I'm used to it and if it's someone I actually like for a change, I'm sure it wouldn't matter.” She should have known that this would not calm him down. His frown deepened, his muscles tensed and if she didn't know him as well as she did she would have fled the room by now. “I do understand and if you pointed me in the right direction I'd kill every last one of them,” he growled. “Fufufu, the right direction? You'd only kill innocent bystanders, kenshi-san,” she teased, expertly dispersing his anger and conjuring the rosy cheeks in one go. “Fuck you, Robin.” he grumbled, crossing this thick arms over his chest, pouting again. Fufufufufu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope I haven't lost all you you with that, I promise they will have sex eventually but as I said in the fic's description, they do have their demons to fight.  
> As last time please check out Rexica's wonderful one piece fic ‘Disinhibition’ (I mean come on, it has Ninja and badass Zoro!) and my amazing beta's Inuyasha fic ‘taming the unruly’ where a young African American girl has to put up with a jealous demon lord and Japanese people who have never ever come across a human with such odd colouring. Oh, Naraku is there, too and let me warn you apart from the fluff this fic is not for the faint of heart (Neither is mine or Rexica's now that I think about it)  
> Till hopefully next time!


	10. E - The morning after nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’ve probably been wondering how the two will continue after their… not quite successful attempt at a hook-up. Here is the answer, have fun!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! To all of you that haven’t dropped the fic in frustration with the last chapter, thank you! I hope you keep enjoying it!
> 
> I’d like to thank my beta and recommend Rexica’s One Piece fanfic “Disinhibition” and the Inu Yasha fic “taming the unruly” by AKZJ / Alyah727. Both are completely different from one another but an amazing read (if you’re into the fandom and or the genre, of course) and talking with both authors helps me alot with this fanfic and my other project!

What the fuck was he supposed to do now? Staring at the stained ceiling he concentrated on not reacting to the soft puffs of breath tickling his collarbone. He couldn't just leave like he had done with all the hook-ups, he'd meet her again in two to three hours on the ship - depending on how much the forest barrier would change his path… damn was he sick of enchanted Forests.

Also, they hadn't even really hooked up… maybe there was a different protocol here? He wouldn't know, this was the very first time he had actually just slept with a woman... in the sense of sleeping, side by side. Maybe he should buy her breakfast? This seemed more like a relationship kind of situation after all. Does one eat breakfast together after sleeping? Whatever, the fuck would be the big deal anyways, why was he worrying about breakfast? They ate breakfast together all the fucking time! This was different though, wasn’t it?

Hell it was way different. She wanted him, she'd showed him this much with renting the room, reciting that cheesy line, and bearing her glorious tits at him. She liked him too, had actually told him. Gods if he got a hold of one of those goddamn motherfuckers she had referred to, he'd rip them limb from limb and feed them their own fucking balls for what they had done to her! _Deep breath, you don't want to crush her in fury, this woman is delicate_ . Wasn't that the only fucking reason he hadn't taken her up on her offer, that he was afraid to accidentally hurt her? _Way to go, idiot,_ almost broke her ribs by crushing her against him. How had they ended up tangled like this anyways? And how the fuck had his refusing her - for damn good reasons he might add - ended in her drowning in insecurities? Robin, for fuck's sake, the woman was the fucking incarnation of a wet dream and she thought she was too old and unattractive… and for him of all people! If she wasn't so damn frail he would have fucked her through the walls of this shithole even if she were 30 years his senior instead of 10. Hopefully telling her about Perona had helped a bit with that issue… surely Robin knew that she was 4 years older than him, didn't she? The woman knew basically everything, she had to know Perona's age she had been an enemy after all, she had to have read up on her!

God damn it! He couldn't handle this sort of shit, that was all Sanji's domain. How had he gotten tangled up in this mess? Same way he had ended up tangled in Robin's endlessly long legs, he supposed. Should have worn a fucking shirt under his robe yesterday, but how the fuck could he have known that he would wake up with a pale, dainty hand caressing his rough chest?

Fuck, was she awake? He hadn't even figured out how to react! No, her steady breaths still puffed against his clavicle. Woman had a damn deep sleep for someone being terrorised by nightmares. Hadn't had nightmares for quite some time… maybe it was him? _Yeah, ya wish._ He really did. Could this even work? They were wanted criminals, the marines would jump on a weakness like this. Bullshit. With the crew, their friendship and love for each other had always made them stronger, not weaker. Why would it be different for another kind of love? Love… she had said she liked him and he was thinking love. Had she said it though? Did it count  as an admission if she said it like that? ‘Go ahead and hurt me since I don't hate you’? Just how fucking desperate was he if he took such a statement as an admission?

Of course she loved him as family. As a younger brother or even son, since she was so hung up on that ridiculous age gap. And of course she loved him as a friend. Maybe a friend she wanted to fuck? Maybe? Obviously! Why else would she have rented that damn room?

He didn't want her like that, he knew, and with her incredibly soft body pressing against him he could admit that it wasn't because she was Nakama and all that bullshit. Fuck peaceful life on the Sunny, he wanted her and he wanted her whole, he didn't do half assed. He was an all or nothing kind of man.

He was First mate of Monkey D Luffy, future king of the pirates, not prince or whatever came second to a king; He was Roronoa Zoro, who would defeat Dracule 'Hawkeye' Mihawk and become the world's greatest swordsman, not the second best; and he would have Nico Robin as his woman, not only as his friend. She probably needed time for that, she did have issues after all, but that was alright, all his goals were long term and he could be patient if the result was worth the wait and the woman stirring in his arms definitely was!

Fuck, she was stirring? Fucking fuck, what the hell was he supposed to do now? Dash? No… Breakfast? Maybe…? Probably should go with breakfast since, yes, it did seem like the relationship thing to do and he did want that, didn't he? Yes he did, probably. How do you treat a woman if you want a long term thing? You don't fuck right away, you treat a lady to dinner and what the fuck other things curly brow rambled off whenever he got in one of those moods. Good. That would give him plenty time to practice restraint. Now what should he say? Something nice, reassure her that he did find her attractive despite her age - no! No mention of age at all! Under no fucking circumstances! _You fucking stupid_? Tell her that he would …. No, can't be too obvious, wouldn't want to scare her off… but being nice? He didn't do nice. He could try being pleasant? Was it too early to drink? He definitely needed a drink! Okay, be pleasant, tell her good morning and suggest to go for breakfast, that easy. Her lashes fluttered against his skin and she stilled. A soft gasp and her hand retreated from his chest, her legs untangled from his. Fuck, he missed her heat already.

“I'm sorry, I…,” she started, looking at him with her big blue eyes, even wider now, like a startled deer. “I didn't think you'd still be here, to be honest.” She smiled an adorably shy smile at him and he had no fucking idea how to react to that. What was it? Be breakfast? Shit, he'd like her to be his breakfast with that blush of hers. Not helping! He opened his mouth to say something, no fucking idea what, closed it again. Stared at her, her tangled hair; her eyes, puffy and smeared from a good night's sleep; the tiny wrinkles around them, proof of how much her life had improved since she had met them; she was beautiful. How could this woman not stand in front of a mirror and think of herself as a fucking goddess? _Fuck you, you idiot, quit staring and say something!_ He opened his mouth again, closed it. How was it he always did the fucking fish with her?

  
“I'm glad you stayed, would you like to join me for breakfast,” she asked. How did she do that? Just talking like nothing happened? He very eloquently grunted an affirmative. _Fucking idiot._ Forget about practicing restraint, he needed to fucking learn to talk to the woman.


	11. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Zoro woke up entangled with Robin on the same bed where they had made a poor attempt at sexy time the night prior and he had some time to think things through before Robin woke up. He came to the conclusion that Robin would become his.  
> The only problem is, articulation is not his strong suit, so Robin has no idea of this resolve as of yet. Let’s see what she gathered from that meeting and how she will move on from this! Hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, welcome back! I almost forgot this upload, since it’s been finished for so long. Yes I could have posted early, but then you’d have to wait far longer for the next chapter since from now on, I’ll be actually writing hole chapters instead of just refining my drafts.  
> Thank you all for your continued support, it’s great to know I’m not only writing for myself!  
> Thanks to AKZJ / Alyah727 (“taming the unruly”, go check it out!) and Rexica (“Disinhibition”, definitely check this one out, too!) for their help with this fic!

“Fucking disaster”, is what he had called his encounter with the ghost Princess and while she usually refrained from such language it was what she herself called their own encounter on the last island they had visited. What on earth was wrong with her? She knew he was an honest man, brutally so, and still the first thing she had done was to question his integrity. Not for one moment thinking that maybe she was not the only one fighting demons. With three arms sprouting at the Sunny’s bow she hauled Chopper back on deck, one hand waving in response to his panicked words of gratitude as she sat down in the library. Smiling at the steaming cup awaiting her arrival she wondered if Sanji just planted coffee randomly around the ship or if she had really become this predictable. It was a thought that would have scared her to the core three years ago and it surprised her a little that it did not even bother her now. Her crew was her family, her safe haven, if they knew her needs and habits this well, then they did so to help and care and not to exploit and betray. She trusted them completely and unconditionally, but apparently not all of them equally or in all regards.

The velvety liquid on her tongue sharp and unbalanced, the perfect mirror to her feelings. The first time Sanji had prepared this particular roast for her he had apologised profusely, for how could he taint her perfect lips with such a vile concoction. He was right, years ago she would have turned it down after so much as sniffing at it, now however she, dare she say, enjoyed its imperfection. Closing her eyes she savored the sweetness of marshmallow and cola, the floral tobacco and acidic orange. She breathed in the stale rubber and astringent ash streaming from the almost black fluid. When it finally ran down her throat another kind of sweetness assaulted her senses, earthy but rotten. It disappeared as soon as it came and what lingered was a musky spice, cloves and licorice, mellow nutmeg and cutting ginger, soft cardamom and pungent white pepper all carefully aligned on a bed of moss and green tea. 

After he had bought every high quality coffee he had been able to get his hands on in an attempt to atone for the grievous mistake that this coffee had been, their chef just could not comprehend how she preferred this blend over the others. She was not going to tell him. She was not going to tell him that the reason for her taking uncharacteristically long to finish her cup wasn't that she had to force herself to take another sip, but that she treasured the aftertaste too much to take another before it had not vanished from her tongue. To her this coffee was more than just a beverage, it's aromas childish yet serious, the taste of dangerous adventure and homely family. Nakama. Every single one of them represented in this black beverage. To her it did not taste disgusting or unconventional, it tasted like home and safety. It tasted like him, in a way none of the others would know because none of them had ever been close enough to explore what lay underneath the smell of steel and sake. Only her and that made the coffee even more enjoyable.

Not that she had known the significance of the aftertaste until after she had woken up on that last island, encompassed by the scent of green tea and spice. It took her even longer to empty that cup since then. The taste of his skin… She really did enjoy this blend even more now but good god what had she been thinking? What did  _ he  _ think? Sure breakfast had been pleasant, but the faint air of awkwardness hadn’t left them until they had met again on the Sunny after splitting to not draw any suspicion. 

He had even paid for breakfast. Roronoa Zoro had bought her breakfast! She must have been the very picture of patheticness the night before, when she had heaped all her insecurities and trauma on the unsuspecting man, if he had felt compelled to pay. for. her. breakfast. She would have felt flattered, knowing that she had most certainly been the very first woman receiving such chivalry from him, had it not been for the disastrous night before. 

She had put so much thought into it, had been sure that it had been exactly what she wanted. That she wanted him. And yet… the moment he had hesitated… She was sure he had wanted her just as much, just like he had said, he would have never accompanied her to that room if it hadn’t been the case. His enthusiasm as he had practically pounced her, pressed her against the door in her back, thrown her on the mattress all but devouring her with hungry lips. She got tingly just thinking about it, but then he had withdrawn and so had she. 

The strong front she gave the world had crumbled and left her a weak, insecure girl in front of a man that was all about strength and will. Having seen her like that would he be as fervent if the situation arose a second time? Would there even be a second time? A second chance? He hadn’t tried to instigate anything after they had resolved their misunderstanding, but neither had she. They had talked like they always did when they were holed up together in the crow’s nest, soothingly familiar. Then they had fallen asleep, side by side and woken up entangled like a pair of lovers, complaisantly new. 

_ But now what _ , she asked herself not for the first time since all this strangeness had started. Most definitely not conjuring a disembodied eye in the shower above, as tempting as it would be. She would have never guessed that her devil fruit ability would come with such moral predicaments until she had felt his stiffness pressed up against her thigh, his rough pants way too thick to allow her proper assessment. 

She put down her cup and turned towards the bookcases taking up most of the room. Time to find a distraction lest temptation grew too big to resist. Her gaze lingered on the first print of “wandering forests” that seemed oddly read despite her having only read it once. Was there maybe someone on the ship trying to find an explanation for his miserable sense of direction? fufufufu, maybe she should compile him his own little library, was there a book on how to walk in a straight line? 

She wandered along the shelf, trying to spot other books he might have read, ignoring the fact that stalking out his reading habits was only marginally better than peeking at him in the shower. Probably even worse, since she was quite sure that he didn’t much care for his own nudity, the fact that she had never actually seen him with a book or that he had not once mentioned reading one, however, spoke volumes on his uneasiness on that topic. They talked about her books all the time, exactly why had he never mentioned that he actually read? She had just assumed that he had different interests. Was he embarrassed by it? Did it not suit his understanding of himself?

There, another book. Dictionary.  _ Oh no _ , had she embarrassed him by using words he didn't understand? She really tried keeping things simple, but whenever he would enquire about her books she couldn't help but getting lost in the descriptive worlds, illustrating them in all the elaborate words the authors had deemed fit. He wasn't stupid by any means, but she was well aware that he mostly lacked any formal education. Words didn't mean much to him whereas to her they meant the world. It had been worlds of black on white that had allowed her refuge from all the monsters in her childhood, how could she ever lose that affinity? A tentative smile crept upon her features for embarrassed or not, he did try to understand her, the well worn dictionary was proof of that. The embarrassment couldn’t be too severe either, after all he had not once ushered her out of the crow’s nest or turned down the opportunity to talk to her. 

Or did he just feel pressured into humouring her since the initial reason for her being there had been night-terrors that had followed her from her past? She barely even had them anymore, blanketed by his delicious musk of cloves and ginger she mostly slept peacefully through the night.

‘Fleas and other vermin - how to keep your favourite pet’s fur clean and healthy’ She snorted a laugh, remembering when Usopp had bought this particular guidebook as a joke for Chopper’s birthday. Fleas… her gaze drifted to the folders where they kept all the wanted posters and other information about Pirates and their affiliates the newspaper provided them with. Since his revelation on the last island she had stared at them a lot, not daring to open the one labeled ‘Eu - Gh’ and search for ‘Ghost Princess’ Perona. Her hand hovered before it, what good would it do her? Should she just - Heavy boots thumping on the floor behind her startled her, she froze in place. She had many good reasons for taking this folder out, and all but one were completely unsuspicious. The man that had apparently just finished his shower had no reason whatsoever to suspect anything but serious, actual research. There was no way he could - “She’s 25, has a great pair of tits that are a bitch to free from her damn corsets and still is just an immature brat, if that's what you were wondering,” he grouched. Blood rose to her cheeks as she slowly lowered her hand and turned towards him. “I didn't. I … I … I mean…” since when did she even stutter? Has there ever been a more embarrassing situation? To be found out like that? Caught red handed?

His eye sparked with mischief, “sure, whatever you say, Robin,” he said, making for the door, knowing nothing about the heat that pooled between her legs at the way her name had rolled of his tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo, what do you think of this one? Did you find all the strawhats in the coffee right away? Great, give yourself a cookie! You didn’t? No problem, take a consolation cookie!  
> Also, good news everyone, if you want to read more Zoro, you don’t have to wait the 2 weeks for me to update here, just head over to Rexica’s Disinhibition, though things are a little rougher over there (or maybe because?), the portrayal is delicious!


	12. F

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time, after Zoro had decided to try and pursue a relationship with Robin, after he got his strength under control, Robin was caught worrying about Perona, after she had contemplated whether or not to sneak a peek at Zoro in the shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I’m really sorry that this chapter took so long, university started again and I had to get that sorted out along with a lot of private stuff and with all that my creativity and productivity took a huge hit. Now obviously university is still an issue but I’ll try to upload at least once a month. When I upload it will be wednesday (best subscribe or follow, so you’ll be notified *hint-hint*).
> 
> Now a little bit about how this story in general. I’m really happy to still have regular readers on this, however when I planned or wrote this and following chapters I kind of tripped and fell into a steaming kettle of BDSM (On that note, take a look, I adjusted the tags). If that’s not your cup of tea, I’m sorry, but that’s what it’s going to be. I don’t know to what extent as of yet because, to be honest I really don’t plan this thing more than one chapter a character ahead, if even that… so maybe just wait and see, it will probably take some time until we see some actual action.
> 
> As always a huge thank you goes to both AKZJ / Alyah727 (“taming the unruly”) and Rexica (“Disinhibition”). They are a huge help, because one, I suck at punctuation and two, when I write things are obvious to me and it helps to have another set of eyes to point stuff out that I didn’t catch. In fact this chapter especially is only here, because after talking to Rexica I was suddenly full of ideas and had to put them to writing, so you better go return the favour and read “Disinhibition” after you finished this ;)

“Oy, Zoro Bro.”

He opened his good eye with a grunt, staring up to Franky and a scared looking Usopp hiding behind the cyborg's huge frame. An eyebrow rose at the unfamiliarly timid demeanor his crewmates were exuding. He was used to see it on Usopp but it was entirely new for Franky. “Well, spit it out,” he grouched as minutes had ticked by without either of them uttering even a syllable.

“Well, um…”

“I don't know how to tell you this, bro...I know you're suuper manly and strong, bro, but…”

“W- would you mind being a bit more...gentle to the Sunny when...you know…”

“Releasing your super manly urges? Ow, breaking the Sunny is not super at all!”

What the fuck? His eye widened as blood rose to his head. Fuck, yeah, there might have been some damage done to the tiles in the shower or the floor and railing, or his bunk. Aw fuck. The feel of the woman's glorious tits just wouldn't leave his mind. Fuck.

“That's not…” what the fuck was he supposed to say in his defense?  _ Fuck it, just wing it.  _ He stood, forcing down his furious blush, and Usopp shrinked back at his glare. “Holding back is not manly at all. For a woman, yes, they are frail compared to me, but your ship, I thought, was built to last,” and with that he left them standing, mouths agape, eyes wide. He heard Franky call after him that, Ow, yes it was super built to do that, followed by praise for his suuuper manly manliness and ignored Usopp's shaking suspicion that he might have made it up on the go. What could he say, he had done just that after all.

Damn, he'd been careless, he thought as he swung himself up the ropes of the crow's nest. Ever since their encounter, and his realisation on Karni-island, he'd started a training of a different kind; without much success, as evident by the intervention just now. Damn, he felt like a rapist. Ships had a soul, hadn't they? Fuck. He pulled himself up the latch, halting on the crow's nest's floor. He huffed... ridiculous…“sorry,” he grumbled, petting the planks, feeling stupid and guilty at the same time. 

“Sorry for what, Zoro-san?”

Fuck! What was she doing here? She hadn't come up since that island. Why would she come up now of all times? Fuck it all, just add observation Haki to the list of things he had to improve.

“Nothing,” he answered fisting his short hair. Just let this damn day be over, please? “What are you doing here, Robin, you haven't been around the last couple of weeks?”

She started at that, oh fuck please don't take it the wrong way? She didn't, smiled instead, blushing. Damn, was she cute when she did that!

“To be honest, I've been avoiding you. I didn't know how to act around you after what had happened.” Her voice was soft, unsure.

“Now you do?”, He asked getting a strange feeling of foreboding. She seemed distant, her defenses up, was she afraid of how he'd react, had she already decided on something? What wouldn't he give for understanding this woman, damn it!

“I believe I do, yes. I told you that I like you and I showed you that I want you, but as you have seen I'm not quite ready to … let go. I'm not ready to be vulnerable in front of you and probably never will be, so I'd like for you to forget anything happened.” Her voice was firm now, her mind obviously made up. She had thought about this, obviously. Meant it, too, he just wasn't sure about her reason.

“Nothing happened,” he assured her, not missing the hurt in her azure gaze, before she managed to stifle it. “You didn't get jealous of that bimbo hitting on me, didn't rent a room for us and didn't invite me to stay the night. You didn't moan my name when I bit your nipple and you didn't fall asleep on my chest, didn't wrap your legs around me in your sleep. You didn't sleep through the night like you never do when I'm near. You fine with that?” The last one was a gamble, he knew, but her face, the cool facade torn by all the truths he had spoken, proved him right. She could sleep because of him. 

She sighed, “you make it sound ridiculous.”

“Because it is, Robin,” He said rubbing his face. What was it she wanted to gain with this? What the fuck was her problem. Pacing like a caged beast he continued: “What do you want, you know I'm slow so spell it out. You want me to forget what happened in that room, fine, I can do that. Is it the affection part, or the part where you smothered me with your tits that you have a problem with? Want me to forget our talks here too, or is it enough to forget that you wanted to take it a step further?” He wasn't equipped to deal with two fucked up conversations in this short a time and fuck, he knew he shouldn't pressure her like that but god dammit, this was so frustrating! That he still wanted to fuck her brains out wasn't helping either.

“I'd like to say both, kenshi-san,” oh wasn't that just fucking grand? She was back to using his old nickname, distancing herself even further from him and their conversation, wasn't she, “I really would, but unfortunately I fear to become a liability for the crew like that.”

Fucking enigma that woman.

“Spit it out,” he pushed, a part of him celebrating the shame dancing over her features. She really didn't want to say what was coming next, that much was clear.

“Well... I've… since our encounter I've been somewhat preoccupied… with… certain thoughts about you. I'm not saying- I mean, I think I…” her blue eyes pleaded with him to relieve her, but no, let her swim. He'd been preoccupied for months now, imagining the taste of her lips, the feel of her skin, the heat of her touch, it was only fair if she too struggled a little now. “I think we should get rid of that problem. We are both adults and should be perfectly able to scratch that itch without any strings attached,” She blurted out, not like her at all, really. 

He huffed, staring her right in the eye and just like Usopp before she shrank back. Damn him if he hadn't had enough of this bullshit for today. “You saying you want me to fuck you raw? Fuck you so you won't have to fantasize about me anymore? Fuck you so you are free of the chains I have on your mind? Fuck your body and free your soul?” His voice rougher than he intended, but the effect was quite satisfactory.

“Yes” Her answer a breathless whisper, her pupils wide as her nipples strained against her shirt. Fuck, she really wanted him, and damn if he didn't want to indulge her. She wanted him as her fuckbuddy? Hadn't taken her for that kind of girl, but fine she could try, wouldn't get her far though. She wanted to rid herself from the desire she felt for him by indulging just once? Tough luck, he'd become her fucking drug. She wished to strike a deal here, business proposal? She wanted it easy? Fuck no, he'd have her begging on her fucking knees! For ages she'd been playing her little mind games with him, now she'd learn just who she'd been playing with. Just two steps carried him right in front of her, personal space be damned.

“Well, then I'm fucking sorry,” he said, gripping her chin tightly in his calloused hand, forcing her to look up to his towering form, his gaze burning with an intensity that it almost seared him himself. Damn did he want her right now. “Because when I take you, Nico Robin, I'll take your everything. I'll have you bare before me, body and soul and I will keep both. When I fuck you, you will not be free of me, as you seem to wish. When I fuck you, I will be the only thing on your mind and you will scream my name loud enough that the whole world will know that you are mine.”

He released her with a peck on her forehead, relishing in the ensuing shiver and the soft whimper coming from her, knowing full well that those reactions did not stem from anxiety or even fear. He had seen that reaction often enough, even loudmouth “not cute” ghost girl had been an eager recipient of this other side of him...till a certain point that is...damn those hollows… realisation on what had just transpired, and the words he had husked, dawned when his boots thumped on deck. Damn, he sure had talked big up there… better put brushing up on female pleasure on that list, too, just to be safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you liked this, leave a comment and let me know, constructive criticism is always welcome, too! I hope to see you next chapter!


	13. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Zoro had a shitty day, which lead him to forget about his resolution to be nice and try to woo her and instead just tell her what he wanted to do with her. Now we all know Robin had a difficult past let's find out how she reacts to Zoro's forcefulness!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news, everyone, a new update!   
> First things first:   
> Thank you guys so much for your support, the day after I posted my beta AKZJ / Alyah727 (“taming the unruly” she just posted a new chapter!) texted me: “OMG u got 6 new reviews [on FF.net]!!!!” and I didn't believe her until I saw for myself. You guys are amazing and really keep me motivated. I'd like to use this note to especially thank tonialla (if you're still here), Victoria Horn and Otaku-SIG from ff.net for staying with me for so long and taking time to repeatedly comment!   
> Of course I also have to thank my beta and Rexica (“disinhibition”, a must read if you're into Zoro-pairings amd also, and I can't stress this enough, ninja!), not for all the nice comments she left (well that too) but for the great job she's doing as my… consultant (I guess?) She's got a really good grasp on all the strawhats and their dynamic so her input is a huge help, she helps a lot developing this story. 
> 
> With that settled, let's get serious:   
> Reader discretion advised! I’m not going to say this each and every chapter, so here, remember, this is for mature audience, this contains sexual content and most of what I’m referring to that has happened in the past had not been consensual.

The light grey of his eye sensuously dark as he yanked her head back by her hair. Her arms lifting from the rough planks of the crow's nest as he pulled her back against his chest, before he devoured her needy mouth. “Scream, Nico Robin, scream for me,” he murmured against her swollen lips, thrusting his hard length into her with fervour, stretching her in the most delicious way. She didn't, couldn't, fearing they'd be caught; wanted to, just couldn't. His hand found her throat, the grip tight and unrelenting. “When I tell you to scream you better do so, Robin” and she did. The pressure on her throat leaving it a strangled mewl as she came, her back arching from the soft mattress of her bed, her fingers pumping relentlessly, trying to prolong her pleasure for as long as possible.

Two weeks, it's been two weeks since the incident in the crow's nest and it still had not left her. In fact if anything, things had become more intense with every day that had passed. Same for her fantasies as well. What had started innocent enough, with deep stares and gentle touches by rough hands had mutated into something she could neither place nor approve of. What gave her the desired release now was a far cry from what had before, a far cry from the sweet romance novels she loved so much and disturbingly similar to what had made up her nightmares not too long ago.

When her breathing calmed she got up to wash up, glad that Nami had opted to watch Luffy on his watch, lest he made true on his promise of a midnight Picnic. Knowing she wouldn't be able to fall asleep again, at least without waking up a dripping mess again, she decided to get ready for the day, dawn was just around the corner after all. She took her hairbrush in her shamefully wrinkled fingers and ignored the soreness of her scalp from where she had tugged her hair too roughly. This couldn't go on, at this rate she'd go bald or crazy in no time. Maybe both. 

She disrobed in front of the floor length mirror, scrutinizing her body in a way she hadn't for quite some time. She did have good genes, she had to admit. Her huge breasts sagged just a little, with their weight they could have been hanging down between her kneecaps after all. She still had stretch marks, had had them since she'd been 15, when her body had decided that it didn't attract enough male attention as it was and all but exploded on her. She still loathed it for that. The angry pink had faded, by now only white jagged scars were left, barely discernible against the paleness of her skin. Zoro hadn't seemed to be bothered by them. In fact no man had ever been bothered, not enough to stop at least. 

She pulled her panties over her toned legs, she had them going at least even though her butt wasn't as firm as it could be with all the running she did. She put on her bra, wincing as the material scraped over her agitated nipples. Maybe it wasn't all genetics, she hadn't had a new mark ever since she'd started wearing ‘Usopp's custom made reinforced awesome-bras’, that were nothing but heavy-duty sport-bras disguised as skimpy lingerie. It was their little secret even though he had vague plans to expand the business. Nami had even offered him a loan with moderate interest, and that said it all. When she had slipped on her thigh length woolly pullover she looked at what really made her look old; the dark circles under her eyes, skin that wasn't just pale but sallow and hair that had lost its shine. She really needed more sleep, better sleep, sleep undisturbed by green haired incubi.

What affected her so much? The way his rough fingers had dug into her soft cheeks, the dark timbre of his voice promising her pleasure like she had never experienced before, the soft affection of his lips on her forehead? With barely a touch she had come the moment the latch had closed after him. She shouldn't react like that. She should be terrified. Should pack her things and leave. She had heard such promises before and they had ended with her beaten, raped and chained up. Had left her Crocodile’s obedient little pet. What on earth made her even contemplate putting herself in such a situation again? And of her own free will at that! But...was that even Zoro's intention? He wasn't good with words, maybe it had just come out the wrong way? He had sounded uncharacteristically eloquent though, crass, yes, but the way his words had lulled her to acquiescence, the honey dripping promise… There hadn't been even an ounce of insecurity, of uncertainty, neither in his touch, nor his words. His voice had not wavered, his stare not let off. He had known what he had said, what he had implied; had not tried to lull her, but had spoken his mind without holding back for her sake. 

He had said he wanted her bare before him but at this moment he had been the one bared for her to see. He would not be satisfied with just her body, in fact, she had probably insulted him with her proposal. Enough to snap; enough to stop trying to appease her or to keep up the appearance of friendly interest and to just outright tell her what he wanted and she had listened. He wanted a relationship, not meaningless sex. He wanted her and he would wait until he could have her, but once she was ready he would make her his. To him it was a matter of when, not if. At least that is what she had understood from his little outburst. That and that her body was more than ready to be his.

He wouldn't do such things to her, would he? Take her freedom and replace it with an illusion of it? Make her think that she was her own woman, that she served him of her own volition; that she sucked his revolting cock because she wanted to and not because it was ingrained in her mind that she would be whipped or starved if she didn't lap up even the last repugnant drop with a smile?

Bile rose in her throat, the memory of the pungent smell still vivid enough in her mind to make her gag. They had loved it when she gagged while they had their lengths shoved down her throat. Could punish her for it, after all an obedient little pet should cherish the attention of its master. 

Deep breath, Robin, deep breath. Water. Glass of water. Breathe. Her chest grew tight as the soothing sound of the waves swelled to a screaming roar. Breathe. Her name in the distance. Breathe. Breathe. Touch on her shoulder. Please no! Breathe. Ohara. The earthy smell that always dominated in the tree of Knowledge. Breathe. The chocolatey smell of  old books, breathe. The feeling of worn leather covers in her hands. Breathe. Dereshishishishi ,  Saul laughing for her. Two hands on her shoulders, turning her. Breathe.

“Are you Okay, Robin? Look at me!”

She looked. Scared, brown eyes before her. Worry. Quiet waves, sea, not the desert. Light shining into the cabin, not a dungeon or a cell. Nami, not Crocodile or one of the others. Breathe.

“You’re shaking, Robin,” she said. 

She smiled, safe. She was safe here on the Sunny, with her crew. Things like that would not repeat themselves and Zoro would never even think of treating her that way. One last deep breath. “Thank you Nami, I’m fine now.”

The woman did not buy that, her scrutinising gaze didn’t leave her, “I understand why you wouldn’t talk with Chopper about what you had to endure but I would listen,” she said. Robin knew she would, knew that Nami could understand her, she just couldn’t. Especially not now. Yes, Zoro would never treat her like that, but how could she… how could she want him to? Was she damaged beyond repair? Had she been nurtured into that role? She couldn’t possibly talk to Nami about this, so she changed the topic: “Where did you leave the captain?”

The navigator furrowed her brows in irritation, not used to people not doing her bidding, “After we saw your arms sprouting randomly across deck I tied him to the mast with his arms to keep him from rushing in to save you from your invisible evil twin.”

She smiled again, that did indeed sound like their captain, “Well, I better tell him that we managed to defeat her then.”

Nami huffed behind her, “You do that, but believe me, talking helps. Back then I would have gone mad if I hadn't had Nojiko. I know it's hard to open up, talk about your weakness now that you are strong. I know you want to forget all that has happened to you, I… I understand, Robin.”

She halted, her hand on the doorknob, Nami understood. Maybe she could talk to her. About what had happened to her, not about what was happening now. Fine. Instead of leaving she locked the door. “Fine,” she said, sat on her bed. She told her, everything. From Ohara’s destruction to Crocodile, omitting the gruesome details but providing the whole picture nonetheless and she felt nothing. No relief whatsoever. She had expected to feel lighter, now that she had unburdened herself, now that there was someone who knew and who had been through remotely the same, but nothing. So she really was damaged beyond repair, maybe she should just ask Zoro for a collar and be done with it. 

“So, what changed? You’ve been fine for quite some time now, haven’t you? Not even nightmares and now …?” Nami asked after a long stretch of silence.

She should have known that Nami would ask further questions. Maybe she should remind Cat burglar Nami of the saying about cats and curiosity.

“Has it something to do with all the masturbating?”

Oh no. 

“You know I kind of did notice that you seem to be changing your sheets quite excessively...”

Oh no. Of course she had noticed!

“...Really, it’s about time, I never understood how you could just talk for hours with that blockhead, honestly, does he even have any attention span if it’s not about swords or booze?”

Oh no!

She stared at her, mouth agape, eyes wide. Just what should she do now? How had she found out? Just-

“...Well I guess he wasn’t a complete idiot, after all he had used that extra money I gave him back on Karni-Island, I’m telling you, you two were so cute when you came back, thinking we wouldn’t notice just because you came separately...”

We?! Who else knew? All of them? And nobody had talked?

“...Didn’t stop him from fantasising about your panties though, after all, Zoro can’t kill him for it,  _ yohohoho… _ ”

Brook then. Those gossips.

“...oh well, if Zoro keeps up with destroying the Sunny whenever he rubs one out Franky and Usopp will probably realise it, too...”

He what? This was humiliating. This was even worse than when Zoro had caught her in the library. She would never be able to escape now. Nami would squeeze even the last drop of information out of her to lord it over them for all eternity!

But then Nami stopped her rant, got up, stretching her arms like a cat after a satisfying nap. “Don’t worry, Robin, Zoro is a good guy, heart of gold, even though his head is just as dense, I guess. He will treat you right, cherish you and love you on a bed of roses. Tell him to get a manicure before, though, those hands are like sandpaper,” she said with a wink, making for the door.

“That’s not what I want, Nami.”

She stopped, mid stride, “What?”

She couldn’t look at her, ashamed of herself. “It’s not what I want, that’s the problem. When I pleasure myself I don’t think about gentle kisses and a soft caress on a bed of petals. I think about knees scraping over hard wood and his rough hand on my throat.” She didn’t look up to see Nami’s reaction, the shocked gasp she heard was enough. Nami had been through rape and slavery, but she was normal, dreaming of soft and gentle lovemaking, praying to never be in a situation even remotely similar to what had been done to her. Just like she herself should, but didn’t.

“Gods, Robin, you make me sick! Zoro is like a brother to me, I don’t need such details!” she exclaimed.

Really, that’s why? She chanced a glance up to her, still unsure and still ashamed. Nami smiled at her, encouraging, “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for, its just...really gross. Apart from that, who cares? Whatever gets you off.” 

Just like that? “How can you be okay with that? How can I want back what happened to me? I wanted to die back then and now I want that back? What’s wrong with me?” How could she just stand there and condone this? She had experienced pain and violence, how could she be okay with someone not minding that?

“Nothing is wrong with you, Robin, because it’s not the same. If Zoro hits you, or chokes you or whatever you guys do up there - please don't tell me- he does it because you want him to. He doesn’t do it because he thinks less of you or thinks you deserve it because media called you the devil child, but because you trust each other. He does it because you allow him to. Honestly Robin, aren’t you old enough to grasp the concept of consent?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you’re still with me and enjoyed this one. As always, constructive criticism is very welcome, but since things are getting dark and possibly against some people's taste, please stay cordial.
> 
> The next three chapters are already done more or less, and since it's actually one big scene I'm considering uploading them with just a week in between instead of my attempted 2 week schedule (and yes I rushed the update again this chapter, but you all know I'm utterly defenseless against comments and reviews). Problem is that that could mean that you might have to wait a bit longer afterwards because I'm going to be pretty busy and can't promise any schedule beyond those 3 chapters. Let me know about your preference! 
> 
> And yes, I’m aware that my notes are entirely too long^^


	14. G

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Robin had doubts about her sanity, unsure how she could feel the way she does, desire what she does, even though that had been what she had despised in her past.  
> How did Zoro cope with their last interaction? How far along is he with that list of his? And what will he do when he sees Robin sneaking around town? Why is she even sneaking? And what does any of this have to do with cats? So many questions!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone  
> Thank you for all your wonderful feedback! The polls are closed, the next few chaps will be updated weekly! I'm sorry there seemed to be a misunderstanding about when I'd start this schedule...
> 
> I have an announcement for you, 3 actually.
> 
> 1\. I have enough chapters ready to provide you with updates twice a month till february, which is good, because i have lots of tests to write in february and wouldn’t be able to write during that time.  
> 2\. I have written some lemon for you (right now scheduled for february and still 7 chapters away), don’t get your hopes up too much, I found out I suck at these, and not in a good way.  
> Thing is, ff only allows M-ratings, while ao3 does host MA- ratings. If you are uncomfortable with anything too explicit, please continue reading this fic on fanfiction, if you’re saying ‘no way, I’ve only suffered through this long ass exposition FOR the smut!’ read on ao3  
> 3\. BDSM can be a sensitive topic and maybe even an intimidating one, if things in this fic are unclear or anything, please ask. One of the worst things in anything sex related are misconceptions. If you’re reading this on ao3 and find tags missing, please tell me. I’m not sure whether or not to tag every single practice they indulge in, let me know your preference, want a warning or a surprise? 
> 
> With that out of the way, two huge thank yous to AKZJ / Alyah727 and Rexica, without them this would be riddled with errors or not here at all.

He watched their navigator with a certain unease as he cut the line as she had instructed. There couldn’t possibly come any good from that. Did she want the unspent money from Karni-Island back? Yeah, that had to be it.

“So go buy yourself something nice, Robin, yeah? Make sure it accentuates all the right stuff, if you know what I mean,” she sent Robin off before turning to him with agitation, “come on now Zoro we don’t have all day.”

“Witch, I don’t need your handout, I still got some from last time, you want that back or what is this about?”

She went white with something suspiciously close to horror before turning the brightest red humanly possible. 

“You what?!” she screamed at him, all teeth and nails before he could even point out how her skin colour clashed with her hair, “I gave you that money for a purpose, you moron! How could you? You better go out there and find-” she stopped there, taking a calming breath before leaning right into his face to hiss her next words in a way that made him want to face all 4 yonkou by himself; if it got him out of this situation with his balls still attached to his body: “You better go after Robin and buy her whatever she fucking wishes for, you buffoon. Honestly how could you let her pay for the room? Haven’t you learned anything from Sanji?” Of fucking course she knew. He should have known the moment she had been generous… she might love him like a brother, but never would she hand him that much for his own amusement. Of. Fucking. Course. He sighed. “You better keep this between you and Brook, nothing happened, so there really is no reason to spread this among the crew.”

Another deep breath from her and she backed off, still glowering down at him from her elevated position on a crate, with the only purpose to make her taller than all of them so she could look the queen she wished to be. Shaking her head she called him an idiot while attempting to kick him off the ship. He left without any resistance. Of course she knew… nothing was a secret around her. Her and Brook, fuck those gossip tea parties, and Brook too for that matter; acting all sophisticated and then go around asking for panties and spreading rumors. 

Wasn’t surprising either that Nami hadn’t used the knowledge to extort him yet, after all, this was about Robin. Robin hadn’t told her, he was sure, but with them living in the same room it was probably inevitable for Nami to notice that something was up. Did Robin know Nami knew? Maybe ask her. If he could find her. She had been just a few meters in front of him.... 

If Nami knew about them, did she know how badly he had fucked it up three weeks ago? Probably not, would have ripped him a new one...would have served him his balls for breakfast, if Sanji would allow such a thing in his kitchen… Thank the gods he didn’t. He probably deserved it though. Didn’t know what exactly Robin had been through in the past, she had never outright told him but… he wasn’t as oblivious as most of the crew, hadn’t grown up in blissful naivité. 

Back then, when he had still been a bounty hunter, he had seen how scum treated people weaker than them, had met the girls they had left in their destroyed villages and had met those they had taken with them to keep for themselves. The broken husks, trying to please even him because it was all they still knew. All they could do without having to fear the wrath of their 'masters’, even after they were already dead. Treating people like that… disgusting. Sure that didn't happen to every woman coming across this type of vermin, but his encounter with the late Mr 7 had made it painstakingly clear that Robin had not been so fortunate. If he had worked hard enough for the organisation, he might have been allowed a go with Mr 0’s little pet. Not that he had known that said advertised pet had been Robin. Hadn't even known when she had first joined the crew, but when she had started to sleep around him… the terrified whimpers, the murmured pleas, the assurances that she'd be a good girl… And what had he done? Trampled all over it. Told her things she had probably heard a million times, manhandled her. Sure, she had reacted appropriately, but what if that's what she'd been trained to do? And not the good type of training. He could fucking kick himself! Of course she couldn't stand his presence anymore, couldn't look him in the eye. Fuck! 

That was probably it then… no chance in hell she'd trust him now, was there? He should apologize to her… if she wouldn't duck out of sight the moment he came around the corner like she'd done the last weeks on the Sunny.

How did you even apologize for something like that? Sorry I treated you like your tormentors did, no hard feelings, right? Promise her that it would never happen again? He couldn't though, had meant every word he'd said to her, it was who he was after all. He halted at that.

For the first time ever he realised that they probably had no future, not even a chance at one. He stood there in the middle of the town, staring into the distance not even noticing the busy townsfolk hurrying past him. He had a firm grasp on his sexuality, knew what aroused him and now, in sudden revelation, knew that he couldn't possibly do that to Robin. Fuck. He should break this off. Would be the honourable thing to do, wouldn't it? She was already distancing herself from him so this was probably pure formality. Make her know that yes, she was free of him and  had no more transgressions to fear. He sighed, rubbing his head, he liked her, felt good with her around. Karni-island, waking up with her next to him, her weight on him, her breath against his skin… he could live with that, would like to in fact, but no, that would be selfish. Liked her too much for that, wouldn't ever want to see the lifeless expression in her eyes that he had seen in others. Wouldn't want her to be reminded of abuse when she was with him, and that was what would most likely happen. What probably had happened already. 

He saw her. Stealing away from Chopper and making for an alley south of the town Square. The sun was in that direction so it had to be south, right? Alright, time to grow a pair.

He followed her, his Haki focused only on her energy, like he could count on the town to stay the way it was, no he knew better by now. He kept clear of her randomly sprouted eyes and ears checking her escape route. Could everyone using Haki feel them this easily or was it because they'd been so close to each other? He huffed, close to each other his ass, he wanted to apologize for being a creep and what does he do? Stalk her when she clearly wanted to be alone. He came to a stand in front of a door that looked just like the one on the next building and the next, the house looking exactly the same as the ones on each side. What could she possibly want here? How had she even known that this was where she wanted to be? It was in no way different from any of the other houses next to it, not even a tiny sign… He tried the handle, unlocked, he stepped in his muscles tense like they always were when he entered unknown territory. 

No, following her here was more than enough, following her in? Couldn't intrude on her privacy like that, he turned, closed the door and leaned next to it. He'd just have to wait until she came back out. It took her longer than he'd expected, so he assumed that there was either very good coffee or very interesting books in this house behind him, if not both. When she finally came out she did so in a whirl. Not even seeing him right next to her she was that busy to get away from the place.

“Robin.”

She gasped, stared at him with wide eyes, her face flushed an adorable crimson, as the bag full of books fell from her grasp; it's numerous contents splaying across the alley. For a moment they just stared at each other before she jumped into action to dive for one book in particular, pressing it against her chest. She became solemn after that, staring him in the eye in a way that bordered on challenging. He accepted it, looked at the rest of magazines and books. ‘Psychology yesterday - trauma causes BDSM tendencies, amazing study with 3 participants!’, 'release your inner goddess, embrace your kinks’, 'psychology tomorrow - overactive libido, a case study’, EXIT- red flags in a relationship’, ‘bdsm for dummies’.

He looked up at her and the book pressed against her chest, the only one she seemed ashamed of. Looked like any other of her sappy romance novels. Not as sappy as he'd assumed, seeing the display on the ground. And maybe not as focused on romance as he had originally thought, either. Ha, Sanji's nosebleed would rocket him through the fucking roof if he found out that dear, sweet Robin-chwan read porn!

“You know, Robin, I came to apologize for last time but,” he took another look at her choice of books, “maybe we should talk for a change”

She smiled at him, nervous, “Yes, maybe we should,” she said while disembodied arms collected her research material, stacking it neatly before putting it back inside the bag, “I...inside they had a sign saying they had rooms, if you want.” Of course they had… charging a million an hour probably, well then he could at least invest his money like Nami had intended, he gave a quick nod and followed her in.

“Ah, you're back, my dear, decided ya needed the merch after all? I'm telling ya, I have that   one myself and it d-”, the overly enthusiastic babble of the old crone behind the counter stopped as her milky vision focused on him, damn, she had to be even older than Kuleha “My, my, now of course ya have no need for such hotchpotch with a hunk like that,” she continued, undeterred by Robbin’s attempts of cutting her off and the furious blush on his face, “I’d sure like to have a go at that myself, with so much on display a lady can only imagine what kind of pack-” the rest of her sentence was muffled by Robin’s hand having sprouted from the woman’s shoulder “We need a room!”, she said, before freeing the shopkeep’s mouth, who stared at the hand for a moment before grinning wickedly at them “Oh my, aren’t ya a kinky one? Of course ya two need a room; couch, bed, cross or swing? If ya want to lend props ‘n toys that’s an extra of 50 Beri and if ya want them clean it’s 500 Beri.” No wonder Robin had been fleeing this place, that hag…

“Chairs and a table will suffice, thank you, and maybe some coffee,” chancing a look back at him she added “sake, too please.” 

“My, my, ya young folks sure know how to spoil the fun for an old lady like me, come on, follow up,” she said before waddling up the stairs to her right muttering about all the things she’d do to him if she were in Robin’s young and supple body. Maybe they should have asked for a shower, too, damn hag made his skin crawl. She showed them into a small room lined with tatami and a low table at the centre. Unexpectedly modest. 

“Through this latch here you can get your order once the bell chimes, if you want more, there’s a menu on the table, fill out the form and place it in there,” she instructed. “Please enjoy your stay.” This had to be another woman, they must have switched sometime! Just like they had switched location, this was nowhere near the heady, dark bookstore they’d been in before and this old woman was a perfectly polite innkeeper instead of a lewd old hag! With a polite bow she pushed the paper door close behind her and left them to themselves. “What the fuck?”

“Yes she did seem strange when I bought the books and magazines,” Robin laughed, “I’m a bit surprised she didn’t try to chain us up in a dungeon.” She sat down on her knees, spreading the magazines on the small table after having disposed of said menu that screamed anything but modest restaurant.  _ How about a steaming bowl of ramen? Here, take that  _ cat _ on the side to spice things up!  _

“As you can see, I came here  to do some research,” she opened.

He huffed, picking ‘psychology yesterday’ scrutinizing the headline, bullshit!

“Oh, that one was unrelated, it has an article on how our morals and perceptions influence our findings in all possible fields, I can’t believe it only got two pages! And what for? For a study with three subjects, that’s not a study, it’s a disgrace! I really shouldn’t have bought it, I know that I really shouldn’t support this type of magazine but I really like the author of that article. knows what got into him to publish in th- ” She was rambling. Going on and on about that great mind that had somehow ended up publishing his findings in dubious magazines, completely ignoring the giant in the room. Just as well, really, it gave him time to think, and her too, probably. Neither had seen this talk coming, neither were prepared and neither really wanted to, probably. That was probably his new favourite word. Nothing was really sure with Robin, not even his intentions anymore. He had come here to break it off, to officially end what he had thought she had ended three weeks ago, instead he had found her researching kinks and healthy relationships. Did that mean that she wanted to try this or that she was searching for a way to cure him? Not that he needed a cure, wasn’t a disease after all… she knew that, right? Sure she did. She was Robin after all.

“What exactly did you research?” he interrupted, really not caring about how climate change had, according to some other researcher, lead to the existence of devil fruits. How had she even ended up at that topic?

She stared at him again with those big blue eyes. Yes she was cute as fuck when she did that, but he was getting sick and tired of that look. Honestly, he wasn’t going to eat her, no reason to be that scared… though he might have given her enough grounds for such a  _ hytophesis _ .

Her mouth moved but no words came out, now that was nice for a change! Nico Robin didn’t know what to say instead of the other way round, maybe his studies had payed off! Her face became redder by every second ticking by and when she started fidgeting he had enough.

“You already showed me the books, Robin, just spit it out, how hard can that be?”, he asked, trying really hard not to sound as gruff as he usually did. Not all that successful in his opinion, but it seemed to do the trick.

She gasped before clearing her throat, then leveled her gaze on him, clear and sure. “Our last encounter left me… insecure, about myself. I… I reacted in a way that scared me, to be honest. And I think honesty is in order here, otherwise we’ll never sort this out. I expect the same courtesy from you.” Her voice was firm and he knew she hid behind the scientist, but he didn’t care much about that, whatever made her comfortable. He grunted an affirmative and she continued: “I didn’t deem it fit for me to react positively to the announcement you had made. You don’t know much of my past, but…” She wavered, didn’t want to tell him... was probably ashamed. Probably feared he’d think less of her if he knew, they mostly did, just like most he’d met thought it had been their own fault instead of the bastards’ really responsible.

“You were a slave,” he stated and this time it was honest surprise and fear that hushed over her features.

“How do you know?”

He scoffed. “I may be slow but I’m not stupid, despite curly brow’s opinion. I’m not ignorant of how this world works and you tend to speak during your nightmares. I can do the math.”

She nodded, sad, like she didn’t know what to make of this. “Do you know what kind of slave?”

“Yes.”  _ keep it at that, no need to go into details _ .

She nodded again, her shoulders slumped. When she spoke again there was no security whatsoever in her voice, reminded him more of the whimper he’d hear while she cowered on the crow’s nest couch: “They told me similar things. Touched me with similar roughness. He gave me a collar and called me his little pet. He gave me to his officers and frontiers if they pleased him greatly, which didn’t happen often, and to his billions if I displeased him greatly.” That had probably happened more often but was left unsaid. “He displayed me on business meetings for everyone to see and touch and probe. Provided them with tools... When he thought he had broken me thoroughly he made me number two, after all, what was better suited at his side than an obedient little pet that would never even think of betraying its master?” she looked up at him, tears streaming freely down her red cheeks but her gaze held no trace of insecurity, sadness or anger, just as well, he was seething enough for the both of them, if he ever met Crocodile again, he’d be a dead man. When she continued she did not look away, instead, stared him right in the eye. “I should have been terrified that day, I should have run, but I didn’t because nothing had ever aroused me like that. I came the moment you left.”

He blinked. She what? What? That was not what he had been expecting. Really not. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed and are looking forward to more talking, because that’s what they’re going to do. What’s with the cat you want to know? Well, either you do a quick online search or wait 2 chapters for another clue.  
> As always, comments are highly appreciated, constructive criticism always welcome! See you next week!


	15. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Zoro followed Robin when she sneaked around town and they ended up in a… bookstore/ restaurant/ love hotel to talk. Now they talk some more and get a naughty little present from the naughty old granny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hallo everyone, first I have to thank Rexica for finding the time to beta this chapter on really short notice, she's the best! I've told you before and I'll tell you again, check out her story disinhibition, it's amazing!
> 
> Now, dear ghost, thank you for your continued support and comments, if you (or anyone else) want me to answer your questions directly, you'll either have to log in on ffn and pm me, or comment on ao3. 
> 
> 1- Will there be updates in January? - Yes. Weekly in December (maybe, if you're being nice I might give you a Christmas present), and every 2 weeks in January and February.
> 
> 2- When will there be differences in the FF and ao3 versions? - Chapter J in February, although I recently read the FF ratings guide and realised that I've already written more explicitly than the site allows (“unleash your imagination” my a**)
> 
> 3- Will there be much difference between the versions? - Yes, I don't have time for writing two versions, so this will be crude cuts lacking any finesse, but there'll probably be a recap for any emotional or character developments.

He looked at her like a little boy that had been given the most wonderful present he could imagine. Utter surprise and gleeful joy. Did he know that? Maybe, maybe he let her see for honesty’s sake, or maybe he wanted to prove to her that he didn’t pose a threat. Not to her at least. Her Haki was not as developed as the others’, couldn’t use it as casual as the rest of them could, had to put a conscious effort in, but even she had felt the murderous intent rolling off him in waves as she had told him about Crocodile. God, had she been afraid to tell him, of his reaction.

She had read enough on the topic to know that she shouldn’t feel responsible for the abuse, she just couldn’t help it. The guilt, the shame , they were always with her, even after so much time. Wherever she went, she expected to be judged if her past got out  After all, how could a strong woman like her let such things happen? How could she? How could she live with herself? The answer was simple; she couldn’t, not for a long time. It was the reason why she had given responsibility for her life to Luffy in the first place.

Zoro hadn’t judged her though, had even known before, and she had been oblivious to it because apparently he just didn’t care. He didn’t care that she had been weak. Didn’t care that she was damaged, that he wouldn’t be her first or even her 100th. Didn’t care about the things she had done, the things others had made her do or done to her. He just took her for who she was right now, and it felt absolutely exhilarating. All that she had missed after her talk with Nami crashed into her tenfold, because he accepted her for who she was. All of them would, and suddenly she felt guilty. Nami's assurances should have had the same effect, it was just… Nami had _not cared_ because she was the same as her, wasn't she? She cried, not caring for how old her wrinkled face would make her look as she smiled at him like she hadn’t done for far too long.

He did nothing, waited patiently for her to calm down, again grumpily serious.

“I meant what I’ve said back then though. I’m not sure if I can let you close, emotionally, but with things as they are… I can’t concentrate. It's become even worse since then. I didn’t mean to insult you, I’m sorry,” she finally said, after drying her tears.

His brows furrowed, “I wanted to apologize for that, you know, knowing what you’ve been through, I shouldn’t have acted that way.”

“But I told you, I liked it. It’s alright.”

He huffed at her, crossing his arms, “It’s not, we have never spoken about this kind of thing.”

“And why should we? I didn’t want you to know!”

Another huff before he casually leaned back on his hands, “Not that, sex. Should have talked about it back on Karni-Island.”

She felt the heat prickle in her cheeks, unsure why that made her blush after she had shown him her purchases and told him of her shameful past. This was nothing really, and yet it had her insecure like a schoolgirl.

A bell chimed, and it took her a while to remember what it was about, but Zoro obviously hadn’t forgotten. He had gotten up the moment he’d heard to get their order, grunting as he laid eyes on it. “That damn hag,” he grouched, throwing a red package her way before carrying the tray with deliciously smelling coffee and a bottle of sake over.

A soft gasp escaped her, the package was no package at all, but the softest piece of rope she had ever held in her hands. Zoro handed her a card saying it all.

_Way better than complementary water, it’s even cleaned!_

followed by the shopkeeper’s hastily drawn counterfeit holding her hand up in a peace sign.

She looked up at him, intending to make a joke about the old woman spying on them and trying to spice things up, but her voice got struck in her throat. The way he stared intently at her fingers playing with the bloodred, smooth present had her blushing all over. Would he stare at her like that if the rope were wrapped around her wrists? Crossed between her breasts? Rubbed against her clitoris? Hoping he wouldn’t notice, she rubbed her thighs together, trying to alleviate the sudden ache she felt. No such luck of course; his grey eye darted to her lap and up to her face, and she was acutely aware that he saw her rapid pulse in her jugular and dilated pupils. They stared at one another before he sighed, rubbing his hand over his face and hair before sitting back down.

“Damn it, Robin, we really need to have this talk, or I’ll make good on my promise right fucking now.” God, she loved it when his voice dipped that octave lower, didn’t even try to suppress the shudder rushing over her skin.

“There is not much to talk about, I believe, I talked with Nami and- ”

“ _You_ told her?” he interrupted her incredulous.

“No, I… I don’t know if you noticed, but I had a panic attack some time ago? Because, like I said, I felt guilty for feeling that way, reacting that way. I overthought and remembered. Had me sprouting arms all over, and she came to help. She offered to listen so I told her about my past. She asked me if it came up again because of you, so she already knew.” she explained.

“She knew before Karni, gave me extra money to ‘treat myself to a room’, treat myself my ass, should have heard her bitching today when she learned that I didn’t pay for the room back then… Today's on me, just so you know.”, he ranted, exasperation tangible, “I’m really sick of that Brook and Nami gossip club.”

 _Fufufufu_ , “Well it can’t be much longer, one of them is already dead, _yohohoho_ ”

He clicked his tongue in response to her questionable skull joke before prodding her to continue with her story.

“Well, Nami put my fears to rest. You're not the same, and it’s not the same if it’s you, because I want you to, so…”

He looked up at her, fixing her under his stare, making her feel self conscious in a way only he could, making her feel hot like only he could.

“Because you want me to what, Robin?” he asked as she fidgeted under his predatory glare.

In every other situation she would have hesitated to answer that question, would have been unsure. This wasn’t every other situation though. This was her and him alone, this was her sitting in her damp panties in front of a man that burned her with just a look; this was her yearning for his touch. Not just now, but for weeks, maybe even months if she was being honest with herself. Hadn’t she asked him for honesty?  It was time for just that.

“I want you to fuck me raw,” she cited his own words back to him, surprised by the huskiness of her own voice. “I want you to make me scream and beg. All those things that have been done to me, I want to _know_ they can feel good, not just fantasise about it.” Was that even a possibility? Yes, his behaviour had triggered certain… cravings in her, but that did not necessarily mean that he was interested in this kind of thing. Maybe she had misinterpreted his statement?

In fact, hadn't their last encounter gone terribly wrong because he had _not_ wanted to hurt her? What was she even doing here? He hadn't seemed disturbed by her little collection though, had he? The way he had stared at her when she had played with the rope… he had liked that, had he not? Wasn't it too late to back out anyways? He still stared at her, one leg propped up, arm lazily leaning on his knee. He seemed relaxed, but she could clearly see the tension in his bulging frame like a tiger ready to pounce. Waiting for a moment of weakness. Waiting for her admission. “I want-” she smiled, taking a deep breath, she could do that. “I want to be yours,” she finished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha, if you thought their making out on Karni island didn't fit with how this story is developing, I will prove you wrong! (Also, if you find out how I'm coming up with the islands’ names, you'll get a cookie!)  
> As always, comments are welcome, good, bad, everything goes as long as it's civil. See you next week!


	16. H

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time our two lovebirds talked and Robin made a … proposition (?). Now you'll find out how Zoro reacts and why him being into BDSM is totally canon ;p

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First an endlessly huge, humongous thank you to Rexica for beta reading this and the next chapter even though she has so many other (more important) things on her plate this week. 'tis the season to be jolly and hopelessly overworked^^’
> 
> Second, Ghost, with my currently planned schedule chapter J will be out on february 6th.

There she sat in front of him, Nico fucking Robin, the perfect fucking picture of innocence, pleadingly staring at him with her big blue eyes. Holy mother of fuck, he had not been expecting that so soon. Or at all, really, since his revelation. But would you look at that; the traumatized devil child was actually a playful little kitten.  _ Ah, you fucking asshole, don't get ahead of yourself. _ She might think all was well with her insight that, no shit, he wasn't like them, but that didn't mean that she wouldn't forget it midscene. 

He grinned at her despite his worries, poured her a cup of sake and waited for her to do the same for him. With all the tatami might as well do it the traditional way. He lifted his cup at her before he drank, surprised that it was actually really good stuff.

“I'll have you,” he said as he put the cup down again, ready for a refill.

She smiled again at him,  _ gods was she cute when she did that _ , and put her cup down, not quite empty.

“So,” she asked insecure while pouring his sake, “what happens now?”

She was nervous, fingers immediately going back to fidgeting with the rope as soon as they left the bottle.

He leaned back, resisting the urge to empty the next cup just yet. “Now we talk.”

Incredulous suited her quite well, he had to say, not a look one saw often on her features. “We talk?” She didn’t even try to hide her surprise.

He huffed at her, “Well what the hell did you expect, woman, that I would tie you up right here, let you dangle from the ceiling and have my way with you?”

She blushed and didn’t have to vocalize, those adorably rosy cheeks spoke loud and clear: that was exactly what she had been expecting. Maybe she had even hoped for it. She hid herself behind her steaming mug of coffee, shuffling uncomfortably on her knees. He knew exactly why she was doing that, and his smirk and rising eyebrow told her as much.  _ Ha, she couldn’t get much redder.  _

Her eyebrows furrowed for a moment as she recovered before she leveled him with a cool gaze, “And here we thought you were simply lost all that time while on land, turns out you of all people have been talking?”

His time to blush. He didn’t get lost, things just didn’t stay where they were! Grand Line, New World, all fucked up geography!

“Talk about what, then?” she asked, serious again.

“Limits, expectations.”

She hummed in response, clearly thinking and maybe a little bit uncomfortable. “Are you doing this with every Hookup? Talking about limits and expectations?”

“You ain’t a hookup and you know it, woman, but more or less, yeah. You can’t consent if you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”

She hummed again, smiling this time, before sipping from her coffee. “So this is about preferences? Vis-a-vis dos and don’ts? Considering all the… kinks I’ve read about down there I’d imagine it a rather tedious endeavour to find a compatible partner. Bearing in mind the relatively taboo nature of such proclivities, how have you ever found someone with the short docking times?”

Oh just fucking great, she’d gone full scientist on him again… social studies, he assumed, since she’d forgotten to dumb it down for him halfway through. It wasn’t that he hadn’t tried to learn her language, but he could only remember so many fancy words. At least she hadn't brought his… directional problems up again. Although, maybe she had...

“The bandana isn't black because it goes well with my hair, you know,” he answered tersely and her eyes lit up. “A code then?”

He could humour her if she looked at him like that, couldn’t he? “Yeah more or less. I guess people who stay in one place wouldn’t use it but it’s handy for travelers and those searching for someone new?”

“What does yours say?”, she asked, all curiosity and wonder, begging him to answer instead of brushing her off. No clue what gave her that idea, they had agreed on honesty, hadn’t they? 

So he fixed her with his stare, relishing in the attention she gave him and not at all troubled by the rough edge to his voice when he answered:

“That I’ll hurt you if you let me.”

Her breath caught, the pupils of her wide eyes grew to a point where he almost had trouble seeing the striking blue of her irises. Her cheeks flushed as she bit her lower lip, shifting her legs under her. Fuck was he hard for her. Hard as she was wet, he assumed, had to be fucking dripping. Maybe he should've ordered that bowl of ramen after all, the red welts would look fucking delicious on her pale skin.

“Would you hurt me now?” her voice barely a whisper.  _ Holy fuck, Yes! _

“No.”

Her face fell, disappointment and hurt taking over. Damn woman was better not making it about her appearance again. They had talked about that, he had even told her Perona's age, hoping it would cease her worrying.

“Look, Robin, for honesty's sake, I'd really fucking love to right now, but… Seriously, woman, think. It's all you ever do normally, what's changed?”

She looked guilty now, confused. Probably didn't even recognize herself. If he'd go back to the Sunny now telling the rest that he was being the responsible one while Robin was acting on impulses, they'd call him crazy.

Fuck, he was ill equipped to handle this situation, he was used to his partners already knowing the ropes …ugh …fuck, the damn skeleton's lame sense of humour was rubbing off...

Usually actual negotiation would be over and done with in 10 minutes. No, even if Robin were equally experienced, this wouldn't be over quick, this wasn't just about a scene to relieve the stress from weeks of sailing amongst idiots. Fuck this was potentially long term. Hopefully. He had never even thought about something like that…

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “You need to be informed.”

She nodded, still looking a bit lost since his denial.

This fucking conversation was all fucked up, wasn't it usually her telling him and the crew that they didn't care enough about doing research before jumping head over heels into potential danger? No matter how futile she probably knew it to be; talking sense into them? “You need to know what it is you want and how far you want to go. You need to know what you definitely don't want and what you're willing to compromise on, and all of that you'll have to tell me. I can't respect your limits if I don't know where they are.”

She blushed again.

He took a huge gulp of sake right from the bottle. If he had to keep talking this much, Robin wouldn't even listen because she was busy filling that laughable cup for him. She stared at him again, some strange mixture between awe and trust, irritatingly similar to how Chopper would look at him. Damn he really didn't want to think about the kid right now. How could this woman be so fucking innocent? She really looked like he had just explained that no, babies weren't brought by a fucking stork. ‘Course she was innocent, nobody had ever given her the chance to explore. Should she really be starting with him, though? He was fairly confident in his abilities, but with her past… she wasn't ready for this, and by the looks of it, she didn't care about it. About her mental health. So no, he couldn't possibly… not yet. And the fact that he had found his bunk reinforced with steel a week after Usopp and Franky had that talk with him showed that maybe he himself wasn’t quite ready for her either.

“Look,” he said again when she kept silent, “I don't expect you to do this now. Take as much time as you need. If you have questions, look it up or ask. Let's just…”  _ fuck, this is all backwards _ , “For now, what do you expect from this? What do you want from me?”

She didn't know. He could see it clear in her expressive eyes. Had they always been like that? Telling him everything her stony facade wouldn't? Her mind went 100 miles a minute, thinking  _ -finally thinking _ !- everything over. Everything she had read, everything she felt or had felt, everything he had said, and hopefully not too much of what the crone had said. He knew what she'd say before she even opened her mouth.

“Don't be sorry,” he said getting up, bottle of sake in his left hand he stretched his right out for her, “Told you to take your time, I meant it.”

She stared at him, unmoving, just long enough for him to start feeling self-conscious, before she hastily stuffed her research material and the rope with the card into her bag to finally take his hand. For a moment, he just stared dumbly as she laced her fingers between his before he made for the door. That actually felt quite fucking nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you might have noticed, that the last few chapters contained lots of talking and yes, I said there would be even more talking done in the future. That's not because I'm afraid to write the steamy stuff (I already have), but because it's important.
> 
> BDSM is all about consent and like Zoro said, you can't give consent if you have no idea what you are getting yourself into. I'm not trying to educate you guys, it's just that I've always been bothered that talking and negotiations are in many stories, fanfiction or otherwise, omitted, even though it’s a major part of any BDSM relationship. No matter if it's for just one scene or a possibly long term relationship.  
> In fact I think this should be part of any relationship, it would make many things easier.
> 
> As always, please leave a review and tell me how you liked it. Agree, disagree? Let me know!


	17. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Robin and Zoro left from that Shop with a piece of bondage rope and the resolution to try this thing between them, although 'thing’ still needs definition. That definition is what Robin is going to search for this chapter and the next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate!  
> I'd like to thank all of you who sticked with this story for so long. When I first posted it I would have never imagined that it would be this successful, or continue for so long.   
> The chapters practically wrote themselves and since working with Rexica, talking to her, I'm positively bubbling with ideas that want on paper. We even discussed children, which wouldn't be exactly sane on a pirate ship but very much hilarious. So yeah, another huge end of the year thank you to my muse and beta Rexica. Do yourself a favour and read her Disinhibition, it's a treat and has a lot more action than mine!  
> Speaking of action, would you like to read more battles? I pretty much suck at writing them but I noticed that my story is rather peaceful for a pirate story ^^’  
> Anyway, I'm glad to find you all so understanding of the slow pace things are going here.

Everything was back to normal. Or as normal as it could be on the Sunny. It was nice after all this… turmoil, really. Just like before, he would work out in the crow’s nest, sweating and grunting and utterly undisturbed by her presence. Just like before, she would read on the couch lining the nest’s wall. What wasn’t like before was the content. What she held in her hands was no exalted literature, no romance novel, nor was it an ancient text about long lost civilisations. In fact, this was entirely different yet almost nothing had changed. He’d still occasionally enquire about her reading, and she’d still tell him whenever she found something particularly interesting. 

What was different was that now it was usually her asking the questions and him trying to find the right words to explain. It was an interesting new dynamic, and at first she had assumed that he was uncomfortable with it, because while he did answer every question, he always insisted she read it up herself, sometimes more gruff than others. 

She could have assumed that he deemed himself unfit to teach her anything. Even if it was something that she had no idea about, apart from her own cravings and fantasies. She was, after all, well aware that her intellect tended to intimidate people but quickly came to the conclusion that had to be nonsense in this situation. Teaching her things she did not know about would put him in a position of power over her, and wasn’t that what this was all about? It wasn’t, she knew now, one chapter further into the book. He didn’t want any power over her she wouldn’t freely give to him and not necessarily in every aspect of their life. That was all open to negotiations. She would have never imagined that this would really involve so much talking. Of course the only references she had up until recently were relationships that both he and the books she’d read so far called dysfunctional and abusive or actual slavery. 

That also answered his behaviour, now that it was right in front of her, black on white under the caption of ‘Safety for beginners: Get more than one source of information. If your partner tries to isolate you from sources other than him or herself, you should be careful…’ hm, if only she had known that back then. 

She closed the book, watching him instead. Who would have thought that this intimidating, gorgeous beast of a man was this… this what? Patient? Considerate? Protective? Discerning? Everyone, really. Everyone who'd ever had a chance to meet him, really meet him. She too, actually, she'd just never expected to be treated in such a way by someone who … wanted to get into her pants, as Nami would say. Hadn't expected to be treated with such respect. 

After they had left the shop back on Ikori- island, both refusing any offer the old lady had made them, he had held her hand until they'd reached the main street. She’d known the imposing man to be quite sweet, too. The way he interacted with Chopper could be heartwarming, and she was sure that he had a sweet spot for children in general after she’d seen him in Water 7. Again, she just never would have expected such behaviour towards herself. She had still felt giddy about it when she'd gone to bed that evening. The next day, however, he had made unmistakably clear that he wouldn't even touch her until she had read every single purchase she had made, warned her not to rush into things - like she shamefully enough had tried to back on both Karni and Ikori. 

He'd also told her to find out what she wanted and tell him. Hadn't she already? No, she had told him on a whim whatever plagued her steamy dreams lately; she hadn't made an educated decision. All in all, she could surmise that she wasn't behaving like her normal self, not at all. This really was becoming a problem. Maybe she should try a more scientific approach. Usually when confronted with an unknown culture - and that really was what this was, a huge culture with a probably infinite amount of subcultures - she'd watch first.

In this particular situation, it was not an option. Zoro was her only in, and even though she might not be entitled to it, her previous research had made her realise that she did not want to see him with a woman other than herself. Another problem surely was that, with limited time on an island, it would be nearly impossible to find such a secretive society and conduct research in a reputable and reliable way.

The next approach, immersing herself into the culture, again failed at Zoro. He would not allow her to, not without the insight she tried to gain by the experiment. She could, of course, tie a black bandana around her right arm and go on the cruise herself. But just like she did not wish to see Zoro engaged with anyone else, she definitely did not want to be touched by anyone but him. And he wouldn't want that either if his proclamation of intended ownership was anything to go by.

She needed more books. With minimal effort, she conjured a clone in the library, and with another disembodied arm, caught the inkpot Nami had knocked over in surprise just before its contents could spill all over the freshly drawn map.

“I didn't mean to startle you,” she apologized, barely concentrating on the irritated navigator as her real self watched her sweaty swordsman wipe down his exposed torso, almost overwhelmed with the urge to lick the salty beads off his bulging muscles.

“Goddamnit, Robin, with that far away look and blush on your face, I really don't want to even think about what you guys are doing up there right now!”

Blushing in an even darker shade of red she apologized again. “We're not doing anything. I just wanted to know about our next stop.”

Nami huffed, “Yeah right. You're probably just here to rub it in that you're getting some and I'm not. Well guess what, I don't want to get some!”

Oh my, she was looking quite petulant right now. Bad day, probably. She focused all her attention in her clone, ready to listen to whatever troubled her friend. It was the least she could do, after all. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“As you wish. If it makes you feel better, contrary to your suspicion, I am not  _ getting any _ . In fact, Zoro requested I do research instead,” she offered, with only a hint of indignation that maybe made her attempt at cheering Nami up even more successful. The navigator waited just long enough to find out whether or not she had been joking before she burst out laughing, nearly toppling over. “Wait,” she tried between wheezing laughs. “Wait, so you're-” she attempted again, this time trying a calming breath before she erupted in another fit of hysterical giggles. 

“I strongly advise you to gain some control, navigator-san, if you die of an aneurysm, we'd get lost and starve at sea.”

Still wheezing, she answered. “Yeah, about that, you're telling me that Roronoa Zoro… I mean Roronoa 'cant walk a straight line without getting lost' Zoro, Roronoa ‘cut first, think later’ Zoro, told  _ you _ to do research?”

She hummed an affirmative. “Told me to think, too,” she added, causing even more manic laughter.

She smiled to herself, having improved Nami’s mood. Although she was seriously concerned about the possible aneurysms. “Speaking of aneurysms, I should probably consult with Chopper, too,” she murmured only realising she'd said it out loud when the navigator's laughter was suddenly replaced by a mad glower and an excruciating shriek of “What?!”

“Oh, Nico Robin, you will do no such thing. Chopper is a kid, goddammit, you can't talk with him about such things!”

Instead of listening to Nami’s irrational objections to talking with a doctor about medical issues, she dissipated her clone and answered Zoro's silent enquiry about the loud bang with which Nami had pushed the observation deck door open and her ensuing yelling with an innocent smile and a shrug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was it for this year. I hope to see you all back healthy in the next.


	18. I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Robin decided to put an end to her rashness and try the scientific approach which leaves the rest of the strawhats to deal with the consequences of a woman on a mission and let me tell you Nami is not taking this well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone I hope the new year started alright for you!
> 
> Ghost, thank you for reviewing despite whatever is going on in your life, hope you're doing ok.
> 
> Huge thank you goes to Rexica for proofreading this chapter and maybe more importantly, for reminding me that I planned on updating today^^’ check out her one piece fic ‘disinhibition’, it's amazing!

It's been 6 days since they had left Daquil island behind; 6 days since Robin had come back from the bustling capital of the island with a shit ton of books, and 6 days since he or anyone else of the crew apart from Chopper had seen her.

It's been four days since Robin had thrown Chopper out of his office with nothing but his emergency bag and a thank you.

It's been 3 days since Nami had started getting on his back about it.

It's been 15 minutes since he became aware that Nami knew exactly what Robin had been researching recently, and more grating, why.

“Honestly, how can you be so careless? What if we were attacked by the marines now, or other pirates? I don't know what you've done to her, but it must be pretty fuckig bad if she won't even let Chopper help her!” She screamed at him and like the last 483 times this day didn't care about the spit she got in his face. He let out an exasperated sigh, trying for the umpteenth time to explain to her that he had nothing to do with Robin's decision to barricade herself in the infirmary.

“Not quite sure if you're calling me an idiot or a monster there, Nami, but I have nothing to do with this.”

She ignored his objection, steamrolling right ahead, “Oh really?! Then why hasn't she come out, and why the fuck is she in the infirmary of all places?”

“Fuck if I know; she hasn't told me shit. Robin's a grown ass woman, so let her be if she thinks she needs to be in there for whatever reason. She is eating the meals and drinking all the coffee Sanji sets aside for her, and I'm sure she'll hand Chopper anything he needs. Maybe she's writing a fucking encyclopedia or something. I. Don't. Know.” He was positively seething, bad enough that  _ he _ was starting to worry even though he knew how engrossed the woman could become when reading something interesting. But Nami's constant screeching… He loved her dearly and would maim anyone even thinking about harming her, but if she wouldn't soon stop getting in his face like that he'd cut her fucking head off!

She stopped the screeching alright, glared at him instead. Fists balled, jaw tightly pressed together. “Oh really? Well, isn't it your fucking job to know as her fucking master or whatever the fuck you are to each other now?” She hissed, thankfully quiet enough so he could be sure the rest of the crew hadn't heard, but damn… he leaned back against the railing, all the fight knocked out of him as he stared blankly at the woman he thought his sister. 

He hadn't stopped to think how this would affect her. This whole thing had to be… she was probably disgusted by both of them; him for wanting Robin like that and her for allowing it. Actually, he'd thought she understood, having been the one to tell Robin that her cravings were alright and that it wouldn't be the same, but… maybe she wasn't as sure about it as she'd let on… still… this utter contempt directed at him. Fuck, what kind of vermin did she take him for? She'd known him now for how long? It's not like he became a different person just because she now knew of preferences that had always been there, for fuck's sake.

“Fuck you, Nami.”

She gasped, and her brown eyes widened as she seemed to - for the first time - think about the words that had left her mouth. She looked away from him, shame evident on her features. “I'm sorry, Zoro, I… I shouldn't have…” she stammered before coming to stand to his right, staring out at the idle waves with an air of desperation. He didn't turn to face the sea with her, wanted her in his sight. Damn, these were about the only situations he actually missed his full sight. He huffed in hesitant acceptance. It's not like he was one to hold grudges, but damn, that had cut quite deep.

“I really am, Zoro. I  _ know _ it's not the same, I  _ know _ you won't go against her will, I  _ know _ you respect her… it's just so hard to comprehend.” her voice was small, tiny even. She  _ was  _ sorry, didn't know how to deal with the situation and lashed out like she always did. Shit, maybe they should have been a bit more careful with her. But how the fuck could they if she'd been sticking her nose in their business before they had even known what their business was?

She sighed again. She'd been out of sorts for a while, now that he thought about it. Hadn't even noticed… too busy with his own shit. 

“What's your problem?” He asked, glad that his lack of tact never seemed to be a problem on this ship. She knew exactly what he'd been trying to ask.

“I don't know, really, I guess… I guess now that you two have each other, I'm afraid to lose you?” She answered with a sad chuckle, belittling her own feelings. 

Ah fuck. Of course. The horrible fear of losing her loved ones was deeply ingrained in her very being. In his own, too, if he was being honest. The thought of losing any of them as he had lost Kuina… debilitating. It had to be so much worse for her. He didn't think, just shifted slightly to tug the redhead against his chest. She stumbled a bit before fisting her tiny hands in his robe and bawling her eyes out like a little girl. 

Should really have thought about this sooner. As tough as she was, one did not simply forget the years of fear and dread. He could only imagine how life under Arlong's thumb must have been for her. Her whole village held hostage, the only family she still had solely alive because she did not act up. Gods, the responsibility for a whole island on her shoulders when she'd been just a kid. Everytime coming back from a heist fearing that they'd be gone, fearing that she'd done something wrong, taken too long… fuck.

“Should've said something sooner, idiot.”

She huffed, voice quivering, “oh yeah, and what then? Knowing you, dumbass, you would have felt responsible, and god knows what you'd have done then. Robin deserves this. You do too, I guess”

She wiped her nose on his robe and he let her, the thing was already soaked anyways and gods forbid Nami would use her own clothes for that, would add it to his debt, most likely. Whole thing was already ridiculous; it wasn’t like anyone would ever be able to pay her back with her horrendous interest rates, and they wouldn’t dump her ass on a fucking island if she lifted their debt… hell, they wouldn’t even find an island without her. Not quite ready to let go, she shifted in his arms to lean against the dry side of his chest. Damn witch… he pat her head. 

“Nothing will change, you know, even if we end up together. We're still nakama,” he offered after a stretch of silence.

She pushed away from him, looking up with a scrutinizing gaze, “even if? Isn't that uncharacteristically pessimistic of you?”

He scoffed as she settled against the railing again. “It isn't. It's realistic. She doesn't know if she's ready for a relationship, or if she ever will be, and I won't pressure her into anything she doesn't want.”

She hummed in agreement, “Well, she doesn't want emotionless sex, that's for sure… we've had enough of that to last a lifetime… more than one.”

He answered with a grunt,  _ yeah, no shit. _

“To be honest, I'm surprised. With all the tension between you two the last couple of months, I would have guessed you'd jump each others’ bones the moment you were alone,” she laughed punching his shoulder just hard enough to hurt herself.

“That obvious, hu?” Damn… 

“Ya, not sure if the others have connected the dots yet, but they definitely know that  _ something's  _ up. Sanji's probably in denial though.”

He snorted a laugh, ha, damn cook! They stood there in companionable silence, her leaning over the rails, watching the sunset, and him with his back against them, watching her. 

She too deserved happiness, and he wouldn't gain his own on her back. She was right - he tended to make rash decisions when it concerned the crew, fueled by his own fear of losing them. Sometimes those decisions were detrimental to himself, not caring about what his sacrifice would do to the rest of the crew, because he had decided that it would be best for them. Thriller bark was to forever remain a secret between himself and Sanji, because if Nami and the others thought him rash now, what would they think if they knew about that?

This did not only concern himself though. He had to think of Robin, too, but…

“Next time come to us sooner.” he repeated.

“I will.”

“We'll figure something out, but you won't lose us just because we may or may not be in a relationship,” he affirmed.

“If all else fails, we could always adopt you,” Robin chimed in from the outer door of the infirmary, huge tome pressed to her chest, teasing smile on her lips. Nami gasped and whirled around, glaring accusingly at the elusive archeologist.

“Don't you dare make fun of me, Robin, I've been sick with worry!” She seethed.

Robin apologized, had lost track of time. Had she even bathed in the past few days? Her black hair was a mess, hanging in greasy strands, dark circles under her eyes… had she slept at all?

“You look like shit, woman.”

She didn’t take it as an insult, no hurt tainting the proud smile she carried as she approached him. It seemed like they were finally over this shit. About fucking time, too, because even if she was smelling like a dying ferret right now and looking more like Brook than herself, the woman was still fucking gorgeous. “Here,” she offered him the book. Not a real book he now saw, just millions of pages stacked together, hastily glued at the back. “I've done my research, as you requested. I've added a list of my personal preferences and drafted a provisional contract, both of which are in the appendix. I'll go and have a bath now, then we can discuss any adjustments you'd like to make after I'm done,” she stated before sauntering off without another glance back.

He stared at her retreating form. Dumbstruck. He looked at the heavy thing in his hands, ignoring  the witch’s hysterical cackle at his expense. 

Damn… she really  _ had _ written a book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little Zoro/Nami sibling interlude. I've always seen them like this and since the strawhats are a big happy family I think it's important for them to make sure this relationship won't disturb the peace on the Sunny. Easier said than done with everyone having issues of some kind.   
> Like I said, hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you think!


	19. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Robin finally emerged from the infirmary to present Zoro with the fruit of her research, he sure can't tell her she's uninformed anymore, so now it's time to take a relaxing bath - or as relaxing a bath you can take when you have to worry about drowning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back and thank you all for the comments and kudos and favs! As always a huge thank you to Rexica for beta-reading this, she just posted her newest chapter for disinhibition and let me tell you things get steamy over there… at least in Zoro’s dreams and fantasies.
> 
> As for this story, we’re getting there… Next chapter, I promise!

****

When she reached the bath, steam was already billowing through the room. “Mind if I join you, Chopper?” she asked, knowing that he was the only one not locking the door. He didn’t, so she tiredly undressed, wrinkling her nose at her own stench. There was no chance Zoro hadn’t noticed this odor. God this was embarrassing, although she had a hunch that he hadn’t really minded. He wouldn’t have called her out like that if he did, right? She hadn’t planned to go to him in her state, but she simply hadn’t been able to resist the situation. When she’d heard them talk outside the door… she really was sorry for worrying Nami so much. She hadn’t known how concerned she had been, not only about her withdrawal but about the possible ramifications of this relationship. Would it be a problem for the rest of the crew, too?

She sat down next to Chopper on one of the small stools in the shower.

“Do you want me to wash your back? Don't take this the wrong way, Robin, but you reek.” the little doctor offered. She had probably ruined his bath. “That would be nice, thank you, I’m sorry, this must be hard with your sense of smell.”

He squealed, called her an asshole for worrying about him like that; he was a doctor after all, he was used to unpleasant smells. For a moment, she relished in the slight scratches the sponge left on her back. Inhaled the faint fragrance of roses and black tea, felt her taut muscles relaxing even before she sunk herself in the hot bath. 

“Thank you for letting me borrow your workspace,” she broke the silence.

“Hm, you're welcome, I know how parochial you humans can be with your sexuality, so of course you wouldn't want to work where everyone could walk through.” he answered and started massaging her back.

_ Parochial _ … Zoro hadn’t seemed to be narrow minded at all, seemed quite outspoken and open about this topic. Could one really talk about narrow minds in this crew? She wouldn’t know- before this thing with Zoro, she’d only ever talked with Chopper about this. Did the men talk amongst themselves about it, or did they too only ever confide in their doctor? Did they even do that? The way Nami had reacted some weeks ago, she doubted she’d talk to him about anything even remotely sexual. Zoro probably too, most of the time he viewed the reindeer as a kid. “Ne, Chopper, you  _ do _ keep your emergency kit around, right? Should Zoro have a heart attack upon learning that you co authored,” she asked as she rubbed the grime of 6 days from her arms.

“Of course I do, Robin, but do you really expect him to read the whole thing?”

Fufufufu, “He better, he’s the one who told me to research.” It still stung, the fact that he had been acting all mature while she’d tried to rush into adventure. How had that happened?

“It’s good he did. He actually has experience with this stuff. You don’t,” he reprimanded her, as his tiny hooves pressed into the tight knit muscles of her upper back. She huffed, even the kid had had more knowledge than her. Now, that wasn’t fair. She did not even see him as a child most of the time but a scholar, just like her. He was her equal. “So, he actually talks with you about that?” she digged.

The boy giggled, “No, he never does, always thought he was too shy, but apparently that wasn’t the problem. I...” he fidgeted behind her, uncomfortable with how this conversation was turning out. He idolized Zoro greatly, she knew that, looked up to him, bordered on reverence.

“I’m telling you this as a friend, not as his doctor. I can’t tell you anything about that, so don’t even ask!” he squealed, “I could smell it on him sometimes, when he’d come back from land, or when he’d suddenly disappeared during some celebration and we all thought he’d gotten lost while sitting on a chair…”

It made sense. He got lost so often, he had more than enough time to hook up with somebody without her seeing. He’d probably just always been careful whenever the rest of the crew was around. She could understand. Luffy and Usopp would make fun of him or ask questions he didn’t have the patience to answer, Sanji would maybe try to protect the fair maidens from the uncouth gorilla and Nami… From the exchange she had witnessed earlier, she’d say he wanted to keep her away from these things altogether, protect his little sister. They were unbelievably cute like that, ripping their heads off more often than not, and then.. something like this…

She turned to Chopper, encouraging him with a smile to move on. He furrowed his brows in something similar to irritation. “It was.. strange, at first. I was familiar with the scent of sex or arousal, and the smell of blood, but… he used to smell like all of that. It wasn’t like he had gotten in a fight. Usually, when he came back from a fight, the blood on him wouldn’t be saturated with endorphins. It was different. I must admit that I don’t specialize in this area, I just assumed it had to be personal preference. Sanji never smelled of blood when he came back, he only smells of sex. But Sanji also only ever smells of women.” He rambled on, having seemingly forgotten that she was still in front of him, washing her hair and still very much listening to everything he said. Did that mean Zoro also smelled of men? Now wasn’t that an interesting turn of events? It would certainly explain all that tension between him and Sanji, fufufufu. Now, that was probably one of her guilty pleasures speaking. In all seriousness though, it did make sense, sexuality aside, with his sense of direction - or lack thereof - he surely couldn't be too picky, could he?

“I’m not sure what was up with that, though, it’s like he has never sex with them but doesn’t mind hurting them? This is so confusing! How is that even a thing? It would be so much easier if you'd only mate for procreation, like any other  _ normal _ animal!” the little doctor ranted.

Fufufufu. “Now where would be the fun in that, Doctor-san?” she asked and plucked the reindeer boy from his stool to carry him with her into the bathtub, to the shallow end where they were submerged just enough to relax some muscle but not enough to render them completely immobile. He snuggled against her chest like he always did, normally preferring Nami, since she wouldn’t drown with him, but he obviously had to make due.

“Do you think Zoro will mind this, us bathing together like this?” he asked after some silence, a hint of sadness in his usually jovial voice.

So Chopper worried about their potential relationship as well… She scratched him between antler and ear, just like she knew he liked it, “I doubt it. In fact, I’d plead to take him with us, then we could bath in the deep end of the pool like grown ups.”

He giggled, mood immediately elevated, “Yeah, that would be nice, he never lets me drown for too long.”

She pat his fur, as it kept soaking up more and more water, draining his energy with every minute. Sometimes he really was just a boy, even if he was already 17. Maybe it was his devilfruit that had altered his lifespan so much that now he matched neither reindeer nor human. It was really easy to forget, since she could discuss things with him like she could've discussed with all the old archeologists back on Ohara. Had it  been the same for them? Had they too sometimes forgotten that she had been just a kid? She assumed not, they had always been way too adamant that there were things not suitable for her age. She had hated that, had wanted to know everything there had been to know. Maybe that was why she would talk with Chopper about everything. She saw herself in him…

“You shouldn’t worry about Zoro though. He’s a swordsman, I administer every vaccine and prophylaxis anyway no matter what he does in his spare time.” he muttered drowsily, at the very edge of consciousness. 

She hummed in appreciation, not that she’d been worried about that, Chopper monitored their health tightly. Together with Law’s Heart Pirates they were most likely the healthiest crew to sail the seas. She closed her eyes.

“Hadn’t smelled of anybody since we’re back together. ‘Cept for you.”

Hm… that had a nice sound to it. Relaxed.

“I like how you smell together.”

Sweet. They’d have to talk another time. 

Sleep claimed her. 

Finally. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope I didn’t lose you all over Zoro’s preferences or lack thereof, I just figured a man with his directional issues has to be lucky if he stumbles across a human in general and then to find one with the same kink... can’t be too picky, right? right? Anyway, from here on it will be just Robin sooo ... please keep on reading?
> 
> heads up: Next chapter will be different on ffnet and ao3  
> On that topic, do you prefer a detailed warning on what to expect or is it enough to know that there will be kink in some way?


	20. J

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Robin Fell asleep in the bath after talking with Chopper. The planned negotiations with Zoro were postponed, but don't worry they did happen off screen, so to say. Now we'll finally see some action!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome Back, this is the chapter you all have been waiting for, I think, not sure I can deliver. Huge thanks to Rexica for beta reading and for calling me out whenever I went ahead of myself, without her these chapters would make a lot less sense!
> 
> There is not toooo much going on, but if you don't want to read anything explicit pack your bags and read this on ffnet, if you're here for the steamy bits: Have a seat and enjoy the ride!

Franky knew. He was quite sure about that. It had started with little things, like inconspicuous thumbs ups and suuupers he’d directed at him. At first, he’d simply chalked it up to the discussion they’d had. For the longest time, he had thought it was Franky still being hung up on his suuuper manliness. Now, he knew better, standing in the freshly soundproofed crow’s nest. Gods damn it. He should thank him… awkward as it would be... Though he’d probably just congratulate him and … who the fuck knew what that pervert would do? Gods this crew’s pervert-ratio was seriously fucked up, but damn if this new soundproofing didn’t take care of a few things he’d been worrying about. And right on time, too. He tucked Franky’s card that informed him of the suuuper new upgrade to his ‘gym’, as it was written on the card, in his haramaki. No need for Robin to know about that improvement just yet.

He undid his swords from his side and knelt down on the floor. Had at least another 15 minutes until Robin would come to join him on his shift, and his swords were in dire need of some care after their earlier run in with the marines. Carefully, he laid out the various utensils he would need, making a mental note to restock on choji oil during their next stop. 

He held Shûsui up with two hands, giving it a slight bow. For all it's nagging and its insistence on him being just a brat, it served him well. Its heavy weight grounding. He drew it with his left hand, using his right to gently tap any debris from its black sheath. _He was nervous. Uncharacteristically so. He'd barely ever been nervous before._ _Not even for_ his _first time… not like this. Back then, he hadn't really cared, not about his performance and not about the girl either. Had been an itch to scratch for the both of them. But this? With Robin? It was more._

He used the point of the small brass hammer to remove the mekugi and carefully knocked the blade from its tsuka.  _ This certainly would be easier if they didn't have to plan ahead, but they'd both agreed that, as pirates, they couldn't indulge whenever they wanted to. There had to be relative safety. _

The Seppa and the ornate handguard were next.  _ But damn this suspense _ . When he only held the naked steel in his hands, he wiped the blade down.  _ Yes, according to the communication logs Nami had stolen from the marines that fleet they'd clashed with were the only vessels in the vicinity. Nobody there was left in fighting condition, and the only reinforcement were Smoker and Tashigi still 3 days away from their current position, which was ample time for both play and recuperation. _

He removed residual oil and blood from the blade and what had soaked under the Seppa.  _ In all honesty, Smoker might be the marine to walk Luffy to the gallows one day, but they didn't really pose a threat. Probably didn't  _ want _ to pose a threat. If Tashigi were to walk in on them, she'd probably stutter and fall on her face, trying to get away from them _ . 

Carefully, he dusted the blade with the uchiko ball.  _ Ha, would be a nice change if she were the one not able to look him in the eye _ . 

He wiped again.  _ Still, even without the threat of marines, there were a hundred ways this could go to shit.  _

He scrutinized the bare blade, found it  devoid of any blemishes.  _ Fuck, he wasn't even sure if she'd come up.  _

With a soaked oilcloth, he distributed a thin sheen along the black blade. _ And what if she did come up? Would she even enjoy herself? What if, even after hours of discussions, this turned out not to be what she wanted at all? What if he would just add to the scars? What if she panicked? _

He reattached the handle, this time using the hammer's head to insert the mekugi.  _ God damn it, so what if she panicked? So what if she'd put a premature stop to it? It wouldn't change a damn thing because he would still be helplessly lost in the enigma that was Nico Robin. Damn.  _

**_“You’ll be fine, boy.”_ ** He scoffed, resheathed the condescending blade. Bowed before it, boy his ass…

He took Kitetsu next and bowed. It was the real boy between the two of them. Insolent, too. And still, it kept him alive. Always. It would slaughter everything in their way, but it always kept him safe. Recently, it also understood that the rest of the crew was off limits, would drive him to protect them itself. He drew it. _ What even took her so long? He could only hope that she wouldn't fall asleep again, like she had two weeks ago after presenting him with the result of her 6 day seclusion. Nami had to pull her and Chopper out, while the shitcook had bled all over the fucking deck imagining himself saving his beautiful, naked Robin-chwan from drowning. _

He removed the tsuka.  _ Why did she insist on this elaborate beauty regimen? _ Tsuba and Seppa.  _ Before  _ and _ after! _

He wiped the blade.  _ Couldn’t be because of him. He would have even taken her back then, when she’d emerged from the infirmary, filthy as she’d been. _

He dusted the blade.  _ To her, it was important enough to put in writing. _

Wiped again.  _ Yet another thing from her past they’d have to work through. _

He inspected the blade.  _ No problem, whatever made her comfortable. _

Oiled the blade.  _ She should be comfortable _ .

Reattached the handle.  _ With him.  _

**_“Pity we can’t kill her if she isn’t.”_ ** shut up. Idiot, mocking him like that.  **_Snicker_ ** .

He took Wadô, bowed to it. His most treasured blade, it had stayed with him through all his struggles of the physical or emotional kind. It was his strength, his backbone, Kuina was.

Removed the tsuka.  _ She would be comfortable. _

Wiped the blade. _ They’d talked enough; everything was clear between them. _

Dusted. _ He knew what to watch out for, when to stop. _

Wiped, polished. 

She arrived. Through the latch. Beautiful as always. Short dress. Hot damn, lacy black stockings… suspenders showing. Fucking hell, she was hot.

“You’re late,” he said, eye fixed on his blade, inspecting it, hiding both his interest in her attire and his fear of creaming his pants. “I am,” she admitted, knowing that there was no room for excuses, fidgeting.

“Undress,” he ordered, and he could hear her breath hitch. Still she obeyed, and he chanced a look her way. She reached behind her back to unzip the tight slip of nothing with rosy cheeks. Her fingers were shaking as she brushed the flimsy material off her shoulders, over her wide hips, down her legs. She revealed her impressive bust, barely contained in black silk. Fuck. Unclipped the bra at the front, let them spill, but shame got the better of her, hid them behind her arms. 

Nervousness and insecurity oozed from her like blood from a cut. He raised his gaze to meet hers. Recognition hushed over her features. She remembered- he’d looked at her like that before, he’d seen her tits before, and he had fucking loved them. Her arm fell away, fucking perfect.

She shimmied out of her panties, revealing neatly trimmed black curls, lips shaved clean, already glistening from excitement. Fuck. When she reached to undo her garter belt, he stopped her, wanted her to leave that on, as much as it would test his control.

“Get the rope.” he ordered, concentrating back on Wadô, rubbing the drenched cloth along its length. She didn’t have it, hadn’t known to bring it. He clicked his tongue when he felt her arms sprouting in the women’s quarters. They dissipated. She got the hint, no abilities without explicit permission. She’d written that down herself. Was she testing him?

With one tap against his forearm, he put the blade back into its tsuka just as she attempted to put her dress back on, cute.

“I told you to get the rope, not to get dressed,” he said as he put the mekugi back in, looking at her. Her eyes were wide, hand still clasped around the flimsy thing she called clothing. She fidgeted again but didn’t budge.

“Robin.” No pet names. She’d been adamant about that. She looked at him. Doubt shining in her beautiful eyes. She worried her bottom lip, deep breaths. She let go of her dress, bowed her head to him, mumbled something.

He put Wadô back in its pure white sheath. “You gotta speak louder than that, Robin.”

“Hai, Zoro-sama.” Quiet, just loud enough. She was embarrassed. “may I leave?”

He grunted an affirmative, seemingly ignoring her as she climbed through the latch.

He bowed to his blade.

**_“It's alright”_ ** Yeah… it will be.

He put Wadô next to the others, concentrating on Robin's nervous energy slowly and quietly descending the ropes. The others were fast asleep, their tranquil energies right where they were supposed to be. He wouldn't send her out there in nothing but a pair of heels and stockings if it weren't safe. Not yet, anyway. She was halfway across the deck, nervousness quietly giving way to excitement. It was a dark night outside, the moon barely showing, hidden by thick clouds that, according to Nami, wouldn't cause more than a slightly wet ship. That would keep her from seeing Robin was pretty much naked even if she woke up while she was in the room. 

He huffed. Her power again. Apparently Robin did not want to take that risk. He hadn't looked at her to see her crossed arms when he'd called her out on her powers before; she had to know that he was observing the ship. Still she disobeyed. He ignored the throbbing in his pants, like he'd done countless times that day. Every day since he'd read the few pages of her manifesto she'd pointed out to him, if he was being honest. The list had baffled him. All the things she wanted to try, things she'd even insist on… his imagination had run wild. Fuck. Concentrate. He was responsible for her, for her safety. Concentrate. The others were still sleeping, no ships in range of his Haki, no ships close enough to see her barely clad figure climbing up the ropes to the crow's nest. He got up, winced at the friction against his way too tight pants, and sat down on the couch.

When she pulled herself through the latch, she was flushed, and when she looked at him, she knew that he was aware of her unauthorized use of devil fruit ability. Her head bowed, “I apologize, Zoro-sama.”

He scoffed, “we both know that won't do.”

She knew, came to him on wobbly legs, unexpectedly compliant. The hesitation she had shown before was gone as she lay down across his lap, ass on his right, assuming he wanted it in sight. He did, but god fucking damnit, he missed his other eye. To see her ass, flawless back, and pale neck all at once… how was her back this … immaculate? With all she had told him, he would have expected it to be littered with ragged scars much worse than his own. Fuck, he wanted to leave his mark on her. Couldn't though, he wouldn't dare, even if she'd somehow want to try. Too dangerous. If she were ever to be caught by marines, the sick and twisted ones… They'd take his marks and turn them into something toxic, use them against her, torture her with them. He couldn't risk that. He knew her to be strong, she'd resist their mind games… but what if she didn't, if her mind was as deeply scarred as her body by all means should be? He wouldn't risk that.

He'd thought she'd hesitate again, but when he pushed her in the right position, ass in the air, cheeks parted, lower lips completely exposed, he knew. He gave her slit a gentle stroke, fingers barely touching, and she answered with the most delicious whimper, arching from his lap.

He held her down with his forearm on her back, elbow wedged between her shoulder blades, wouldn't do if she squirmed off. 

Fuck, her ass was a fucking piece of art. Plump and lush, all the running did her good.

He kneaded one cheek, fitting his large hand just so. One experimental slap, another whimper.

“Now, now, be nice, Robin,” he scolded.

“Thank you”

Another slap, harder this time. “Thank you, Zoro-sama!” She called out as he watched the enticing jiggle of her cheeks. With every slap her body’sily reaction became more expressive. Thanking him with more vigor each time, pleading for more whenever he'd halt to caress her abused, bright red flesh. Fuck, next time he'd have to have her the other way round, right now he could only imagine the flush on her cheeks, the tears welling in her lust-filled gaze, the parted lips, pleading for more. Never heard something more enticing than her breathless whimpers. God damnit, had he ever been this hard? Felt like he'd burst any second. She didn't fare much better, she was fucking dripping, whole body quivering.

“Z- Zoro-sama, please.” Her voice nothing but a strangled mewl.

“Please, what?”

“Please, take me, Zoro-sama.” It was a petulant grumble, she didn't want to beg for that. He'd teach her. He pulled her up with a fistful of hair, her back arched, her perfect tits strutting out, lips parted in a surprised yelp. Gods, he wanted them around his dick, but no blowjobs even though she hadn't been sure about it in the beginning. She had wanted to stay on the safe side, had it in writing now.

“Not yet,” he husked in her ear, as he plunged two fingers in her tight, wet cunt, briefly wondering who the real masochist was between them, because right now, he wanted nothing more than to sheath himself to the hilt in her quivering flesh. “Don't you dare cum without permission, Robin.”

He worked her to the brink, pulling back when the trembling inside her became too much, whenever her body tensed up for too long. He relished in her protesting mewls, her desperate pleas for mercy, for relief. Her expression an alluring mixture between agony and lust. Holy fuck, he’d never thought to see such an expression on calm and collected Robin. Fuck, he wanted her. Not yet. He waited for her to relax again, to come down from her almost high, before he started again. Her scent hung thickly in the room, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep this up for much longer without going fucking insane. By the time he shoved her off him to flip her around and have her reposition herself against the back of the couch, she was a sobbing mess, more liquid than flesh and bone, and he was walking the very edge of sanity. 

He fisted his wet hand in her hair, pushing her face in the cushions while finally freeing his painfully hard cock. With his left hand, he aligned her hips, fingers digging into the hollow of her hip as he finally - _ finally- _ shoved himself inside her with one hard jab. She came around him with a strangled cry, holy fuck, he wouldn’t last long like this. She tried to milk him for everything he had, as she shoved her tensing body against him, god fucking damn, so tight! 

Just when he thought he couldn’t hold back any longer, it stopped. She went slack, hips tipping to the right where they weren’t held up by him. What the fuck? His dick slipped free when she fell, the air cold compared to her liquid heat. “Robin?” no response. What the fuck? He checked her breathing, then her pulse, elevated but steady. Fuck. He rolled her to the side, tilted her head back, pulled her arm from under her, and aligned her legs. Damn woman had fucking fainted on him. What the fuck?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, yeah...that’s that… I hope you did like it a little, the problem with sexscenes is that things might be fun and hot, but it’s all personal preference and if you’re not in the mood things might seem ridiculous… 
> 
> Anyway, next week (Yes, next week) Robin will wake up and again, ffnet and ao3 versions will differ. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	21. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time the two finally had sex, just didn't go quite as planned. Robin fainted, now it's time to wake up and deal with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, glad to see you're back for more. As I said last chapter, this is different from the ffnet version, again, nothing too bad but do pick your poison.  
> Talking about explicitness, if you're missing intensity and detail in the scenes, there's a reason for that. Just stick with it.
> 
> I was asked about my update schedule, the next 3 chapters are already more or less done and some further down the line. I hope I can keep my creativity up between semesters. Usually it takes a hit once the stress is gone, but I will definitely finish this. As of now there are enough ideas to bring me up to chapter S.  
> Also, with all my free time I want to get working on my original piece again. I've had that story around for ages and my ties with my own characters are stronger than with Zoro and Robin so if at some point they change for no apparent reason I probably mixed them up, please do call me out on that!
> 
> Now if everything works out the way I want it'll be as follows, if chapters go together like this and the last one, they'll be one week apart. If they are not explicitly tied together, it'll be two weeks. So not exactly regular, but regular enough. If I feel like it I'll treat you one extra for my birthday, just because I like the attention;-p
> 
> Consider subscribing so you don't miss any.

She woke up, cloaked in the calming smell of cloves and green tea, her body sore but not uncomfortably so like it had been in her past, her muscles permeated by a dull ache. There was a certain slickness between her legs that should alarm her but didn’t, the heavy green fabric draped over her naked body grounding her in a reality where she didn’t have to fear anything. Her eyes took more time to focus than she would have liked, but when they did, they landed on a shock of green hair and a heavily muscled back.  _ Scars on the back are a swordsman’s shame _ . He did not feel shame for any of those scars, she knew. Most of them were from his deal with Kuma back on Thriller Bark. He had obtained each and every one of the numerous blemishes by protecting them, keeping them safe. He always did that. Just like he did now, keeping watch over them, over her. He was meditating, his three trusted swords before him. Sometimes she wondered if he could communicate with them; it was said that great swords had a soul after all. 

For how long had she been out? It was still dark outside, just as dark as when she had tiptoed across the deck in nothing but stockings and a pair of heels that made entirely too much noise. She had tried to use her Haki, to assure herself that everyone was fast asleep, but the fear of getting caught had crushed her concentration to bits. What would they have thought of her? Walking around shamefully exposed? What would they think if they'd found out that the thrill had made her throb? How … how very lewd of her. What would they think of her if they'd known of her shameful begging for more abuse? Oh god, had they heard? Her throat burned, she must have been quite vocal, oh no, please… and still, as much as she feared the possibility, it had her tingling all over again. Oh, what would become of her? There was no going back now. She no longer had to fantasize how it could be to completely relinquish control to someone trusted. Now, she knew how utterly invigorating, how liberating it felt. Now, she knew that she wanted it again. 

Someone trusted. That’s what it all came down to, really. She put her life in his hands, and she knew no harm would come to her. No matter what he would do to her, what he would make her do, he would keep her safe. When she had streaked across deck, she had not been alone; he had been with her every step of the way, keeping watch. She knew that, had known, and yet it had not made the experience any less exciting. It warmed her heart, made it throb in a way quite unfamiliar. 

They had agreed on the middle ground between friends with benefits and relationship. They couldn't go on with their hormones running haywire, but at the same time, she was not ready for the commitment, the attachment, which was ridiculous seeing how they already were family. He hadn't ridiculed her for it, had accepted her inhibitions without even batting an eye, but had assured her with a wide grin that she'd be getting there. In this very moment, she honestly believed him. She should trust him with her feelings just as much as with her body, he had proven over and over again that he deserved her trust. In reality, she couldn't, couldn't risk feeling more for him than she already did. He wouldn't betray her, he was loyal to a fault but... at some point, he'd have to realise just how damaged she was. He'd been perfectly patient with her so far, but at some point he had to realise that she was more trouble than she was worth.

“You worried me there for a moment, passing out like that.” he interrupted her musings, the dark husk from before gone from his voice, replaced by a strain she couldn’t quite place.

She winced as she sat up, her bottom quite raw. She pulled his robe tight around her shoulders for unnecessary modesty or comfort, she didn’t know. “I’m sorry, it was… intense.” An understatement. Though her mind was foggy on the details, she was fairly certain that she had never felt anything even remotely similar nor had she ever thought it possible. Foggy? Actually, she had no memory whatsoever after her orgasm. She must have fainted then. That explained the strain, didn’t it, if he was anywhere near as pent up as she had been … 

“You didn’t... finish, did you?”

“No.”

What now? Would they continue where they'd let off? Come to think of it, he hadn't allowed her release when it had overcome her, so, should she apologize? For all they had talked about this, neither had thought to discuss this particular outcome… She got up, wobbly legs almost giving out beneath her, to… to do what exactly? While he had obviously known well enough how to pleasure her, she had absolutely no idea how to return the favour. Well, she did have a general idea, but how to actually do it? Before, she would have just done whatever he signaled her to do, not worrying about her performance and how it would make her look. It was frightening really. In her past, fear alone had made her comply. She would do whatever disgusting things they expected of her because she had known her punishment to be infinitely worse. Sometimes they would punish her because she hadn't understood what they'd wanted from her, but with Zoro… As quiet as he usually was, his behaviour had been oddly communicative. With just a furrow of his  brows, he had made her forget her shame at her own nudity. The slightest inclination of his head had told her where and how to be; the dark rumble in his voice had turned her brain and all her reservations to mush. Terrifying, if she didn't trust him as much as she did.

Now the mood was gone, her mind back in working condition, and she stood there self-consciously and increasingly worried that she had disappointed him. She reached out, hesitant. It felt right going to him, but what would she do then?

“If you touch me now, woman, I'll pound you through the fucking floor.” The raw need in his voice reverberated all the way to the juncture of her legs, and for all the insecurity she had felt mere moments ago, she knew with absolute certainty that, “I wouldn't mind that.”

She wove her fingers into the short hair on the back of his head as she walked around him. He sighed, let his head roll back on his neck, his eye finding hers instantly, scrutinizing. She wasn't quite sure what he expected to see, what he was searching for—hesitation? He wouldn't be able to find that, no matter how hard he searched. He grinned at her with what she assumed to be genuine happiness, a look she had not been expecting. He didn't give her time to try and interpret it, or to get insecure again. He raised his arm towards her, and she could have seen it as an invitation to take his hand and let herself be led towards him, or she could have seen it as a request to help him up. Instead, she fell to her knees next to him, the exposed side of her neck resting against the calloused palm of his hand. Just when had she become this submissive? He hummed his approval, and she didn't resist when he pulled her towards him to crush his lips against hers. It was a searing kiss, a hungry one, all passion and teeth. When she felt the hard floor against her back, he let go of her, hand trailing over her collarbone before he opened his robe to lay her bare. 

The grin was gone and the predatory glint back again. Briefly, she wondered if she would ever again be able to watch him fight without getting aroused. Had she ever been able to?

When he touched her between her legs this time, he didn't do it to tease or to make her beg but to assure himself that she was ready for him. His rough palm pressed against her clitoris as two fingers curled to part her labia. She broke her gaze away from his, looked down to where his hand emerged and felt her cheeks redden in embarrassment at the single translucent string still connecting his fingers to her core. She gasped, more in surprise than pain when his wet hand slapped her between the legs. 

Her eyes snapped back to him; she wasn't supposed to look away like that. “Forgive me, Zoro-sama,” she breathed as his slick fingers left trails of her own wetness up her body to cool on the air. 

“You seemed plenty interested, taste yourself.”

Her lips parted to let his fingers in, eyes furrowed in confusing irritation when they never came. One of his eyebrows rose, and she knew it wouldn't be that easy. She'd have to work for it. Lifting herself up on her elbows, she inched closer to his waiting hand. Warily, she darted her tongue out, giving an experimental lick before taking his digits into her mouth to suck her own tartness off them, eyes never leaving his hungry gaze. 

She could see what he wanted her to do. What he didn't dare ask of her. She let his fingers plop free from her mouth. Could she? Could she without remembering, without conjuring? The stench, taste… wouldn't he taste the same? Roughly?

“May I taste you, now?” She wouldn't know unless she tried, right?

Again, he cocked his eyebrow at her

“May I suck your cock, Zoro-sama?”

His expression turned solemn after that. Had it not been what he'd wanted to hear? He wanted her to use the embarrassing language, didn't he?

His hand fell to rest against her hip, and when the pleasant darkness left his gaze, she saw that he wasn't put off by what she'd asked for but that worry kept him cautious.

“You sure about that, woman?”

When had he started calling her woman like that? It wasn't degrading, on the contrary, it seemed like an odd form of endearment coming from him. Skypia maybe. He wasn't the type to differentiate between men and women, and it had struck her as odd that he would condemn Enel's attack because she was  _ just  _ a woman. But if he'd seen her as  _ his _ woman... quite pretentious of her, wasn't it? He had barely even tolerated her presence on the Merry back then... maybe she was reading too much into this, a good sign really; the spell he had on her momentarily broken, and while still aroused, she could actually think this through. Was it just the situation, the scene that had compelled her to overthrow her negotiated hard limit, or did she actually want to try?

She had always hated this practice in particular. Men shoving their unwashed members in her mouth, whipping her twice for every tooth they thought they felt… forcing her to drink their bitter semen from a bowl on the floor. Crocodile had been the worst, and she was sure that it was because of the cigars. 

It’s not like she hadn’t thought about this. She had, a lot in fact, ever since they’d finalised their negotiations a week ago. It was odd really. Now that she’d had it in writing that it  _ wouldn’t _ happen, she’d become peculiarly interested. Intrigued even. She stood firm with the pet names; even though she  _ knew _ that he respected her no matter what he’d call her, the idea made her skin crawl with disgust. She was sure she wouldn’t budge on the whipping either. Some nights she could still  _ feel  _ her skin ripping from her back,  _ hear  _ the wet slap when the tight leather would make contact with bloodied flesh. No, that wouldn’t change. But this? Maybe she’d been a bit hasty declaring it a hard limit. Months ago, he had declared that he wanted all of her, and really it was the same for her. Wouldn’t she miss out if she didn’t actually  _ try _ all of him? He wouldn’t force her to continue if she became overwhelmed, if it turned out to be too much, she could always tap out. He would probably stop her before she knew herself that she couldn’t go on.

“Yes. I can't promise anything, but I'd like to try.”

He was searching again, for cracks in her resolve, she was sure. For any sign that she was not clear-headed enough to make that decision. She could practically feel his Haki sweeping over her. It took him longer than she had expected, given his statement before, but eventually he nodded. He wouldn’t help her with this, guide her way like he had before, no, he would let her explore, leaning back on his hands in open invitation.

God, he was magnificent. Without the Haramaki she could see his narrow hips and the green trail of hair that had started all of this. She knelt between his legs, fingers trembling as she unbuttoned his pants. Of course she was nervous. She’d fainted before, and if her past got the better of her now, if she backed out of this, she’d leave him without release again. Would he tire of her? Probably not, he’d been nothing but patient with her so far. Rough hand on her cheek. She looked up at him with what she assumed was an amalgam of childish fear and uncertainty. His face was serious, but even with years of practicing that stony mask of his, he couldn't really hide the raw desire shining in his eye.

He didn't say anything, didn't have to, his face said it all. 'Stop if you're uncomfortable, but I need you, woman.’ and probably some  ‘fucks’ strewn in for good measure. She knew their age gap did not matter to him, but to have a young man like him want her with all her emotional baggage and inhibitions, put aside his own needs for her to grow… it charmed her, made her oddly emotional and quite sure.

She popped open the first button and her certainty must have shown in her smile, because when she tugged on his pants, he lifted his hips to help her effort. His penis sprang free, standing tall and proud like it's owner and every bit as magnificent. He smelled more intense down here, as she had expected, and it was with a bit of embarrassment that she noted he smelled just as good even though the allspice and nutmeg dominated over the cloves. She gripped him tightly, the tips or her long fingers just barely touching, pleased with the hiss her actions had elicited. Saliva gathered in her mouth, and she wasn't quite sure if it was due to former conditioning or if his unique, alluring scent had whet her appetite. She gave him a cautious, experimental lick, skin and salt and something mortifyingly close to what she had tasted on his fingers moments before. The tip though was all himself, salt and cashew.

She drew him into her mouth like she'd been taught to do all those years ago, but unlike before, her muscles didn't tremble in revulsion, throat didn't tighten in disgust and tears didn't fall in unwanted humiliation. Instead, she felt wetness grow between her thighs, belly tighten in excited anticipation. Her other hand rested on his leg, and she felt his muscles under the skin tremble with every suck and every swirl of her tongue. It was a strange mixture of exhilaration and disturbing, having 220 pounds of ripped male quiver from her touch, it gave her a sense of power that made her inherently uncomfortable. She should relish it, just didn't. 

His hand came to rest on the back of her head, as if he'd felt her discomfort, easing it and leaving her with only the exhilaration. She took him in as far as she could, tears forming in her eyes and showing him her limit before she pressed his hand harder against the back of her head, allowing him to guide her speed, choose the depth. His answer was a strangled curse before he took full advantage of her offer.

She looked up at him, lips still firmly locked around his member, his chest heaving, gaze searing. In all her years of life, she had never seen a view more erotic than fearsome Roronoa Zoro in the throes of passion.

She hummed in satisfaction when more of the cashew flavour seeped onto her tongue and cupped his tightly drawn testicles in her free hand with the sudden revelation that she  _ wanted _ him to make her drink his essence. His reaction was instantaneous, his hand fisted her hair, pulling her mouth from him. “Robin… Fuck, woman, you don’t want… fuck.” Oh, but she did want. She looked up to him as he wanted her to, despite all she had read during her research, he explicitly demanded eye contact. “Please allow me to taste your cum, Zoro-sama.”

For a moment, he just stared at her, eye widened in surprise, then narrowed in comprehension. He reaffirmed his hold in her hair before he pushed her against his pulsing erection. He was rougher this time, shoving himself into her throat, always right to the point she had shown him and never beyond. He kept her there until she gagged before he pulled her off again, praising her for her efforts as she lapped up the thick saliva connecting them. She relished in his praise, by all means she should hate him for it, should be disgusted by her shameful display, and yet it felt so right, intoxicating almost.

“Don’t you dare spill any, Robin.” She didn’t intend to. When she could feel his semen bubble under her fingertips at the base of his shaft, she pulled back just enough so he cleared her throat. He allowed her and spurted his hot liquid right on her tongue. He was salty and nutty, with just a tinge of bitterness, and utterly delicious as he coated her tongue. He pulled back, and she held his gaze as she swallowed, showing off her tongue as proof. He nodded to the floor, “You missed some, Robin.” He was right, three tiny milky drops had spilled onto the planks of the crow's nest between his legs. She bowed low before him, eyes searching for his approving gaze before deliberately licking over the hardwood floor. 

“Well done, Robin.”

Her eyes closed in bliss as his hand found the crown of her head, much gentler this time. He kissed her, not like before, more soft whisper than screaming roar, and pulled her towards him to rest on his chest as she had back on Karni island. She felt his muscles flex under her when he lifted his head to place chapped lips on her forehead, the gesture making her smile like a little girl.

“I'm still sorry for fainting,” she murmured, embarrassed by it now that her thoughts were coming through that haze of ecstasy again. He grunted in response, “mh, I'm sorry, should have been more careful… was your first time.”

She almost laughed at the phrase, even though she knew what he meant. First time of her own free will, first time with someone she trusted… First time she'd enjoyed herself, too. She hummed as his fingers drew little patterns on the small of her back. First time snuggling up afterwards as well… wanting to stay close, to be held like that… appreciated.

He had discarded his pants and boots at some point, and she only just realised that she hadn't even seen him completely naked until now.  _ Fufufufu _ , with all the naiveté a 30 year old woman could have, she had always thought seeing each other naked would happen before sex, not after. 

Just when she started to feel the cold, he draped his robe over them, obscuring her view of his now flaccid penis. He'd been nice to look at even though not all that different from the disgusting ones she'd seen before. Funny how much emotions could change perceptions, wasn’t it? For the longest time, she had been unnerved by the amount of male genitalia around the ship. She’d even gone as far as to confirm Franky’s state herself, just so she could not be caught unaware. Ridiculous… In water 7, she had already known that none of the crew meant her any harm, and though Franky’s frame was huge and bulky… She’d come a long way since then. When they reunited, she had been so happy, so relieved and content that she hadn’t even bat an eye to Luffy’s newfound and outspoken fascination with his private parts.

“Ne, Zoro, think our captain can blow up his  _ chinchin _ with gear third?”

He groaned under her, ”For fuck's sake, woman, I'll never get those pictures out of my head again! You have no idea how bad he was when we met up again. He didn’t only talk about them, he showed off his  _ kintama  _ every chance he got… as if we don’t know what balls are. ”

_ Fufufufu _ , their captain’s time on Amazon Lilly must have been pretty interesting, if not a little unsettling for the ingenious boy. Oh, “He blows up his bones with Gear Third, doesn't he? In that case, there is no need to worry.”

He relaxed in something suspiciously close to relief, guard lowered.

“However, for his old  _ Fusen  _ technique, he doesn't need any bones in his  _ Chinchin _ ,” she added with a laugh.

“Oh, fuck you, woman!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's it for now, tell me what you thought of this and maybe consider a kudos if you've come here from ffnet just for this story I think I deserve it (and yes I'm aware that this is shameless fishing for compliments ;-p)
> 
> And since you're now out of reading material for this week at least, go check out my amazing beta Rexica's Disinhibition! Huge thank you goes to her because... this chapter would have been really wrong without her!


	22. K

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Zoro and Robin had their first playdate and even though Robin is still on her training wheels and still can’t really commit to their relationship, she is happier than she’d been for quite some time. Things are looking good, aren’t they? Uhh, doesn’t that sound foreboding? Nah, for now here is some hopefully fun interlude, we’ll get to the mentioned demons of the summary soon enough ^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hallo everyone,  
> now you may ask, it’s not wednesday, why would she upload today? Well, 1. my semester at university is done so I’m feeling kinda free, 2. I aced this sem’s finals, so I’m happy. 3. I got quite a lot of Kudos and follows over the last update, which again, happy and 4. I Just read the latest chapter and even though we still have to wait for Robin in action we got some foreshadowing about Zoro, so...yeah, kinda in a good mood.   
> Speaking of Zoro in Wano, remember when I said I couldn’t wait for some Ronin Geisha smut? I decided to put that in this story sometime………… which unfortionately is depending on how fast the story progresses in the manga…. that’s not so happy, but it’s my birthday so I don’t care ;-p  
> As always a huge thank you to Rexica for beta-ing this chapter, she’s a huge help, and like I said before, if you don’t have already, check out her story “disinhibition”, because it’s just sooo hot. I’m beta-ing that one and I kind of got insight and even I can’t wait for Zoro and that shitty Ninja to jump each other.

“Hi there, stranger.” Her voice was familiar although not quite the high pitch he remembered. He turned, greeted by blonde hair and teal eyes glinting mischief. Her hair had been red back then. Not like Nami's hair, more like Nami herself when she was really angry. Didn't dress quite as frilly back then, either… He nodded in recognition, offered the seat next to him. She took it, grinning. “So, what happened to your eye? Three swords maybe one too many?” she teased. He scoffed, “Brat.”

She laughed, “And fuck if you didn't like it, Zoro-sa~ma.” Her voice lifted at the end, playing cute.

He hummed an affirmative as the barkeeper sat down a glass of milk in front of her. He didn’t miss how the man’s bushy eyebrow lifted in suspicion at the dubious conversation between that sweet little girl and the big bad pirate… if only he knew…

“What are you doing here?” He changed the topic before they inadvertently added pedophilia to his list of crimes, just because the  _ adult  _ woman had decided to dress up like a little princess. What was it with grown women acting and dressing like little girls? Not that he minded in particular but fuck if it didn’t make life complicated for him. Apparently it was a great oddity for women not to dress and act their age, so whenever he was seen with them, he could practically feel the judgement bearing down on him. He really didn’t miss the errands Mihawk had made him and Perona do… Not that anybody had the guts to try to save the seemingly poor little girl from his evil clutches, but everybody sure had known how to make assumptions and make him feel like the bad kind of dirty pervert. Hadn’t helped that Perona had enjoyed it entirely too much, loudly complaining about his brute strength and lack of restraint ...as if her fucking hollows hadn’t been punishment enough. And now her, the cocky spitfire he'd been with shortly before joining Luffy. Was she mad that he hadn't met her at the inn in Shells Town? Had she known that he had been starving on that pole? She hadn’t worn frilly stuff like that back then. If she'd run around like that three years ago, he would have seriously questioned  his preferences when he'd gotten with Perona. No, back then she had been all leather and silk, metal and scars. Her eyes always dark, lips sinful red not innocent rose. In fact, she had looked older than him by several years, and had they ever visited busy streets, she would have been the one getting judgemental glances, not him.

“My family is here on business, saw your ship in the small eastern port and thought I might find you in one of the bars.”

Who was it that had said that nobody ever used the eastern port and the Sunny wouldn't draw attention there? Business with the family explained her frilly getup though, if he remembered correctly. There had been some fallouts between them because they expected their little girl to be more doll than human--no proper man would want a back-talking little brat for a wife, or something like that. True; he certainly wasn't proper, and neither had he wanted her as his wife. Judging by her clothing, that rebellious phase was over now. Then again, since she’d sought him out, maybe not.

“Business must be good then, if it brought you all the way to the New World.”

She huffed at him, “yeah yeah, wonderful. Business is why my family is on this island, not why I'm in this bar. I'm- “ she stopped, her mouth drawing to a pout when Robin returned from her bathroom break. Recognition hushed over her features, of course. She'd kept tabs on him, knew the flag he sailed under, so of course she'd know the rest of the crew, too. They weren't especially low key pirates, were they?

“Don't worry about her, she knows,” he assured the woman before turning to  _ his  _ woman.”Robin, that's, uh…” he trailed off with the introduction. She'd never told him her real name, had she?

It didn't seem to bother her. “Emilia,” she offered, mischievous grin on her lips, daring him to call her out on yet another alias. Didn't give a single fuck though, was her business after all. Robin's eyes however narrowed in suspicion as she offered the woman a fake smile. She was tense. She wasn't jealous, was she?

“Anyway, I'm here because of you. I still carry your mark, you know. It's fading.” 

His eye drifted to her upper thigh, and Robin's gaze followed, frown on her face. She was jealous. Why? She knew he had a history…

“Just let it fade,” he ground out.

That pout again. Then realisation as she looked from Robin, to him, and smiled, head cocked to the right. “Pity, I'm up for sharing, if you're interested.”

“No, thank you,” answered Robin before Emilia had even closed her mouth. Oh yes, she was definitely jealous.

Emilia laughed, not condescending but in genuine amusement. “Sure, no problem, good luck you -”

The pub's door banged open. “Roronoa!”

“Oh, fuck.” He'd have to have a word with Nami about her definition of 'nobody’; the town had been quiet, so it wasn't like Luffy had given them away.

Emilia laughed again, looking at the seething marine captain scrutinizing the patrons in search for him. Had she entered every bar here like that? “Another former playmate of yours?” Emilia asked as he ducked out of sight to reach the exit in the back. Just barely, he could make out Robin's signature laugh as she explained that no, Tashigi was something else entirely. At least she seemed to be alright with Tashigi, because run-ins with her would happen a whole lot more often than some freak, chance meeting with an old acquaintance of his. Her jealousy was oddly flattering if he was being honest, although it was kind of worrisome to leave the two behind like that. If memory served him right, Emilia could be quite the handful, teasing and prodding… hopefully Emilia would get out of that conversation with all her bones in the right place. There'd be a conversation, he was sure, because the damn woman wasn't in a rush to get out. And why should she? Even without the noisy entrance, they both knew that Tashigi was there for him and him alone. 

Had taken them long enough to catch up after their run in with that fleet a week ago. He'd expected them sooner. 

He ran through town like a madman with Tashigi hot on his heels. There was nothing left of the terse yet easy camaraderie they had shared during both the battles and the celebrations on Punk Hazard, their old dynamic of running, chasing and shouting back in place. Had to admit though, she was infinitely easier to handle now that she didn't look like Kuina anymore. Easier, but not less dangerous. She'd become even better than on Punk Hazard, and he'd fucking love to check her progress with his own blades, but this was neither the time nor the place. Should plan a date just the two of them, and not the hordes of pesky marines set on sinking the Sunny and chopping off their heads. G-5 he could live with, actually, if they weren't so god damned attached to their captain that he'd have to fear they'd interfere every fucking second.

_ What the actual fuck?! _ He almost tripped over his own feet, barely caught himself in time to deflect a deadly strike of Shigure. She seethed at him, fire in her eyes as she pushed all her weight into the attack. He didn't care though, eye fixed on Usopp's ugly-ass, 5-foot high mug grinning down at him from the town hall's wall. 

“Aren't you just about done finding new stretch marks every time you had to run a few meters in beautiful yet skimpy lingerie?”

She glared at him, face screaming fuckig murder. “What the hell did you just say, Roronoa?”

Oh shit! He hadn’t meant to read the ad out loud...

“How dare you speak to our captain-chan like that!”; “Yes, yes, they may be big but they are softer and perkier than a dirty pirate would deserve to see!”;”Neuter him!”

Her face turned bright red at hearing her goons defend her like that. She jumped back, screamed at them that they hadn't seen either, a truth they didn't care about because they were sure that their captain-chan was absolutely perfect underneath her clothes.

He studied the mural further. ‘ _ Put an end to that predicament with  _ **_Usopp’s custom made reinforced awesome-bras_ ** _!’  _ Paint was still wet, dripping down the bricks. ‘ _ Send in your measurements today and receive a free pair of panties for only 800Bs!’ _

What the fuck had that shithead been doing here? Hadn’t he been busy with a special errand for the weather witch? ‘ _ The strawhat ladies approve (And they have to run a lot!)’ _ Of fucking course, she was in this. Wherever you could get money, she sure as hell wouldn’t pass up that opportunity! Fuck!

The G-5 soldiers were still arguing with their captain-chan, and while he was very much aware that it was a seriously bad idea, he decided not to just quietly take his leave while they were preoccupied. Their meeting just didn't seem right if he wasn't chased off by her. “Yeah, about that,” he interrupted one of the soldiers reassuring Tashigi that it was absolutely no big deal if she had some, because they’d love her either way, “apparently I know a guy who could help you out with that,” he finished, jerking his thumb in the mural’s direction. He waited long enough for her to see, to get even redder, before he turned tail and made in the direction of the Sunny. At least he hoped it was in that direction.

“Rorona!” she bellowed after him as he rounded the next corner - or the one after that, who took count, really? - and sure enough, the Sunny was there with an exasperated redhead tapping her foot and dramatically lifting her arm to check the time on a watch she wasn’t wearing. Behind her, curly brow was waving like an idiot and the hearts in his eyes showed clearly that he wasn't the one addressed. Their captain too waved at his pursuer as he asked her to ‘say hi to Smokey’ for him. Damn shitheads should be happier to see him instead of their fucking enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s it for now, the next one goes up on March 6th if you were wondering how I’m going to continue after this stray chapter.  
> Please let me know what you think about this one. Like in the manga, Tashigi will be playing a recurring role in this story, hence the new tag.


	23. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time, Zoro and Robin met some old acquaintances and Usopp expanded his bra business almost costing Zoro a limb. This time we'll see what thoughts Zoro's ex put into Robin's head and how she fared those weeks after their little intermezzo in the crow's nest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hallo and welcome back everyone! Just let me tell you how amazing all of you are, who (still) read and comment, you make my days! You know who else is amazing? My beta Rexica for putting up with all my plot holes (which aren't plot holes of course, because in my mind it's all there. Although you can't read my mind, yohohoho) and my million punctuation mistakes even with a way too full schedule in real life.
> 
> I'd like to address some things that were brought to my attention.   
> If you think Zoro is too smart… He isn't, he has experience in some fields and most of all he has confidence and the strong belief that things will work out. The problem is, I really only showed you episodes where that knowledge is used so yeah… he probably looks smarter than he is. How he became this experienced? I'll show you bits and pieces in future chapters, be patient (this is like the plot holes, if only you guys could read my mind)  
> Robin overcoming her blowjob aversion too quickly? Yeah… that's totally on me, I had that scene in my head and it wanted out, so I pushed it. Again, huge thank you to Rexica for pulling hard on the reins, it would have been indefinitely worse if not for her. (Although I hadn't really planned it as a hard limit, I originally intended it to show that she doesn't really know how to grade stuff, and she wanted to stay on the safe side. He had known she had struggled deciding on whether to labor it hard or soft. In the end, in my head again, she didn't have any soft limits, because better safe than sorry).

Usually, when women hit on him in her presence, and probably when any other crew member was around for that matter, he'd either decline immediately, ignore them, or turn red and stumble excuses if they were the sweet and innocent type. None of this had happened in that bar on Mudki island. 

It hadn't been him sharing his sake with a girl reminding him of Nami either; this had been different. Friendly, familiar. No protectiveness. The moment she had laid eyes on them, she'd known that they had a history together. Of course she had been aware that somewhere in this world people existed that he had been intimate with. She'd just never thought that she'd come across one. 

Seeing that sweet, innocent woman talking freely with him, in her lacy brocade dress that stood out in that seedy bar like a corpse on a wedding... Seeing him talk relaxed and calm even though she was sweet and innocent... 

She had been worried. First, because she reminded her of Perona, and second, because she looked way too young to be a fling of the past. 

She had been jealous, and she had wanted to dislocate his every joint for the grin he'd carried once he'd come to the same conclusion. But… but, he could have dragged her with him when he'd fled from Tashigi. Instead, he had left her there with Emilia, knowing that she'd have some questions for her, not knowing how it would turn out. And somehow, she was sure that he wouldn't have dragged her along even if the two hadn't parted on good terms. He simply had nothing to hide. Not even her age. As it had turned out Emilia was, despite her childlike appearance, the same age as him.

The talk had been interesting to say the least. She hadn't pressed too much, and Emilia hadn't gone into too much detail about her relationship with the swordsman, who most definitely had been lost in the small town already, but it had been really nice talking to someone the same as her. All the reading had already helped to accept herself, and after her first time  _ playing _ with Zoro, she had known without a doubt that this between them had absolutely nothing to do with what had happened to her in the past. This was nothing depraved she needed to be ashamed about, but after this little chat, she had felt more at peace with herself than ever before. Their talk had brought the abstract construct to reality; there weren't just books about people like her but actual people with the same cravings as her. People who had not experienced what she had to endure and were like her without having been conditioned. She wasn't like this because of her past but despite it, and after talking to that woman, it finally felt real.

When he'd returned to the Sunny - 50 minutes after he'd left the bar that was only 10 minutes away- she had thanked him. He'd brushed her off, only asked whether or not Emilia was still alive and if all her bones were still in their sockets.   

His worry had been completely unfounded. Emilia was a darling and had been genuinely happy for them. Their talk had really helped her to get to know herself better.

The two weeks since their escapade in the crow's nest, however, had taught her a lot about Zoro.

He was dedicated, tenacious, disciplined and determined, and she had come to resent all those wonderful qualities of his. Calling him a demon was an understatement. Roronoa Zoro was a cruel man. 

He hadn't touched her once since back then, not in the way she wanted at least. What he had done was stop her on her way to the galley, come to her while she was sunbathing on deck or watering her flowers, to husk in her ear what he could do to her but wouldn't. 

How he could drag the rope down her body and secure it between her legs… the dark threat that, for what he had planned for her, the 10 meters they had gotten from the ‘hag’ would not nearly be enough… He’d ask her, how would it feel to be bound, suspended, and  _ not  _ wanting to escape. Lord, she wanted that rope. Each time he’d give her another minuscule  piece of the puzzle, and each and every time, she could see in his glinting eye that he  _ knew _ it was enough; that he  _ knew _ it made her wet. How dare he use her vivid imagination against her? Just when had he become this… this eloquent, anyway? 

When imagining his way of seduction, she would have expected a certain bluntness, an obvious approach, right in her face, take it or leave it, like he did everything else in life.

If that had been the case, she could have ignored it. Him running around shirtless? No problem; he'd done so in the past, she could steel herself against the sight. But instead, he'd taken to harmlessly roll up the sleeves of his robe, to innocently flex his arms just enough so she could see the muscles and veins jump under that delicious skin of his whenever her guard was lowered. Reminded her of how his thigh had jumped under her hand when she had choked on his magnificent erection. Just like him smacking his flat hand down on the table during mealtime arguments instead of his fist, like he'd done before, reminded her of how divine it had felt coming down hard on her bottom. 

It worked every single time.

It was even worse than before they had indulged, because now she knew what wonderful things he could make her feel, that his words weren't empty. 

On day three, she had taken matters into her own hands, and he had known. Had grinned at her and added another week to her sentence. On day 7, she had tried to seduce him, only to flop on the couch in frustration after he'd called her out on it and threatened another week. She'd even worn her garters! 

The man was infuriating. It had been his fault anyway. He had been the one who had turned her brain to goo and shredded every ounce of self-control. He had been the one to make her come. And he'd been the one who hadn't given her permission. 

On day 10, she'd been on her knees, begging shamefully for release. She had seen the hardness in his pants, and still he had refused her! He'd even had the gall to mock her for her weakness, with only four days remaining. Told her to show more discipline.

Day 14 or not, she would not give him the satisfaction and come crawling the moment the sun set. No, she would wait and have him come to her. The man might have an iron will, but he wanted her just as much as she wanted him, she knew that. She had watched him the past two weeks. He meditated more often and surprisingly drank less than usual. She would have expected his consumption to rise with the frustration, but the opposite had been the case. It made sense of course. The alcohol in his system could weaken his resolve after all.

Earlier at dinner, Nami had declared that marines were a safe distance away and that they still had 3 days till the next island. The sea was calm and showed no signs of sudden danger. The perfect time for her to take a long relaxing bath, dress up in her garters she knew he loved, and quietly make her way up the rigging to the crow's nest. She didn't.

He'd probably punish her for it. Her face grew hot as she realised that she wanted him to. As long as it didn't entail more denial, she really wanted to be punished. The memory of his rough hand coming down on her already reddened cheeks… Maybe she should go up, hope for the good kind of punishment… that wasn't really punishment... if she liked it, was it? She should go up, she wouldn't be able to stand another week without it.

God, she wanted him. Just thinking his name made her wet. She'd never expected herself to be this… this lewd. According to Emilia, he had that effect on his partners, even back then. Emilia… 

Zoro had made it very clear that he would not leave any lasting marks on her body. Bruises being the most he would allow, and even those were to be covered at all times. To say she'd been intrigued when Emilia had mentioned  _ his mark _ was an understatement. The young woman had been happy to show her, too. Ruffling up all three of her skirts right there at the bar in front of everyone, she had exposed her upper thigh. There, clearly visible in any swimwear, were three scars. Clean parallel lines, the middle one shorter than the ones above and beneath. San. As in Santōryū. As in Sanji. Surely he wouldn't have chosen that particular design after he'd met the man. Unknowingly, Emilia had answered her unasked question that she was indeed a fling of the past, and at the same time raised another bulk of questions.

She had not thought about it before, hadn't felt the need for something like that, not even when Chopper had mentioned the occasional, euphoric blood clinging to him. She had read about the act but hadn't seen the appeal, so when he had added it to the no-go list, she hadn't cared much. Now, however, she was wondering. If he didn't oppose the practice in general, if he had not just wounded partners in the past, but actually, deliberately marked them, why would he deny her? The rational part of her brain knew of course that visible marks could alert the marines or other enemies to their relationship, or the nature of the relationship. That infamous Impel Down prison guard surely would know what to do with it.. The emotional part, however, did not care much for logic. It wanted his mark, show it off to the world. The insecure part of her, even though that was mostly silenced since their talk on Ikori island, enquired if maybe he was ashamed of her. 

Maybe it was time to come clean about that one secret she had kept from him back then...

“Shouldn't you be in the bath?”

To her shame, she jumped a little at his gruff voice. She hadn't noticed him enter the library. 

“I don't think so, Kenshi-san,” she answered, challenge thick in her voice. She would not cave this easily.

He cocked an eyebrow at her before he came right to her, taking the long forgotten book from her hands and throwing her over his shoulder in one fluid movement. She didn't scream, just hoped he couldn't smell her arousal through her panties as he carried her up the ladder. Silently, she cursed his robe for obstructing her view of his chiseled rear, acutely aware that there was no such barrier to her. The short skirt she had chosen that morning rode up her hips, exposing her bare cheeks and barely clad lips. Upstairs in the little room before the bathhouse, he stilled, and her face reddened in humiliation when she realised that he had to be watching her backside in the small mirror hanging on the wall. Could he see the dampness of the fabric? Probably. The faint stubble of his beard scabbed over her cheek before the side of his nose pressed against her lower lips as he took a deep, audible breath. He could certainly smell her neediness. Dear lord, she wanted him to kiss her there, taste her, devour her… the thought alone made her belly tighten and her thighs rub together… He didn't do that, of course. Instead, he placed her back on her feet and mechanically started to undo the buttons of her blouse without making actual contact with her skin. He really was infuriating.

“You know I don't need you to shower before we have sex, right?” he asked as he brushed the silk from her shoulders, eye fixed on hers instead of her breasts spilling over the confines of her bra. This particular design had not been made to be worn hanging upside down, apparently.

“I know, I just feel more comfortable when I'm clean,” she answered, omitting the reason that he undoubtedly knew was lurking behind the strained, fake smile she gave him. She knew he wouldn't judge her for it, she just didn't want to burden him with the truth.

He huffed as he opened the zipper of her skirt, “it's a pity, I like the way you smell when you get all drenched.”

Of course he did. He would never keep her from cleaning herself and punish her for being a dirty sow, for day old cum and blood crusting her thighs, he would never - calloused hand on her cheek, deep concern swimming in a grey gaze. “You alright?” Worry softening the rough edge of his voice.

Pictures faded, smell evaporated, the cold that had seeped in her bones erased by gentle heat. She didn't have to force the smile on her face, it came all by itself and stayed for him. “I am, thank you.”

“Good, now shower and come upstairs,” he said, planting the sweetest kiss on her forehead and disappeared down the ladder. Even sweeter when she realised he had to go on tiptoes to do so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, leave me a kudos or fav if you want and can and let me know what you thought about this one. Any form of feedback is very much welcome. If you have questions or issues don't hesitate to ask or bring them up.  
> Also for those of you not knowing, this is the mark 三. Sanji's name (三時) means 3 o'clock, which is quite fitting since due to history and one successful advertisement 3 o'clock is basically Japanese snack time.  
> Class dismissed, see you next week!


	24. L

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time there was a bit of a waiting game that tried Robin’s self-control and patience alike and we got a bit intel on her conversation with Zoro’s former playmate. Now the waiting is over and actually there wouldn’t stand anything in the way of some adult fun in the crow’s nest, would there?  
> Trigger warning for sappyness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hallo and welcome back!  
> First off, another huge thank you to Rexica, who managed to proofread this despite having no time at all. You guys should thank her too, because when I woke up today this chapter had 70+ changes… that was a bit disheartening but the chapter turned out actually readable so I’m really not complaining.  
> As always thank you guys for subscribing/ following and the likes, makes me really happy to see this story is not only enjoyed by myself!

She came through the latch all dressed up for him, marines nowhere in sight, but she didn't seem to be here to play. She wanted something, he could see that clearly in her pleading eyes; in the way her long fingers fidgeted; how she worried her plump bottom lip. Gods was she cute.

“What is it, woman?”

She blushed, the innocent kind, didn't know how to speak her mind. The woman had licked his cum from the fucking floor and still blushed like a little girl. Fuck, he loved that. 

She took a deep breath, her blue gaze meeting his, insecurity still very much present.

“Could, would you maybe, ah…” she halted, searching for the right words, “go down on me, Zoro-sama?”

Oh, so she  _ did _ want to play. She could have that. He scoffed at her, putting Wadô aside after a quick bow. What a strange ritual ... she prepared by grooming herself, he prepared by grooming his blades… there sure was some poetic meaning in that, not that he had any idea where to look for it… He stood to his full height, which still was a few inches shorter than her even if she didn't wear those high heels. Gods was she hot.

“I won't bow down before you, Robin,” he declared, staring her down despite his lack of height. Her face fell in disappointment, before it lit with excitement when she got his meaning.

With a grin he nodded, “better prop yourself up and concentrate. I won't  catch you if you faint on me again.”

Her arms bloomed from the ceiling, dainty hands holding her shoulders up as more arms from the floor lifted her up at the calves. It took her less than a minute to secure herself in a net of limbs, waiting in its centre like a spider ready to devour  _ him _ .

He fucking loved her ability.

She stared at him, waiting for a cue, for approval. And when he nodded his head, her arms pushed her up, bringing her horizontal before his face. Hands from the floor dissipated until she hung from the ceiling on a swing of arms. Her legs parted, skirt bunching up around her hips, revealing her naked and very much excited cunt right in front of him, ready to be devoured. 

There was no shame this time, no twisted sense of modesty holding her back or tainting the anticipation in her aura. She hadn't done this before, hadn't been made to do it. This was entirely new for her, her first, and fuck if that didn't give him the anxiety  _ she _ should feel. 

Her scent was disappointing. There was barely any trace left from the addictive mixture that had engulfed him when he'd carried her up to the bath, that had clung to the crow's nest for days after their last encounter. That had made her blush whenever she’d stepped foot in the room. Or maybe it had been her plan to seduce him or to beg on her knees for release that had painted that blush on her cheeks, who knew. Now, all he could smell was the black tea and rose from her body wash, pomegranate from her lotion. Wouldn't last long. He'd make her want seep out of every single fucking pore of her divine body.

The skin of her thigh was unbelievably soft, probably even softer than he could feel as his eye followed the tiny white scratches his calloused hand left behind. Did she mind? The roughness of his hands? Her hitched breathing told him no, she didn't, not at all.

With his hands on her ass, he pulled her towards him, her arms giving without resistance. He had to take that back—up close she smelled just as intoxicating as he remembered. Last time, he hadn't really had the chance to look at her. It wasn't that she was shaven clean. It was more like hair just didn’t grow there at all apart from that trimmed patch. Waxed? Or maybe another perk of her ability? Her inner lips were a bit bigger than the outer ones, clit not huge but clearly visible, easy to find, hard to overlook… not that he was prone to do that… he knew his way around a female body, just…yeah, he wouldn't get lost here. Definitely not.

She squirmed, getting impatient as all she got from him were puffs of cooled breath while he contemplated his chances of getting lost between her legs, literally. Maybe make her wait a little longer. Make her beg for his tongue like she had for his cock four days ago. Should have begged for forgiveness along with it, and he might have been swayed. 

No, there really was no reason for punishment here, she'd endured enough. It's not like he had ordered her to come up. He'd just assumed she'd come up by herself. He hadn't missed her episode in the bath either, the far away, haunted look she'd suddenly sported. He shouldn't be dominating her. Fuck, they shouldn't be playing, he should cherish her, take her mind as far from anything that could have happened to her in the past as possible. Not that he really could, since the damn woman insisted on dealing with her shit alone, not wanting to drag him in. That would cross her fucking line after all. The line she had insisted on, the thing that kept them from being in an actual relationship. Still, after all the talking and all the damn patience he'd shown her, she still insisted that he would have enough of her at some point. And if she grew too attached, she wouldn't be able to take it. Fucking ridiculous. She was everything he had on his mind even before they had agreed to this physical relationship, and if anything it, had become worse. That she trusted him enough to give her body and safety in his hands… well actually that was nothing new, was it? 

He huffed, as different as it felt for him, they hadn't actually made any progress, had they? She'd trusted him with her body since fucking Skypia. Fuck. Maybe this really was just an arrangement to make sure they didn't become a liability for the crew… 

She breathed a plea, oblivious to his doubts about all of this. Begged for his tongue. She shouldn't. Fucking asshole, doubting her like that. Of course she trusted him with her mind, her sanity even. Enough to let him do things to her that had hurt her in the past, enough to ask for things completely untainted by it. Would she stay with him afterwards, if it didn't involve the aftercare? If there were no bruises to be treated? No roles to be dropped? Would she come back up after her shower to sleep next to him, if they weren't so completely raw?

“Don't beg today, Robin.”

Her confusion was short-lived and quickly made way for excitement as soon as he put his lips on her. He fucking loved how reactive she was. Every lick and every probe, every nibble and every suck, every fucking breath of his made her keen and mewl, made her press her hips further against his mouth. So fucking delicious! 

Her hand, her real hand, hovered over his hair way longer than it should take for her to gather the courage to ask her question. “May I touch you?”

He grunted an affirmative, hadn't realised how much he'd wanted her hands on him until her nails started digging into his scalp. Used to be fine with it, not being touched. Completely content with knowing that his partners wanted to, relishing in their frustration. Was different with Robin, not just now, this time didn't really count, but last time too. Maybe he had underestimated this whole situation. He was all in, and he was still convinced that she'd come around at some point; he’d just thought they were already further along.

She took two of his fingers without resistance but with a content moan. He could read her body without a doubt, the pulse in her main arteries, the sweat beading and the rose hue of her skin. Her changed breathing, the flutter of her cunt against his digits... If he looked into her eyes now, he'd find her pupils dilated, and in just a few more moments, her muscles would spasm under a strangled cry, her legs would close around his head as she'd ride out her pleasure for as long as possible. What he couldn't read were her emotions. Well, he could with Haki, but only … he honestly had no fucking idea what love would feel like. One emotion he definitely hadn't had directed at him since he'd learned to listen to the voice of things, use Haki. Not in that way at least. Gods damn this shit.

When her legs released him, he guided her back down on her feet. They stood close while her arms disappeared, her laboured breathing puffed against his face. Her eyes still shone with the high of her release. Gods, she was beautiful with those rosy cheeks of hers. Fucking hell, he was the damn love cook. A whining lovestruck fool, is what he was. Fucking damn. He stepped back from her.

She stood before him, lost. “This.. this was different from last time. Do you, I don't know, do you want me to…” she trailed off, hand vaguely gesturing towards his dick.

Shook his head. “Nah, woman, I'm good,” he declined her offer and sat down on the couch. Was a lie. He wasn't good. Just really not in the mood after his earlier thoughts. 

She stood there, gnawing away on her bottom lip, hands fidgeting in front of her. He knew she wanted more, but in this situation… there really wasn't anything else he could give her. Not that he hadn't thought about all the things he could do to her after her penalty was over, but as distracted as he was, he really shouldn't risk it. Didn't want to either. The last time he'd been so scared that she might possibly remember, clam up, beg him to stop abusing her, he hadn't even had the mind to actually enjoy her. The next time he took her, he knew he had to do it right, and now it wouldn't be. 

“What now?” She asked, and he shrugged his shoulders . 

“Don't know, whatever you want, maybe take that shower of yours?”

She nodded, turned, and like last time, after that one blissful hour of just lying there together, he really wanted to follow her.

At the latch, she stopped. “Maybe, maybe I don't really need a shower.” Had she caught on to his feelings? Hadn't intended on guilt tripping her into staying… Fuck, this was so much easier when no emotions were involved.

She came to him, sat down next to him,  hesitated. There honestly wasn't anything he wanted more than to hug her to him and believe that she felt the same for him as he did for her. He couldn't. Wouldn't be the same as if she closed the distance herself, those few inches

She sat rigid, fuck, she was uncomfortable. Didn't want her to be uncomfortable around him. Maybe he'd been too harsh with her. Wasn't her fault after all; she'd told him from the beginning that she wasn't ready for a relationship. He had been ok with that. Fuck. Just why was she uncomfortable? Maybe she wasn't, maybe she was just mirroring himself, because he was a hell of a lot uncomfortable. He needed her in a way she couldn't be there for him just yet, and there was no way at all to speed that up. Did she know that? Was that why she stayed? To comfort him? That why she was uncomfortable? 'Cause this was even newer for her than for him? Cause she didn't know how to? He should hug her to him, take what he needed since she was offering a blanco, if that was what she was doing…. Fuck. Could he read her? He had no reservations about using his Haki to read her during sex, did so to ensure her pleasure and even more importantly her safety. Now, however… wouldn't it be a violation of her privacy? 

She dropped against him. Head on his shoulder, and it felt like he could breathe for the first time since he'd started doubting everything they had.

“Would it be ok if we stayed like this a little?” She asked.

Good gods, yes, forever, please. He put his arm around her. So fucking right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of you who expected more action… please don’t hate me, I did say the relationship was complicated, you know? Also, I apologise for Zoro’s ooc-ness, to me he really is a guy that fully commits to his goals so seeing her not doing the same is kind of a blow…  
> As always, please leave a review and tell me what you thought!


	25. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Zoro Had some doubts about their relationship, if that's what you want to call it, it came to him between her legs of all things. Now we'll see Robin's thoughts on the matter, let's just hope she doesn't overreact to him not being in the mood…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hallo everyone, welcome back!  
> I've told you before to ask questions if things were unclear or anything in this story and I got lots of PM's on ffnet. I'm really glad that you do that, especially since things will heat up a bit and get more intense in future chapters and for some of you maybe even weird and creepy, so I really appreciate it that you give me the opportunity to explain. It's not that I want to educate, I just don't want to be the source of misconceptions or something.   
> Anyway, I thought some of the questions might be interesting for all of you, so I start this chapter off with a Q&A:
> 
> GENERAL:  
> 1\. Why does Zoro refer to gods and Robin to god?  
> \- In SBS Oda Said if they were real life people Zoro would be Japanese and Robin Russian, so I pictured Zoro's religious background to be some amalgam between Shintoism and Buddhism and Robin's to be Russian orthodox. Not saying they are particularly religious but there are an awful lot of expressions so I just adapted them.
> 
> 2\. I actually can't believe that this is of any interest, but since I've been asked twice and I've seen it mentioned in other fics… I can't tell you what songs I listen to for each specific chapter, but if you're unhappy with the tone of the sexy stuff you go and take it up with Marilyn Manson, Rammstein, Seether and Korn ;-p
> 
> 3\. What will you do when you run out of letters for Zoro’s chapters?  
> \- Good question, in my doc with chapters and ideas i’ve already reached T… Maybe I get to a satisfactory end by then, maybe I’ll just use small letters? I don’t know.
> 
> KINKY STUFF  
> 1\. How can Zoro be this experienced if he's so young?  
> \- If you've been hoping to finally get a definite answer to this one I have to disappoint you. So far I wrote lots of glimpses to Robin's past experiences so I think it's plenty fair to do the same for Zoro, so be patient and vigilant.
> 
> 2\. Do you know what you're talking about or is this just fantasy?  
> -To some extent I do know what I'm talking about. I'd think it irresponsible to write without experience, but pretty please to all my Dominant readers, don't hesitate to call me out on bullshit… male readers in general, really, I have no idea what's going on in your bodies
> 
> 3\. “I'm new to all this, could you give us a BDSM 101 after the chapters?” and because it goes in the same direction: “It doesn't sound really nice when you say he's playing with her, is that a BDSM thing?”  
> \- I have been thinking about this, but figured it would probably be too much to put in a note. I will address safety issues but for details there's tons of material online to read up on, or you ask me directly. And yes, that's a BDSM thing, think about it as playing a match of tennis or chess or something
> 
> 4\. What the fuck happened to that rope? Where is it, have you forgotten?  
> \- Good news for you rope enthusiasts, chapter 14 is for you and already done.
> 
> 5\. This one is really important to me, because quite frankly I was shocked when I got that question.  
> \- Yes, you are entitled to vanilla time, even if you're in a BDSM relationship and you are definitely entitled to aftercare! Both of you. No, you don't have to go 24/7, if you don't want to and even if you do, you decide what is okay and what isn't, together.  
> \------  
> That out of the way, please continue to ask, don't hesitate to speak up. I never intended for this piece to be educational and I'm certainly not saying that my way is the only way, but again I think it would be irresponsible to just write this as I seem fit without addressing certain things or giving the opportunity to ask questions.

She wasn't quite sure what was wrong with him, but she certainly could make an educated guess. 

Since the last time they'd been together, he hadn't been his usual grumpy self, instead he seemed… vulnerable, or as vulnerable as a man like him could look. It was probably her fault. Her lack of commitment. She had warned him, hadn't she? Had told him that she could not let herself get emotionally involved. And yet it seemed that he had not heeded her advice. She loved him dearly, as much as she could, and seeing him suffer because of her broke her heart. She had tried to be there for him the last time, had felt deep down that his lack of enthusiasm had been because of her and tried to right this wrong. Apparently without much success. It wasn't that she was unfeeling per se, she just lacked the depth most of her crewmates seemed to reach. 

She did love them. She would be devastated if anything were to happen to any of them. She would die for them. What she wouldn't do for them was tap into that well of feeling every child opened for their parents, that she had naively opened for Saul. She knew that the others were stronger because of their unconditional love for each other, but she just couldn't; not for them, and least of all for him. Because if she did, she would fall, tumble down the rabbit hole and never again be able to get out. When Saul had died protecting her, it had nearly destroyed her. If she allowed herself to feel for Zoro like she'd undoubtedly do… if he died, there would be no coming back. It would rip her to pieces, and she couldn't allow that to happen. Their captain couldn't lose two crew members at once, because the boy openly tapped that deep, deep well of emotions. 

She had no doubts whatsoever that if one of her family were to die, it would be Zoro. Not by accident, but by choice. He had proven that on Thriller Bark, and she could not allow herself to love such a dedicated, selfless, and honourable man with all she had. 

She should let him go. Their last encounter had shown that their arrangement was not as fulfilling for him as it was for her. She shouldn't string him along on the vague hope that maybe someday she would be confident enough to love him in the way he deserved. How could she have the audacity to be jealous of Emilia? She had no right whatsoever, had she? Demanding to be the only one for him while she herself refused to commit to him...

It wouldn't be long before he would tire of her, which kind of was what she wanted, wasn't it? It wasn't. The thought alone hurt enough to reassure her that actually falling for that man that made her feel so safe, so right, could not end well for her. 

The way he had clung to her in the crow's nest… her thighs still slick from earlier excitement, uncomfortably drying in the cold air… she doubted she'd ever felt more content in her life. More wanted. More treasured. He didn't deserve that, being treated as a cuddly blanket whenever she felt like it, but she was selfish. Found herself up the crow's nest more often than not, with no books to keep her entertained. Just watching him work out, just basking in his presence, like a cat trying to catch the last rays of sun on a winter afternoon before the cold of the night seeped in through the cracks in the walls. The last of his warmth before he'd rightfully throw her out for playing with his heart. Trampling over it, more likely. 

God, how could she do that to him, how could she be this selfish? That sweet man who had just interrupted his afternoon nap to appease the terror Brook's latest horror story had evoked in their resident doctor. Instead of grumpily turning the boy away as any outsider would expect, he let him crawl on his lap to explain to him that there surely were no monsters horrible enough that he couldn't cut them. Dear lord how utterly adorable. It made her stomach drop in the most unpleasant way.

How could she take advantage of such big a heart? She wasn't quite depraved enough to blame her past, where she had only survived by being egotistical. No one but herself was to blame for this. 

He looked up, still scratching Chopper between antler and ear, his one eye meeting hers instantly. It wasn't the first time he'd caught her staring the last few days either, and like all the other times, she blushed under his grin while her throat clogged with guilt.

She loved that bright smile of his; for all his grumpiness and sinistry, when he smiled, he looked almost as innocent as Luffy. It hurt her, too. Made her realise how truly vile she really was. Like now, instead of leaving towards the library as she had intended before stumbling upon the scene, she sat her half eaten can of salted cashews on the railing and went down to sit at his side. Cat again. Basking again; in his warmth, his safety, his love probably. God, what a disgusting creature she was.

“Woman?”

She startled awake, her head jerking from his shoulder. Had someone seen them like this? Hopefully not. It was bad enough that she'd have to explain the coming end of their relationship to Nami, but she really didn't want to explain it to the rest of them. Maybe she should talk with Nami about it. No, the navigator would probably just blame Zoro…

“Are you alright?” he asked, and the concern made her stomach clench again.

She smiled even though she knew he'd see the fakeness of it. “I just dozed off, I'm sorry if I worried you.”

He scoffed in response. “Bullshit, you've been acting weird since last time. I know that you had hoped for something different and I'm not going to apologize for it, but it's definitely not your fault that I wasn't in the mood.”

She was a monster. He was worried for her wellbeing while she, in full consciousness, chose to parasitise him.

“I'll make it up to you next time,” he added with that sharkish grin of his that made her knees week, her cheeks red and lips wet. 

“You shouldn't. No matter what you say, it  _ is _ my fault. I  _ know _ you want more than what I can give you… I… this was a mistake, Kenshi-san,” she declared, and even though she could feel her eyes water at the prospect of actually losing him then and there, it did lift a weight from her chest that had beared down on it for days.

He cursed under his breath, one hand gripping his hair before dragging it down his face with another curse. He turned to look at her, and it knocked the wind right out of her lungs. She'd sat down on his bad side; had she done so to avoid looking at him? Probably, because she almost crumbled under that grey stare of his. The regret she saw. Dear lord, this really was the end, and it put a whole other weight on her chest. He took a deep breath and so did she, steeling herself against the words that would undoubtedly follow.

“You're right, Robin, we're at different places in this-” God, this was the end. “- and I'm sorry I… fuck, I don't know what got into me that night. I knew from the start it would be like this. It's exactly what I signed up for, so don't you dare seek the fault in yourself, woman.”

So this wasn't the end? He took her face in his rough hands, brushed her tears away, and placed those chapped lips on her forehead again. She loved it when he did that. No matter how rough his hands were, how chapped his lips, the gesture soothed her every ailment.

“Not sure if you noticed, but I don't have short term goals, woman. I will wait ‘til you're ready,” he told her with a determination that made her almost believe him. Made her want to believe him. Made her smile, made her breathe.

He got up, one of his hands trailing through her hair almost tenderly. God, she didn't deserve that man, but if he didn't mind waiting for years, possibly… who was she to complain?

“I'm on watch tonight,” he stated. An utterly redundant piece of information. He was on watch almost every night, but she knew the meaning behind his words.  _ Join me _ .  _ Come and bask in my proximity. Come and allow yourself to fall for me. _

Maybe. She contemplated them, every single one of his unvoiced propositions as she watched him climb up the rigging.

A match hissed to light behind her. “Well fuck me, the buffoon actually has a way with words.”

She knew the rivalry between the two of them was mostly for show, but the astonishment in the chef's voice was real. About the unsuspected eloquence, not the apparent relationship between them. For how long had he known? She would have expected him to be quite vocal and violent upon finding out, but as he leaned against the railing, one hand in his pocket, the other on his cigarette, he did seem at peace with the situation. He must have known for weeks!

“He has many hidden talents,” she smiled at him, trying her best to hide her earlier tears.

The corners of his mouth dropped, and he answered with an indignant huff, “yeah, I'd prefer to be left in blissful ignorance about those, if you don't mind.”

“What can I do for you, Sanji-kun,” she asked, seeing something akin to nervousness in his behaviour, more than the possible information about Zoro's sexual prowess allowed. Usually, the cigarette would just more or less comfortably lie between his lips after a few inhales, but he was already halfway through.

“You know I love you, Robin, so don't take this the wrong way. The damn mosshead is loyal to a fault, and he will wait for you indefinitely…,” he trailed off for another deep inhale of smoke, tapped the toe of his boot against the planks. He was obviously nervous and probably dreaded his next words just as much as she did.

“Please go on, Sanji-kun”

He flicked the butt in the sea, stalling.

“If you can't find it in your heart to love him, don't use him. Break it off. He will sulk and hurt, and probably follow that damn blade's whims again for a while, but he will come back the same he was before. He doesn't look it, but under all that brawn, he's a softie. Have you seen the guy with kids? It's almost ridiculous... What I'm trying to say is, don't destroy him.”

By the way the cook looked at her, it must have almost destroyed him to say those things, but he was right. It was a truth she knew deep down whenever she was alone, a truth that was pushed back into the far end of her consciousness whenever her grumpy swordsman was near.

High above her, she could see the light in the crow's nest. She should go up and end it. 

She didn't want to, dear god she really didn't, but Sanji was right.

“Don't jump to conclusions, Robin, I'm not done. If all you need is time to accept that you do need him, that this thing between you is more than nakamaship and … sex… then spare the two of you the heartbreak and go up there to commit to that damn lucky bastard.”

“I'm afraid it's not that simple, Sanji-kun.”

It really wasn't. He lit another cigarette, god this really was eating away at him. How had she not realised that the chef was this worried about them, him? They had fought more than usually lately, hadn't they? This thing was breaking the crew apart. Oh, how would Chopper feel? During their bath all those weeks ago, she'd been so confident, the boy had seemed to like the idea of them together, would he be disappointed?

“Well what is it you're worried about? That he'll break your heart? No offense, but as it stands now, it'll more likely be the other way round,” he said, and she could hear the irritation in his voice.

She chuckled, tried to ease the tension with a bit of humour, “and here I thought you'd be on my side, cook-san.”

It didn't work. His gaze turned dark within the second, a look he hadn't even bestowed on her all those years ago when she'd still been an enemy.

“I am, Robin, trust me. If that Neanderthal leaves so much as a bruise on your delicate body, I'll filet him alive with a spoon, but right now, you don't seem to be the one needing protection,” he said in a tone much softer than the sinister look had made her expect. It wasn't the right situation for thoughts like that, and still she blushed at the mention of bruises. Hopefully the cook would never find out that she wished for far more than just bruises to adorn her body. Wasn't that commitment in a way? Carrying his mark? Could it be a middle ground? A promise that she'd come around in the future?

She smiled, happy almost. “Thank you, Sanji-kun, you helped me a lot,” she told him truthfully. And just like that, every ounce of seriousness disappeared from him as he pirouetted towards the galley, singing words of gratitude towards his sweet, sweet mellorine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh what could she possibly want to do now? Find out next week(!) And drop me a kudos or comment to let me know what you think.  
> If you can't wait for next week to read more about our favourite swordsman I urge you to check out Rexicas amazing disinhibition, things are getting hot over there… not trying to guilt trip you or anything, but you owe her big time for putting up with my utterly random punctuation ^^


	26. M

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Robin had doubts and Sanji tried to talk some sense into her (as Rexica said during betaing: poor guy will need more cigarettes)  
> This time we'll see what Zoro makes of Robin's recent behaviour and what glorious plans Sanji had inspired in the archeologist. A little heads up, I'm taking some liberties with Robin's ability

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hallo and welcome back!  
> As always a huge thank you to Rexica for betaing, this story would be only half as good without her!

Never assume anything, golden rule of BDSM. He had internalised it ages ago. Or rather, it had been beaten into him very early on in his journey. He was glad for it, even though he hadn't shown it to the woman back then, his pride way too wounded to see the merit in her actions and teachings… 

Well, he rarely acted on assumptions in social interaction, but he did assume a great deal of things.

For example, he assumed that the shit cook was an idiot… scratch that, he  _ knew _ he was an idiot, but he assumed that him fawning over everything with a pulse and a cunt between the legs was to compensate for  _ something _ . After the 2 years, it had almost become  _ palothogical _ .

He did assume that Nami used their debts to bind them to her, and that she liked him best because his debt was the highest. Well, his and Luffy's, but the boy was an idiot who had probably earned every single berry on his tab.

He also assumed that their captain wasn't as naïve as he seemed. He had spent two fucking years with the Kuja, after all. The empress seemed madly in love with him, and he had mentioned that they had shared a bath together at some point. There also was that Alabasta bath house incident. Just like the others, the boy had gotten a nosebleed at the sight. Fucking idiots should have expected Nami would react like that… maybe not her flashing them, but they should have definitely known that she would charge them. He had known. It was the reason he hadn't been up that wall with the other fools, not because he had gotten lost on his way or something, most definitely not!

He did assume that Chopper was aware of his occasional escapades, because he knew about his keen sense of smell, he just couldn't bring himself to actually admitting it, or think too hard about it because… Chopper was Chopper. The boy who would hide behind him or come snuggle against him whenever a dream from his rough past ripped him from his sleep. Or when the idiot skeleton told him a horror story before bedtime...

And as of late, he assumed that Robin loved him. No, he  _ knew _ she loved him. He assumed that she was  _ in  _ love with him, even though she seemed to struggle with accepting it. 

Even with marines or other ships nearby, she would come up to the crow's nest without a book to even pretend to read. He assumed it was just so she could fall asleep and wake up with him next to her.

Even when the others were around, he caught her watching him with a fond smile on her lips that made his heart swell with emotion. It was a strained smile sometimes, but he didn't care about that. It was like her to worry, after all.

For all the talking they had done, they had never talked emotions. Mainly because she had made clear from the beginning that she wasn't ready for it. Instead of dumping all his feelings on her, he waited for her to breach the subject - as hard as it was sometimes, shown in his latest fuck up. He just hoped she would do it soon, because the way she was acting around him, it didn't really take a genius to figure out. And he really wanted to get their story straight before getting cornered by the few of the crew still blissfully unaware.

He didn't mind that she took her time to evaluate. Was sure enough that things would turn out in favour for him, just like the freak meeting with Emilia. Things were clear for him, and there was nothing to hide, nothing that could sneak up and bite him in the ass. All he could do now was make her confident and comfortable enough to admit it to at least herself.

Just like he had ages ago. From the realisation in the bar that no other woman would do, the first kiss where he'd still been afraid to crush her, to the first stray thought of love right before going berserk on that flock of marines... When they'd first made out  on Karni, fuck, he hadn't even cared that she probably wasn't into the same things he was. Oh sweet, sweet surprise. If only he'd found her with such books sooner… he might still have a bed of warm wood instead of the cold steel one. Not that it mattered. He did spend most of his nights up here with Robin after all, play or not, they'd gotten used to sleeping with the other around. Felt wrong sleeping alone… he  _ assumed _ it was the same for her.

It didn’t matter that she had tried to break it off just now. Feelings were complicated for her, and he knew he couldn’t change that. He’d just have to wait and hope that his luck would be enough to take on the demons holding her back. He leaned his swords against the couch, hand lingering on Kitetsu. 

He had meant to ask Franky for a swordrack one of these days, but… over the past months the idea of a wooden rack had lost its appeal. Now, he preferred if he could finally test a more… organic one. 

Damn, this was not the time to flee into fantasy, he should clear his mind. Had seen what it had done to her the last time he had slipped. How had that even happened? It was unlike him to question things, either they happened or they weren’t meant to happen. He could try his best to change them, but even then, there was no use in questioning the outcome, no use wrecking his mind over it. Or Robin’s. He took off his robe and haramaki, readied himself for a few hundred reps of weighted pushups. They usually got things in his head in order. 

It really didn’t matter that she had tried to break it off, not to him, but what did matter was why. Did she really think she couldn’t love him? Or  was she afraid to love him ? First option didn’t bother him the slightest. She already did, so who cared if she realised it just yet? The second, however, was something else. If for whatever reason she wouldn’t allow herself to fall deeper for him, he’d have to tackle that problem, which he couldn’t since she wouldn’t tell him the reason. Fucking infuriating. Nami might know what her problem was, but he couldn’t ask her and neither would she tell him… What could be the reason? What did she fear would happen if she fell in love with him, consciously? For a woman like her it would probably make her feel vulnerable, but she should know that he wouldn’t hurt her. Did she still fear he would leave her? He had  _ told _ her he wouldn’t, so that couldn’t be the reason. He already knew about her past, so she couldn’t be afraid he’d dislike her for whatever the fuck they had done to her. He didn’t know all of it of course, and not too many details, but again, he had  _ told _ her that he didn’t care about that, wouldn’t think less of her because of it. Damn it.

He was on pushup 729 when she came through the latch, smiling and with an air of determination around her that had him feel like an idiot for searching the possible reasons for her denial. Right now, she didn’t seem to want to deny him anything.

“I have a proposition for you, once you’re done, Kenshi-san,” she announced with a huge smile that one rarely saw on the devil child Nico Robin. He grunted an affirmative before finishing his reps at 1500 while she made herself comfortable on the couch, no book in hand. If she called him by that stupid nickname, it really could go either way. But she did seem quite optimistic, so he assumed - again- this time it wasn't meant to distance herself.

When he righted himself to dry off with the nearby towel, she beat him to it, rubbing the rough fabric along his torso with a hunger in her eyes he had missed the last few weeks. She seemed like a new person. Whatever had happened between them talking on deck and her coming up here had made all the difference, and he hated the thought of it being the damn cook who had made her this… positive. His rival had been the only other one awake when he’d left her.

She walked around him, leaving one cool hand on his chest as she scrubbed his back dry with the other. He could get used to this. Her long fingers played with the scar Mihawk had left on his front, her nails scratching along the edges every now and then.

“You know, I don’t have any of those,” she said, dropping the towel to press herself against his back, “scars I mean. You must have noticed…”

He gave her a firm nod when she rested her head on his shoulder, her breath tickling through his earrings. Since their last encounter, she had taken to approaching him on his blind side more and more.

“With all I told you, did it make you wonder? Shouldn’t my body be littered with scars?”

He nodded again. “It should.”

“Until a year ago, it still was,” she said and buried herself in his neck. She didn’t want to talk about this, which maybe explained why she had chosen his blind side this time, too. Didn’t make sense though, scars did not disappear. And fuck, he sure as hell would have noticed scars on her even before they had become intimate. Wasn’t like her outfits had left much to the imagination… Had… she didn’t wear quite as revealing clothing as she had before, was that because of him? He honestly didn’t give a single fuck about what she wore in front of others as long as he was the only one who could bury his cock in her at the end of the day! He shook his head, not the time.

“How? Luffy’s dad have some mystery potion?”

She laughed, making his earrings chime against one another… wasn’t that funny… who knew what people came up with these days? He had no time to sulk though. His scar started tingling, and he jerked back into Robin when he saw it disappear before his eye. Holy fuck? That couldn’t- he had earned that, how could- no, it didn’t actually disappear. There was that tingling warmth that always came with her grown limbs, but it was around the scar, not on it. That bit of skin was still as numb as it had always been. It was still there, just hidden.

“It’s how I hid them. A sheen of tiny hands, artificial second skin, if you will.”

He let out a breath he had probably been holding since he’d thought his precious memento had just been healed out of existence. “And now?”

“Now you don’t have to worry about scarring me for life if you cut me, Zoro-sama.”

Fucking damn. Her words had run straight to his cock, and it took him every ounce of self control he had not to take her then and there. Fuck. She would look beautiful, but what the bloody hell was she thinking? He turned, put some steps between them and did an admittedly horrendous job at reining in his irritation. “Have you lost your fucking mind, woman? I can’t cut you!”

She raised one of her delicate eyebrows at him and crossed her arms under her chest, and he wasn’t quite sure if she was pouting or trying to persuade him by drawing attention to her glorious tits. 

“And why not?” she asked. “You didn’t seem to have reservations when it came to Emilia, did you?”

Definitely pouting. And fuck him for thinking it a good idea to let the two talk. So much for nothing there to bite him in the ass. No, it had been a good idea, letting her talk to another sub… giving her a chance to ask questions he probably couldn’t answer. But fuck, this really wasn’t something he wanted to have to discuss with her. It had been so easy not to do it, not want to do it with her when she had shown no interest at all, but now… fuck. That wasn’t the safe or sane thing to do to begin with, but for them… They were pirates for fuck’s sake!

“Well, maybe that was because she wasn’t a fucking pirate that could be attacked any fucking second of the day? Damn it, woman, you should know that every wound we sustain could mean our death, and you  _ want  _ me to cut you? Are you crazy?” he tried to reason, knowing full well that he would never win a verbal fight against her even when he was right. This really was a waste of time, there was nothing he could say. She knew the dangers, knew that if she wanted a scar like Emilia -as he  _ assumed _ , since she’d brought the woman up- she’d have to nurse an open wound for quite a while. He couldn’t even stall because she was uninformed. Hadn’t read the whole book she’d written, but he knew there was a risk assertion section for any form of play she’d covered, and cutting unfortunately was one of them. She had done her homework, and now she was standing before him fully aware of all the risks involved and still consenting, requesting. Fucking hell.

“You know I’m aware, Zoro,” she summed up his own thoughts for him.

“I know…” he admitted and sat down on the couch with one deep breath, “but for fuck’s sake, woman, I don’t want to be responsible for you getting killed or captured because you aren’t in top fighting condition. What if you get an infection, or I accidentally cut a nerve? That shit is dangerous.” But fuck, did he want to cut her. Carve his mark into her body for everyone to see, paint that pale skin red with her blood… Gods be damned, as much as he wanted to, he wouldn’t. Couldn’t.

“Ne, Zoro…” He froze, she didn't usually use that type of girlish speech, did she? And that high pitch? Oh the gods help him, the woman was going for the kill. The last time she had only put pictures in his mind, it had taken him weeks to get rid of… Luffy’s absolute lack of modesty really hadn’t helped the issue... This time, he wouldn't be that lucky. This time, she'd use a weapon he and the government alike feared way more than any devil fruit… logic and knowledge. He refused to acknowledge her, but she continued anyway. “Are you not becoming the world’s greatest swordsman? Have you not long since mastered the art of cutting everything and nothing? Don’t you prove that ability whenever you fight marines? I can’t possibly imagine a man of your proficiency to accidentally cut something important, and while yes, I could flinch into your blade… you could always immobilise me with that rope of ours.”

She fucking had him, and she knew it. Showed him with that hungry glint in her eyes and barely restrained triumphant smile on her face. It wasn’t like catering to his strength and abilities particularly swayed him, that would be so, so weak of him, but it really was the only part they didn’t have to worry about. Even back with Emilia, when he hadn’t even known it possible for people to  _ want  _ to get cut, and he hadn’t known how to  _ not  _ cut, his mastery over the blade had not been the issue. He knew anatomy, too, Koshiro had made it a point to sit him down and study. After all, one could not master the blade without knowing where to cut. The actual problem was the wound. He didn’t mind sending her to Chopper with random cuts here and there, surely she could come up with some excuse, but if she wanted his mark, there was no way in any hell that he would let the kid get involved. They could probably wait for Law to stay with them for a while and then do it? At least for the initial care, to make sure everything was fine? He did know how to dress a wound himself of course, but with their life as pirates, it was better safe than sorry. 

“About Emilia…” It felt so weird addressing her like that, knowing it wasn’t her real name. “She already had scars by the time I met her. She knew what she was doing and what she was asking, so don’t expect me to just carve you up like that.”

She looked surprised. She really shouldn't be; it should have been obvious to her that even if he consented they wouldn't rush into things just like that.

“She was already scarred? How? I thought she was your age?” she asked. 

That explained her confusion. He scoffed. “Right, she was 21 back then, and I have a feeling she will be for a while.”

She huffed, probably irritated that she'd been fooled like that. Then she took a deep breath. “Doesn’t matter, it doesn't change anything, I still want you to cut me and I want you to leave a mark. I won't show it to anybody but you, and I can heal it should I get captured. I'm aware that we will work our way up, and I know about the risks involved. The wounds may have to be reopened to ensure the proper scarring thus prolonging the healing process, but that shouldn't be an issue. Your wounds never get infected, and you don't even try to heed Chopper’s warnings. I'm sure he can provide care for an extended amount of time without it being too much of an inconvenience.”

Had he heard that right? Chopper? She truly was out of her mind if she thought about going to the kid. She must have seen his thoughts on his face because he could swear he saw her eyes roll before several arms of her bloomed into existence, opening one of the compartments under the couch.

“You really don't give him enough credit. He's a doctor,” she said while her arms passed her manuscript over to him. Before he could even think to ask her what this was about, another arm opened it to reveal the cover page.

_ A guide for the negotiation of non-normative sexual practices: Exhaustive terms and conditions for consensual transfer of power and risks therein. _

_ By Nico Robin and Tony ...Tony ...Chop... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, what could have happened here? When will we find out? Let me tell you with my least favourite quote from my favourite manga: Shōganai “[...] will be on break next week. It will resume [...]” on April 17th!  
> Drop me a comment to let me know what you think about this one!  
> I’m well aware that we’re starting to tread into territory that definitely isn’t for everybody, but unfortunately I made up my mind. We’re still a few chapters away from that and I will definitely give you an explicit warning beforehand so you can just read the chapter on ffnet or skip altogether.


	27. 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Zoro worked really hard to analyse their arrangement because Robin has been acting weird. Turned out his worry was for naught because Robin's mind was very much made up. The last chapter had a rather abrupt ending, this time we find out why and maybe even a little how they are planning to incorporate this new kink in their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hallo and welcome back!  
> First off, I'm glad to have you back, ghost, was getting worried and now I'm in total awe that you read my chapters more than once… I tend to get fed up with them after reading them only twice and I write them ^^’
> 
> As always a huge thank you to my beta Rexica, this story would be an unreadable mess without her. Check out her story disinhibition, it was just updated and let me tell you this latest chapter made me happy.

_ “I didn't want him to faint again, so I didn't ask him if he'd use scalpels or his own blades, but if he uses his swords I'd recommend he also uses haki, because no matter how good he takes care of them, they aren't sterile. Also, just in case, I did put some disposable scalpels in the box… just tell him you bought it on the last island or something, I don't want him distracted when you guys do stuff like that.” _ That's what Chopper had told her when he'd given her the box five days ago, after she'd heaved the unconscious swordsman down to the infirmary and explained the situation. She did not like lying to Zoro. They had settled for brutal honesty about everything kink related, but in light of recent events, she agreed with their doctor, so she followed his advice and told the lie.

The swordsman's eyebrow rose in reaction. “Pretty sure you got it from Chopper,” he sighed in that fatalistic way that gave her hope that he might have made peace with the fact that Chopper was her doctor and always would be. Rather unimpressed, he packed all the sterile packs of gauze and compresses and the bottle of disinfectant back into the box, quite haphazardly she might add, before shoving it into the compartment under the couch. “Well, we won’t be needing that anytime soon anyway,” he explained, grey eye on her. 

“We won’t?” she asked. Hadn’t they talked about this? After she had assured him over and over again that she had never been cut before - hit and whipped, burned, yes, but never cut - he had agreed to at least ease her into knife play before they got serious. So wouldn’t it be practical to keep it out?

He scoffed. “No, Robin,” he said, as if it were obvious while he continued to rummage through the small storage. God, she loved how her name sounded from his tongue. Should she be ashamed that it was enough to get her excited? Enough for her lower belly to tighten and for her lips to wet? He rarely used her name in their everyday life recently, but when they were here, up high in the crow’s nest all alone, he wouldn’t call her anything but. Him using her name made her shudder in memory of the wonderful things he had done to her and quiver in excitement for all the things to come. The satisfaction dancing in the grey eye that still hadn’t left her told her that he knew exactly what effect it had on her and that it was very much welcome.

“Then what are you planning?” It clicked when he finally found what he had been searching for: three packs of rope, one of them the smooth red rope they had gotten from the old woman, and two other packages more than twice the size.

He got up, throwing the red one on the couch and undoing the other two. “You said it yourself, Robin. It won’t do for you to flinch into the blade, so before you can even hope to feel the bite of my sword, you’ll have to get used to the tooth of the rope. Undress.”

She did without hesitation, blushing despite his feigned disinterest as he linked the two ropes in the middle. Maybe it was more for the excitement surging through her body from him ordering her around, or the pictures running through her head. Pictures of what she would look like once he was done with her. 

“You will tell me if the ropes are too tight or you feel pain,” he said as he put the looped ropes over her head, link hanging low on her neck.

“Yes,” she answered. She would tell him, would speak up if something was wrong, because she knew he wouldn't punish her for justified complaint. He wouldn't whip her because her limbs had dared going numb. He wouldn't charr her skin black, because her limbs had dared turning blue. With the firm grip of one callused hand around her jaw, he ripped her from her dreadful past and lead her back to her delightful present, fire and doubt warring for dominance in his grey eye. 

“I will, Zoro-sama,” she affirmed, and the fire won. 

His knuckles brushed against her skin as he tied the four strands of rope into a loose twist above her chest, and her breathing hitched as one of the loose tails whipped against her thigh. Lord, this was a lot of rope, how could he possibly need all of it? Another twist below her chest, and her skin erupted in goosebumps when the back of his hands brushed against the underside of her breasts. 

He kept his gaze on her face as he tied another further down her body, without a doubt drinking in even her most miniscule reaction. She did not dare look down. As curious as she was, she did not for fear that he would stop. In fact, she was terrified, even though somewhere in the back of her head a teeny tiny voice told her that it should be him continuing to tie her up that scared her. She should try to escape before it was too late, before she would be completely at his mercy, but she did not want to. She delighted in the thrill of what was to come. Her body relished in the way his stare made her feel so small and vulnerable, the way the rope brushed over her skin. 

She jumped into his hand when he tied another twist right above her tiny pearl, no doubt deliberately touching her. He reprimanded her with a click of his tongue. “What did I tell you about discipline? Stay still.”

Her reaction was instantaneous and maybe worrisome in its extent. Her heart sped up at his words and a wave of dread washed over her, because the last time he had chided her lack of discipline was still very present in her mind. He could not deny her again after such a short time, could he?

“Forgive me, Zoro-sama,” she sobbed, and her eyes grew wide when she realised she was actually crying. It didn't seem to bother him, in fact he seemed awfully smug about it as he nodded his head in approval before tapping the inside of her right thigh.

Unexplained happiness surged through her as she spread her legs for him to pull the ropes between her thighs. He scoffed as he brushed against her labia, “Fucking drippin’ already, are we, Robin? Arms.” 

Lifting her arms in the air, the best she could do was a rather pathetic whimper. She hadn't realised just how sensitive she had become under the constant caress of the rope until the rough fabric of his robe pressed against her breasts as he reached behind her to loop the tails through the bit of rope hanging down between her shoulder blades. He brought the lengths back to her front and spread apart the first loop between her breasts by twisting the loose tails through each side right below the first twist. Just barely she repressed the shudder running through her as the ends caught on her nipples before he crossed them behind her back.

When he pulled them to the front again to twist through the same loop but beneath her chest, he pulled his gaze away from hers for the first time since he had started, looking at the impressively neat hexagon between her mounds. For but a second, she contemplated just how often he must have done this to work this precise without even looking, then he yanked her forward with the ropes. “Focus,” he chastised, and she whimpered as the lowest knot bit into her clitoris.

She did focus, though, as he continued drawing out hexagon after hexagon. She focused solely on him - the brush of his hands, the friction of his rope, the press of his body against hers. Everything else just… fell away. The Sunny, the danger of getting caught, the constant threat to their lives, her past. Everything was gone except for the two of them. Every feeling of dread and anxiety, every hurt from the past, none of it mattered as he clad her in a dress of hemp to hold her together so she didn't have to herself. 

How long had it been? She couldn't tell, minutes or hours, it all seemed the same. But it took only the blink of an eye to rip her from her meditative cocoon of weightlessness, for bottomless desperation and boundless desire to crash back into her. All it had taken was for him to break their gaze, to leave her line of sight, and her knees nearly buckled from the weight of the loss. He held her up though, with a sure grip around the ropes over the small of her back, giving her back the sense of security but nearly ripping away her control as the rope pushed up against her most sensitive parts.

“So, Robin, there anything you want?” He asked just suggestive enough to tell her he knew exactly what she wanted. Knew that her body was on fire, craved his touch; that it wasn't just what she wanted, but needed; that her core was throbbing for his erection. How had this happened? It was just rope and yet she felt like she was on one of the aphrodisiacs Crocodile would give her for his parties. How was she not frightened? She had always been terrified when she had felt this way before, the need to fight, to flee thrumming through her veins just as much as his drugs did. Yet, here she stood, over a puddle of her own secretions wanting more. Feeling free like she never had before because she felt pleasure of her own choosing. He had asked her before if she could imagine how it would be to be tied up without the wish to escape, and she couldn't have even imagined just how exhilarating it was. All her life, she had fled and fought, and now she finally knew what it was like to not having to do any of those things; what it was like to stay and submit. 

She refocused on him, after the flat of his calloused hand made contact with her cheek for the second time.

“Wasn't a rhetorical question, Robin.” He urged, and it took her a bit to get enough of her bearing to remember his question.

She knew exactly what she wanted, could now even admit it to herself. Even though she had effectively tried to distance herself from all the lewd and disgusting things they had made her do and say… had even sworn herself to never allow such deranged situations to arise again, she now knew that there was nothing disgusting or deranged about it when it happened between him and her. And yet, saying it out loud still scared her. She was truly glad that she was flushed enough already so he wouldn't notice her embarrassment.

He sighed, fingers digging under the highest twist to pull her towards him. “Fine, Robin, I can see you're a bit overwhelmed. Let me help you,” he suggested, his hot breath against her ear making her shudder in delight while his too generous tone made her tingle with dread.

“You want my cock,” he stated as a matter of fact, catching her earlobe between his teeth for emphasis, biting harder than necessary and just hard enough to send another spark down to her nether regions.

He chuckled when she jumped, right into his waiting hand, deft fingers immediately circling her wet entrance. God, she was so close already, had been for a while. 

“Only question is where,” he finished, and one slick finger brushing her rear entrance made her yelp in surprise. No, she didn't want that, not now, not yet, and she could read on his smug face that he knew. It shouldn't be a problem, telling him that she wanted him in her femininity, but that wasn't what he wanted to hear, was it? 

His face fell in disappointment. She didn't know if it was real or an act, but she still felt the burn of regret bubbling up her tearducts. She didn't want to disappoint him. She could say it, she would, she would tell him that she wanted him to bury his cock in her cunt. She could do it! But when she opened her mouth to speak through the tears streaming down her face, he cut her off, drew away from her, leaving her cold and guilty. Why did everything affect her so much? 

“When I ask you a question, you answer it right away and not whenever it seems right to you, Robin. You know that,” he said.

She knew. Lord, yes she knew, but it was so difficult, and she didn't even know why. She bowed her head. “Please forgive me, Zoro-sama.”

He grunted in response and turned away from her. “Well, since you obviously can't ask for it, I'll just have to make you work for it,” he said as he took the remaining rope. “Arms up so you can use your power.”

Her heart skipped a beat as she obeyed. That meant he forgave her, didn't it? That he wasn't too disappointed in her? God, she didn't want to disappoint him! She wanted to make him happy any way she could! She didn't pay attention as he bound her arms in position; she wouldn't dare defy him again, so she concentrated with all she had to keep her body from reacting to the way the red harness around her forearms would scratch against her nipples with each breath she took. And she was sure it would only be half as hard if it weren't for the twist of rope doing the same with her clitoris.

When he was done, he laid his hand on her head, just enough pressure in the touch to let her sink down on her knees, just enough to help her keep her balance now that her hands were tied. Just enough so she wouldn't slip. His hand fisted in her hair the moment she had safely settled before him, tilted her head up to look at him. She wasn't even embarrassed about the now cooled liquid against her shins as she looked up, drinking in his glower. Dear lord, that gaze alone made her want to rub her thighs together no matter how unsatisfactory anything but him would be for her. But she didn't dare. No matter how much she throbbed and dripped, she would wait her turn. Wouldn't disappoint him again.

He just stared at her for a while, and the oddest sensation washed over her as she once again felt tears run down her face. It wasn't anticipation or dread - she was positively giddy. How did he intend to make her work for it? Would he let her taste him again? Oh please, god, yes! That velvet skin, the soft nutty flavour… she barely suppressed a whimper, it had been so long! Had he noticed that she'd taken to snack cashews recently? He would let her if she asked him, wouldn't he? If she begged with all the obscene words he wanted to hear? 

He let go of her, and as neglectable as the contact had been, so dire was the loss of it. With the warmth of his hand, he took her hope and reason, leaving only dreadful longing just like before when he had left her sight to tie the ropes up the small of her back.

Then he grinned at her, that huge grin that made his enemies tremble in fear but made her heart surge in unexplained happiness.

“You'll be quite useful to me now, Robin,” he declared, and joyous tears replaced the sad and terrified ones from just a moment ago.

She was a complete emotional mess, and dear god please don't ever let it end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hallo and welcome to the first installment of bdsm 101! Today's episode is about rope.  
> Examples for general safety: check your rope before playing; know how to free your sub at any time, have some safety shears on hand that can actually cut the rope you use. Rope can be easily replaced, trust and limbs not so much; talk, it's rather painful if the rope compresses a nerve, just millimetres can be the difference between agony and pleasure; check for numbness, the sub won't notice restricted blood flow, that's the Dom's responsibility. 
> 
> Read this stuff up online or in books, I'm not responsible if you try to copy this scene and something goes wrong.
> 
> That out of the way, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please drop me a comment or kudos to let me know what you think. See you next week!


	28. N

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Robin was in a bit of a bind, quite literally! She loved it, lets see if Zoro enjoys himself just as much! In case you didn’t quite catch it, or have forgotten (like I have) the first thing he tied was a tortoise shell rope dress or kikkou karada (You know, the thing most people first imagine when hearing rope bondage) and then he freestyle bound her arms up to stay in their hana hana position. I honestly tried to draw a picture for the scene to come but unfortunately I suck at drawing hands...and they are kinda crucial with Robin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hallo and welcome back!  
> First things first, thank you for your review, ghost, I absolutely agree that the word pussy is off-putting, in fact I haven't even thought about it until you brought it up. Just like sexy… both sound ridiculous to me if I'm being honest.  
> And since we’re on the topic: in case any of you have been wondering why Zoro doesn’t treat Robin’s breasts with the expected enthusiasm, I loathe the word ‘nipple’, simple as that.  
> Do you guys know that my excessive use of the word 'cunt’ is the most praised part of this fic? I feel like every pm I receive, that's the common ground. 
> 
> As always a huge thank you to Rexica, you people can't even imagine how important she is for this story! Check out her story disinhibition, it was just updated last week and let me tell you this latest chapter made me happy.  
> This time also a huge thank you to Eve, who has been kind enough to preview this chapter and to grant me some insight on the other side. Let me tell you, this chapter changed a lot and is now infinitely better than it was before!  
> All I need now is for a proud owner of a penis to step up and tell me how I’m doing on that end.

She was different this time. He knew that the rope tended to draw out sides of the recipients they themselves sometimes didn’t know, but holy fuck, he hadn’t expected her to be this receptive; to let go like that. She was a crying, emotional mess, and he fucking loved every second of it. Felt foolish for having doubted her. Sure, one could let go like that without any grand feelings of love, but Nico Robin sure as fuck wouldn’t allow herself to get lost like that if she didn’t have those… if she didn’t accept them on some level at least.

Pretty sure it would take more than just calling her ‘woman’ to snap her out of it this time.

He would have almost given in to his throbbing cock then, when she'd looked up at him from the floor; tears running down her cheeks, eyes filled with such desperation and worship... It filled his insides with the liquid heat he had been so intimately familiar with up to two years ago and that he’d missed ever since. Yeah, this really was different from their first time together: this was _right_. He wasn’t scared shitless that he might accidentally hit a trigger, shattering all the trust she put in him in an instant. No, he knew he could spank her across the room, and she would beg for more. No fucking way he'd cave just yet. He'd draw this out for as long as he could ... but then he noticed the sheen of sweat covering her from head to toe, acknowledged the puddle of her own sticky fluid she was kneeling in, the tears dripping on her tits, and it had ripped him right back to his senses.

If she fainted again this time, it would be like last time from pleasure frying her brain, not because he'd been too caught up in his fantasy to keep her hydrated. So instead of his swords, he grabbed a bottle of ‘Dr. Chopper's’ and held it to her lips. She didn't even question it, just obeyed. Fucking hell, she was completely gone, completely at his mercy. She'd given herself to him without restraint, all of her carefully constructed walls down… It would be so fucking easy to destroy her. Would be fucking terrifying if he didn’t know what he was doing. But he did.

She wouldn’t even realise if something was wrong. That was his responsibility now. His judgement was the only thing standing between pleasure and pain, pain and mutilation; the only thing protecting her sanity. Because as she was right now, she couldn't take responsibility for any of that. She entrusted her body and mind to him in a way she hadn't done before and which was infinitely more satisfying. As she was now, could she even feel her own body? He broke their gaze and looked her over. Her hands still held the same healthy colour as before, reacted to his touch, but they did feel a bit cold. All of her did, actually. He'd need to wrap this up sooner than he'd hoped. Just a quick wipe then, and if they got along, if Kitetsu behaved, he could always try another time. When he grabbed his swords, their energies practically thrummed against his senses.

He held Shuusui out next to her and relished for just a few moments in her desperate confusion before saving her from her tangible fear of disappointing him. Just when had that become her motivation instead of curiosity and her own pleasure? Had she even noticed it herself? That her pleas for forgiveness had stopped being just recited words they had agreed upon and had started to come alive with honest desperation and a wish to please?

“Six for him.” He ordered, and as soon as the words left him, six arms bloomed into existence below to meet the black sheath. With a nod of approval, he moved to her other side, holding out Kitetsu for her to take while at the same time willing the mad blade to behave.

“Two,” he ordered, thoroughly ignoring the sword's wicked cackle.

A shiver wrecked her frame as soon as the cursed sword made contact with her hands, and she instantly apologized for the surprised yelp she’d given. He gave her a low hum to show that he didn’t mind. In fact, he was rather ecstatic that his good luck charm seemed to get along so nicely with his woman.

When he laid Wadô in her hands, her actual hands, her eyes widened in joyous surprise.

“You wanted to get familiar with her, didn’t you, Robin?” he asked.

It took her a short moment to comprehend. Compared to her usual self, she was becoming quite slow, but then she donned the happiest smile he had ever seen on any person and thanked him, as if holding his sword was the greatest honour of all. In any other situation, he probably would have felt mocked. In this one, however, where he knew her mind far beyond the capacity to lie to him, it made not jumping her so much harder.

He knelt down before her, extending a hand for Shuusui, and she gave it to him without any hesitation. Seemingly ignoring the bound woman before him, he bowed to the blade, drew it and wiped it. Performing the same ritualised tasks he always did, but his Haki was solely trained on Robin.

When he opened the bottle of choji oil, something in her changed, and confused frustration rolled off of her in waves. Oh, it had to be so frustrating for a woman of her intellect to be abandoned by her own brain. One final bow towards the black blade, and he gave it back to her, demanding Kitetsu next.

His swords were heavy, he knew and Robin started to notice it too if the tremor in her arms was an indication.

He gave Kitetsu back, taking Wadô in return, and he just barely had time to unsheathe it when her head dropped from the exertion. Now, that wouldn't do. Willing his treasure not to cut her, he pushed her head up by the chin. Tears ran freely again from her clenched eyes, over her set jaw down to the tip of his blade pressing into the soft skin of her chin. She was beautiful!

“Look at me, Robin, I want to see the agony and despair in your eyes.”

Her blue eyes met his, her brow drawn in concentration and dread. So fucking beautiful.

“Good, now pull yourself together, you wouldn't want to disrespect my swords by letting them fall, would you, Robin?”

She gave a whine like some kicked dog in the streets before profusely agreeing that, no, she didn't want that, would never dare, and would do anything to please him. Fucking hell.

He drew the blade over her cheek in soft caress, rewarding her, and she didn't flinch. No, the goddess before him didn't flinch from his blade - she fucking leaned into it, her face a mask of pure fucking bliss. He was glad he didn't cut her face, but damn if the gesture didn't nearly make him explode in his fucking pants.

By the time he was done with Wadô, she had pretty much reached her limit. Just as well; he wouldn't last long anyway. After the final bow towards his trusted blade, he got up and laid it back into her waiting hands, pat her head for a job well done, not daring to use his sword again with his attention waning. Woman was fucking unpredictable. She smiled again, as if he was the fucking center of her world, before opening her mouth for him. Waiting. Wanting. So fucking tempting! Ah, fuck it all.

Cursing first his sash, then his robe, and finally his pants, he freed his throbbing cock, sighing in relief at the sensation. Fucking finally. Another whine from her drew his attention. Fist in her hair, he plunged himself into her waiting mouth, and it was fucking heaven. Her tongue dragging over his head, teeth scraping along his sides, throat constricting around him as she gagged. Took every fucking ounce of his willpower to focus his hazy mind enough not to push past her limit. Or what he thought he remembered to be her limit. Fuck.

Balls tight, feet tingling, abdominals tense, damn. Pulled out.

“Mouth or cunt, Robin,” he asked, but he only got a glazed gaze in return. Slapped her across the cheek. Not hard enough to bruise, but certainly hard enough to let him know that she didn't keep any balance on her own. Only thing keeping her upright was her hair in his fist, and he hadn't even noticed. Woman weighed fucking nothing. Did the trick.

“Mouth or cunt,” he repeated when she finally seemed to focus on him again, face all scrunched up as if it was the hardest thing she'd done in her life.

“Well?”

She clenched her eyes shut, turned away as much as his iron grip allowed. Gods, make up your fucking mind woman!

“Cunt!” She cried out. “Please fuck my cunt, Zoro-sama.”

Lead her down, just barely conscious enough to make sure Wadô didn't cut off her air supply as she lay on it. Pushed in, glad for the ropes’ added friction, because her cunt was absolutely soaked. She moaned and sobbed with every thrust, cunt clenching around him. Gripped her hips tighter. Balls tingling again. Heat spreading from his lower back. So fucking close.

“Cum, may… Please?”

Desperate as he was, that wouldn't do. Pulled her up against him by her hair. “What was that?”  So fucking hard, almost painful.

“Please, I… may I please cum, Zoro-sama?”

Better. Hummed his approval. “Do it.”

She did. Fucking heaven. Her cunt gripping him so tight, he lost it almost instantly. Barely saw the burst of petals; heard the clutter of his swords. Not important. Didn't care. Pure bliss.

Last few pumps inside of her. Throbbing. Fuck.

She was still convulsing around him. Few more thrusts to help her through. Pulled out when she went slack, not caring for his cum dripping out of her and on the floor. Whole room was a fucking mess. Took Wadô from her grasp. Laid her on the floor as gentle as he could. Could see his fingers imprinted on her left hip, some chafing of the rope. She wouldn't mind, and fuck if he didn't like the sight.

He leaned the white sword against the wall, she’d dropped the other two. He’d make her answer for that later, still scared him a bit when she fainted like that. He spread the blanket on the couch; he'd need to get a new one, a softer one. Couldn't fucking believe how weak his legs were. Grabbed some towels and wiped her down, got her dry. She started to stir when he picked her up, mumbled something against his chest. They’d really have to work on that, maybe ask Law, too… couldn’t be healthy to always faint like this, could it? He sat her on the couch, her head rolling back on the cushions, and undid the rope around her arms.

He looked at the red marks left from her thrashing against the rope, immediately squashing the thought that she did not deserve such rough treatment after what she'd already been through. Of course she deserved it. She wanted it, enjoyed it, and she damn well deserved to enjoy herself. Fuck his conscience for trying to destroy this for him, because it had been fucking amazing for both of them end of story.

A wave of horror washed over him, and Robin tensed. Took him longer than he'd like to admit to realise that it hadn't been his own emotion, especially since he was so fucking close to dropping. She sobbed and cried, and he just barely stopped himself from ordering her to shut up. Instead, he took her face in his hands, tried to focus her gaze on him, not at what she was staring at behind him.

“What's wrong?”

She sobbed some more, apologized over and over again before finally telling him why she was apologizing. “I didn't mean to drop your swords, Zoro-sama.”

Ah, she had, hadn’t she? He hushed her. “It's alright for now,” he assured her, tried to anyway. Hadn't planned for this, hadn't thought she'd let go like this. Took him ten fucking minutes to calm her down, ten damn minutes of soft words and kisses ‘til she was clear enough to understand that she’d have to answer for the disrespect, just not right now.

Took ten minutes for his regret to take root and fester, too. Fuck. How could he put her through this? How could he make her suffer like that? Because it's what both of them wanted. Did they though? She was new to this, he had introduced her. What if she just let herself be strung along? How the fuck was he better than Crocodile or any of the other sick fucks she had been with before? Deep breath. He wasn't like them. They had talked things through. He hadn't done anything she had not signed off on. Everything was fucking fine.

Didn't feel fine though.

Soft hands on his cheeks. Gods, how could her hands be so soft? She smiled at him, gaze tired but completely focused.

“Thank you,” she said before she kissed him. A chaste kiss but filled with so much love he could almost taste it. Did she know that? Was she aware? Didn't matter. She wouldn't kiss him like that, wouldn't smile at him like that if he had fucked up, if he had overdone it, if he was anything close to her tormentors.

Everything was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed yourself and aren’t too disappointed by the end, but I really wanted to address domdrop since it’s rarely done.  
> Drop me a kudos or comment and let me know what you think of this chapter! See you guys next week!


	29. 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last time Zoro utilised Robin in a way she might not have expected and they had some kinky fun. This one deals with the aftermath and is unfortunately rather short…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hallo and welcome back!  
> As always, Rexica is the best for putting up with my punctuation and all that, check out her story, she earned it, big time! You guys are amazing, too, your comments and favs and kudos really motivate me. I can't believe it's almost a year old already.

She didn't know how long it had taken for her to resurface, for him to bring her back. Apparently time didn't really matter when one thought their Dom had abandoned them. She had disrespected him in such a blatant way, and he didn't even deem her worthy of punishment. With everything she had endured in her life, she'd never felt more lost. When she had finally come to understand that she would have to answer for her crime, the unbridled happiness that had surged through her hadn't even surprised her. She hadn't second guessed it this time, not spent even a thought about how she  _ should _ worry about it. When they were up here, in calm waters and with no imminent threats, then she wanted to serve him in whatever way he deemed fit. He was her world, and anything he would do to her was infinitely better than being cast aside, given up. 

Through her joy, clarity returned, and she saw him again.  _ Him _ , Pirate Hunter Zoro, First Mate of the future pirate king and the world's greatest swordsman to be, not her Zoro-sama. The man kneeling before her, staring right through her, quite obviously battling his own thoughts. He looked miserable, regret clearly visible in his creased brow. Why? He should have enjoyed himself, right? This was what he did, wasn’t it? He had been open enough about his past experiences, from what her groggy mind could piece together of the earlier scene, nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Was it because of her? She couldn't help but wonder if he wouldn't enjoy normal sex more, if he wouldn't like her more if she were normal, if it wouldn’t be infinitely easier for him to indulge in her without all her ballast.

She had been quite selfish, hadn't she? She had monitored her own mental health quite closely; she owed it to herself, the crew, and him to make sure she didn't do this for the wrong reasons. That she didn't slip and become the empty husk that she had once been, that she enjoyed herself. She had not once spared a thought to his mental health, because this was his domain, because he was the one making the decisions. 

In that very moment, the realisation that he wasn't the only one with responsibility in this arrangement hit her quite a bit harder than he had. Even though her cheek still stung a bit.

She laid her hands on his cheeks, and his eye cleared, focusing on her instantly. “Thank you,” she said with a smile and placed a chase kiss on his lips. He beamed up at her like a little boy getting his long awaited birthday present.

It wasn't that he hadn't enjoyed himself. She had read about this, of course. She had read pretty much everything there was to read about the topic.

“Thank you, Zoro, I really enjoyed that.”

He grabbed her by the back of her neck and placed his lips on her forehead, murmuring his own thanks before hugging her and burying his face between her breasts as he undid the knot over the small of her back. Step by step, he untied her while the love she felt in his caress almost suffocated her. It felt unfair, but she was convinced she would feel better once he granted her his mark, because that was the only way she could commit to him, for now at least. Without any conscious thought, her fingers found their way into his green hair. He wore it longer than before their hiatus. It suited him, and she had to admit that she loved how it felt. Strong but incredibly soft to the touch. A mirror to himself almost.

When he was done with the rope and started to massage her lotion into the abused skin, another wave of guilt hit her. She knew that he was doing it for himself just as much as for her, but still… if only she could be normal and love him how he deserved. 

He hadn't outright told her how he felt, presumably because he didn't want to pressure her, but it was quite obvious in the way he looked at her, the way he touched her. In this moment, more than ever, even though he had told her he'd do that for every sub. Dry them, cuddle them, treat their wounds no matter how miniscule they were... It was part of his process. His way to ground himself, to show his subs appreciation for the trust they put in him. 

She felt it. The appreciation. In fact, she'd never felt more appreciated than in this moment of soft caress and kisses. Did he make all his partners feel that way? Like they were the the center of his world, his anchor? The thought made her insides burn in hypocritical jealousy. It should have been a relief to think that she wasn't special to him, because in all honesty, she still couldn't guarantee that she could fall in love with him. But it wasn’t. It made her burn, made her want to ask questions she wasn’t entitled to ask. She pressed his head to her chest, for a moment not even caring if she’d suffocate him. She had to be on her way to love, right? Otherwise, how could she be jealous of things she maybe only made up in her mind?.

For but a moment, he was irritated, frozen in place, still kneeling between her legs on the floor, before he wrapped his arms around her middle, laying his lotion covered hands over her sides. Lord, how small she felt in his arms. She would never tire of this. It felt like home, like it was right where she was supposed to be, and in this moment, her body weak, her mind exhausted, she didn’t even fight it. For one moment, she forgot that she didn’t deserve it and just basked in the bliss his embrace would grant her.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but cute, I hope, please tell me what you thought about it in the comments. Keep your eyes open for a timely update, this story has an anniversary to celebrate!


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